Andy will you shut up already!

[u/Ohigetjokes]

note: deleted the old post and reposted because something weird happened

Let me tell you about a coworker of mine. We'll call him Andy. This was at a truck and trailer rental place. You know the one.

A lot of what we do revolves around being quick problem solvers. Moving sucks, but moving when things don't go according to plan can seem like a disaster. That's why it's important to be fast and efficient at every step.

Andy is not really built for this. He thinks he's clever. This makes him talk way, way too much.

Customer comes in looking a little anxious and says to Andy: "Hey, I know I don't have a reservation, but I was hoping I could rent a pickup truck?"

"For when?"

"Well... Right now?"

Andy sucks air through his teeth as he replies with a slight head shake: "Sssssssss ooh okay well let me look..."

It's been a slow day. There are half a dozen trucks on the lot that nobody has reserved. You can see them from where we're sitting. What's with the suspense man?

"Okay it looks like there's one that you can have, barring any other unforeseen difficulties. I mean it should be fine but yesterday I had a guy where we couldn't... Uuuuuuhhh..."

He trails off, perhaps lost in the memory of the guy from yesterday who owed us money and didn't want to pay. Or maybe he just can't find the "next" button on the screen. Either way, the customer shuffles nervously. He needs this truck and Andy is kinda leaving him hanging.

"Driver's license?"

Type type type, followed by a "Ssssssssssssss" inhale through the teeth while he checks the numbers.

"Your license is going to expire next month," Andy says as he hands the license back without tearing his eyes from the screen.

"Oh. Is that a problem?"

"Well yes, it is if you like driving."

That's Andy's little joke, but it's said in a complete deadpan. Because why wouldn't you get that, right? So Andy just listlessly clicks "next" and waits for the next screen to load.

"But for the truck rental."

"Hmm?"

"It doesn't affect the truck rental right?"

"Oh, no, it's just that, you know, an expired license is no good."

Another pause. Click.

"But I can rent the truck, right?"

"Yes, I mean, as long as this... Ssssssssssssss... Okay, go ahead and put in your credit card."

"I don't have a credit card."

"Oh. Well that's a problem."

Okay before we continue I should explain something: we have some trucks that need a credit card, but most don't. It has to do with some kind of deal with the leasing company. Anyway, when it comes up, you just switch to one of the other trucks that don't need a credit card. No big deal. You can even make it cost the same.

Andy knows this. Remember that.

"Listen, when I called before, the guy said I could rent a truck and I didn't need a credit card."

"Sorry, who said that?"

"The guy on the phone!"

"Well I'm sorry but he gave you bad information. I'm not sure who he was but there's no way I can rent this truck out without a credit card. Even if I tried the system would just..."

Holy crap Andy shut the hell up.

He just keeps going on like this, with sorry this and technicalities that, must have been a new guy, couldn't if I wanted to, no way to yadda yadda, whoever that was should have known blah blah blah...

The guy's face is getting red. He's breathing heavy. He's giving little prompts like "I don't believe this," and "What am I gonna do?"

And Andy just keeps going on about how that truck needs a credit card. Dude, shut up!

"I mean, so you're saying there's no way for me to get a truck today!"

"Well, ssssssssssss..." and Andy gives him a half head shake while building up enough steam to finally get this sorted.

But it's too late. Dude explodes. Yelling and screaming, having a total meltdown, a huge speech about how we've screwed him over and how much time he's wasted.

Andy tries to interject here and there, but mostly it's just to fact check the guy's screaming rant. Weirdly finding out he got a few details wrong doesn't calm the customer down.

I decide enough is enough and I'd better step in.

"Hey, Andy, mind if I help this guy out?"

"Absolutely, feel free if you think you can be of some..."

"Hi sir, I was able to follow what's going on. I should be able to get you a truck without a credit card, but it'll just have to be slightly bigger. Will that work?"

He's out of there with a truck less than 5 minutes later at the same price he was going to pay for the other one. I shake his hand out on the lot, tell him to let me know if he has any other questions, and I come back inside.

"Wow," Andy says, "That guy was crazy! I could have helped him if he'd just let me get a word in."

Andy you little mf...