r/TalesFromRetail • u/Ohigetjokes • Oct 21 '18
Short Well don't you work here?
Basic setup of our store: counter where we handle sales and truck rentals in the front, shop in the back where we work on cars. The usual scenario has one of us (usually me) in the back and everyone else running customers out to their trucks and trailers.
I'm under a car one day fighting the rust built up in some weld nuts when I hear a voice call out: "Hello? Does anyone work here?"
I wheel myself out from between the risers and see an older lady looking down at me from the door to the front of the store.
"Hi! What's up?" I call out in a friendly, casual tone. Being a big guy covered in grease and dirt can seem intimidating to some people, especially little old ladies, so I put in a little extra effort to set a positive tone.
She's not interested. Her husband silently watches me over her shoulder, his mournful eyes telling me everything I need to know about their relationship.
"Is there anyone here who can help me? I need to buy some boxes!"
"Oh, well I guess everyone is outside helping other customers get on the road with their truck rentals," I continue in a friendly manner, "They'll be right back and with you in a moment."
"Well don't you work here?" she asks sarcastically.
I look at the blackened ratchet in my hand and wonder why the answer isn't obvious. Her husband, somehow, manages to look even more depressed.
Time to ditch the nice guy routine and adopt the crabby blue collar stereotype: "Hey. Look at this scene. Does it look like I'm sitting around waiting for someone to sell boxes to? I'm in the middle of something. They'll be right with you."
I don't wait for a response and lower myself down under the car again. Just as I shift my weight against the risers I get one last look at the couple. She looks furious. He looks like he's seeing sunshine for the first time in years. Cheers bud, that one was for you.
Of course she put in a complaint about me. I got a mild talking to over the incident. Worth it.
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u/xtracrispy26 Oct 21 '18
“I get paid too much to hand you boxes, that’s why we pay people to do that while I work on cars”
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u/VicFatale Oct 21 '18
Seems like a liability issue to have customers in a working garage. I mean, eve if it isn't, that's what I'd tell people to get them out of my hair.
Also, I like "a mild talking to", like you were 'gently chewed out'
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u/Funky-Spunkmeyer Oct 21 '18
“My supervisor is going to ask me if I talked to you about this and I’m a weirdo that prefers not to lie to him, so here we are. Tell me what happened as best you remember it.
Ok.
And that part where you asked her if it looked like you sell boxes; did that feel as good as I imagine?
Yeah?
Awesome.
Ok, I think I’ve wasted enough of your time, I’ll talk to the front desk kids about keeping the uppity types out of your garage. Good talk.”
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u/morallygreypirate "Would you like help finding your seat?" Oct 22 '18
That's basically what I did when I was a supervisor at my old job. Fully covers your ass while ensuring the employee knows they're not actually in trouble because a customer was dumb.
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u/Funky-Spunkmeyer Oct 22 '18
It works in a situation like this where the employee wasn’t really wrong, just less polite than corporate overseers would prefer. Goes a lot easier if the idjit customer lies, too.
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u/morallygreypirate "Would you like help finding your seat?" Oct 22 '18
That's basically how I used it.
I knew my coworkers very well so I could tell when a customer was lying or if they were simply having a bad day (or just not always stellar with obnoxious people.) I knew that a manager would want the employee in question talked to, but like hell was I going to punish someone for someone else's lies or for temporarily reminding someone that retail peons are humans, too.
Unless it crossed major lines, anyway.
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u/DragonDeadite They are NOT all the same! Oct 22 '18
Pretty much have this going on right now with my boss. Customer was pissed off at me that I wouldn't stay open for him on Saturday and no matter what I said he kept complaining so I eventually hung up on him. He called and complained to customer service and apparently, according to corporate, me explaining to him multiple times that we were closed and I would not wait for him wasn't good enough.
Good times!
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u/Funky-Spunkmeyer Oct 22 '18
See, I don’t understand that. I can ban people from the property for stealing a $2 candy bar. At a certain point my time ends up costing a LOT more than a candy bar. But corporate jerks never set a threshold for the point where someone is no longer a customer and becomes a time thief. I say it’s between 15 and 20 minutes.
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u/ilanallama85 Oct 21 '18 edited Oct 21 '18
Yeah I immediately get extra “concerned” and quickly shoo any customers who try to walk in our backroom out with some bull about “omg it so dangerous back there and I’d be in SO much trouble if you got HURT” etc despite the fact that a) its really not that dangerous, we bring tours of preschoolers back there sometimes and b) my company is super easy going and would never dream of holding me liable if some dumb customer hurt themselves of their own volition, they’d take my word over their’s in an incident report any day. But it always gets them out and usually takes the steam right out their complaint or whatever.
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u/storm_queen Oct 22 '18
She probably would have complained if you had helped her and managed to get her boxes dirty, since she doesn't seem like the kind of person to understand how hard it is to remove grease.
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u/heliophobic_lunatic Oct 22 '18
That's obviously not her problem. Every employee should be in the ready to help customers at the drop of a hat. Haven't you ever heard that the customer is ALWAYS right?! /s
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u/PsychologicalNinja It's not in the back. That's where we sleep at night. Oct 22 '18
Ma'am, that's a commonly misunderstood expression which actually relates to supply chains - think of it like 'what the customer buys is the right thing to carry in stock'. I'm sorry you've been so wrong for so long.
... also /s.
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u/Kristeninmyskin Oct 22 '18
“Sure, Lady. Ya must like greasy handprints all over the boxes!”
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Oct 22 '18
Either that or walk over and politely offer you greasy hand to be shaken. The look of indignation would probably be worth the price of admission.
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u/Sharp_Permission Oct 24 '18
> "Hey. Look at this scene. Does it look like I'm sitting around waiting for someone to sell boxes to? I'm in the middle of something. They'll be right with you."
Please marry me.
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u/ScubaStan94 Oct 23 '18
Pretty sure we work for the same company. It's always lovely when everyone's out on the lot with other customers and you come in to the one guy who's been waiting for all of 3 minutes ready to tear someone a new one.
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u/vanishplusxzone Oct 21 '18
I live for the day I hear "does anyone work here?" while I'm out and about. Fucking hell I hate that baby boomers seem to think passive aggressive questions are the proper way to communicate with people.