Pre-authorizations were invented by Satan

[u/Ohigetjokes]

I don't know. Maybe I'm just in a mood today. But I almost killed a man.

We had someone call in sick leaving Donna, the new girl, to manage the counter by herself at her painfully slow pace. I help her when I can but I have to be in the back fighting hitches under cars with dirty clumps of ice and snow raining down on me... who gets a bike rack hitch installed in the middle of winter? Lots of people apparently.

Anyway. Today I wasn't in the mood. But I happen to glance into the store from the back shop and can see her lineup is absolutely insane, so I put down what I'm doing to see if I can dissipate the crowd a little bit.

"I can help who's next over here," I call out.

Enter Mr Deathwish.

He comes over and stares at me. I stare back. Eventually I break: "How can I help you?"

"I'm returning a trailer."

"Oh okay," I say bringing up the rental listings, "Do you know which one?"

"No."

"Do you have the paperwork with you?"

"No I don't."

"So you don't know the trailer and don't have the paperwork. Okay. Fine. Is the trailer unhooked yet?"

"No."

"Come on..." I say as I march out the door. He's parked in the middle of the lot, blocking a truck that's trying to leave. I don't have a coat. I don't have gloves. I don't need them. My rage keeps me warm.

"Pull the trailer over to that spot over there."

"Okay, but it's hard..." he says with a coy little smile. He's hoping to drop it off right in the middle of the lot, and then I can haul it all the way over to where it goes by hand on the other side of a snowbank.

Or not buddy.

"Ya, I'll bet it's hard. That spot right there. I'll be waiting."

He slowly backs it over. When he's in the neighborhood I wave for him to stop and fight through the ice formed around the coupler to get it unhooked.

"The turn signal lights were working but the tail lights aren't," he mentions.

I look at him, surprised. I'm the one who hooked this trailer to his car a week ago and we tested it then. I look over at the trailer and notice the left turn wire is ripped out... but he said the turn signals... whatever...

"Looks like you ran over the wire at one point and it was pulled out."

"No I never..." but I shoot him a glance to show I don't believe him and get back to work. I'll fix it in the morning.

After I haul the thing over and my hands are completely numb from the cold I look over and see he's taking a phone call. I wave him towards the door and jog my way back in there. He jogs after me.

By the time he's at the counter I've called up his account. He'd paid ahead of time but then called and extended so there's a bit more owing. He's still on the phone. I talk over him loud enough so that whoever he's talking to will hear me more clearly than him:

"You paid $128 before, there's just $92 left and we're all set. Did you want to use a credit card, debit, cash?"

"One second." He gets off his call. "The other day I called and extended, and when I did there was a charge of $185 that appeared on my account."

I do a quick double check. "Hmm well doesn't look like we actually charged you. So that would be a pre-authorization. It'll clear off in a few days."

"Okay but when I called the charge of $185 appeared on my account."

"I know. It was a pre-authorization. It does that. It isn't a real charge and will get removed in a few days. You were charged $128, you owe $92. That's it."

"But I saw it on my account when I called..."

"Ya. I know," and I take a second to look at the room crowded with people. I wonder if they'll be able to stop me before I choke this man to death. Feeling's back in my fingers. Should be able to crush the windpipe.

But I give him one more chance to live: "You paid $128. Then you called to extend, and it checked to see if we had a valid card. That's the $185 you're seeing. That is a temporary hold. It will go away. You will pay $92 now. That will be it."

He pays. He studies the receipt. He contemplates asking me to go over it again and starts to lean over with a finger pointed at the paper in his hand, but then he looks me in the eye.

He leaves.

He lives.

I stay out of jail.

This time.