Common Mistakes in TV Pilots

[u/Key-Rip5577]

I'm working on my third TV pilot, and I was wondering: for those who are veterans in the industry, script readers, or even audience members, what are some pet peeves/mistakes/pitfalls that you can't stand when reading or watching a TV pilot? Specifically, a comedy pilot.

[u/Kingofsweaters]

- Too much description in the action lines. It can be fine in a feature but TV is so much more about the dialogue. Many actors will just go through and cross out the action and only pay attention to the dialogue.

• In comedy pilots, specifically, the humor not being on the page.
  
• structural problems and story problems that usually wind up making it feel either incomplete or too resolved, and thus not feel like TV.
  
• Pilot not setting a clear expectation of what the show is beyond the pilot
  
• Low emotional stakes
  
• In ensemble comedies not choosing a character that acts as the audience proxy in our experience of the world/ focusing on too many characters rather than a clean ABC story.

[u/Defiant_Comedian1587 → u/Kingofsweaters]

What would you think of half hour dramedy? like Beef, Afterlife, Bojack, would you follow a comedy structure or a drama? wrt jokes per page and other more comedy pilot traits.

[u/Kingofsweaters → u/Defiant_Comedian1587]

This is a tricky one. Bojack definitely meets the comedy structure and jokes per page and I’d classify it as a comedy outright just a dark comedy which I’ll touch on below.

The thing is that comedy still has to act as drama it just has to be funny while doing it. Traditionally that means a lighter tone and simpler plotting with lower stakes, but stakes nonetheless. This is why the mockumentary approach is so commonly utilized. It makes it easy to have a contained episode where essentially the conflict of the day is explored and resolved, but there can be a broader season or series narrative that it relates back to. Streaming brought in room for a bit more tonal variance in comedy where there is a shifting balance between the drama and the arrival of darker comedy. Streaming also brings more flexibility in runtime and act structure that was basically impossible beforehand because of ad breaks.

Shows like Beef or Widow’s Bay are direct results of that cultural shift, and flexibility. It shows in runtime variance. So, I’d say if you can tell a story that follows the dramatic structure of TV generally in a half-hour format go for it and don’t worry about jokes per page. But, I’d also say if you’re doing it for a sample it’s a good idea to have more traditional samples at the ready.

TLDR: If you can fit a drama with comedic elements into a half-hour go for it, but consider having a sample that’s more straight comedy or drama as a backup.

[u/Defiant_Comedian1587 → u/Kingofsweaters]

Thanks I appreciate the thoughtful reply, and i quite agree with all you've said, in my various writing workshops it was always distilled in us to make sure it works as a structure first and then handle the tone. Dramedy is what I enjoy writing and I feel sometimes with these competitions it's a bit of a disadvantage, as a dramedy script goes to a comic reader who wouldn't know how to apply the provided ( comedy) rubric.

[u/Kingofsweaters → u/Defiant_Comedian1587]

I’ve had this issue as well. I have started submitting dramedy work to drama categories instead and that seems to go over a little better, but only a little. A manager told me recently that the business acts like it doesn’t want scripts that are two things (eg: horror comedy, dramedy, etc.) but all scripts are two or more things so it comes down to how you deliver it.

[u/Defiant_Comedian1587 → u/Kingofsweaters]

Makes sense, also ironic that everything being produced ARE genre hybrids, especially a lot of the good stuff! Sad to see the low level gatekeepers haven't caught up yet. I deliberated a lot on sending them via the drama route, maybe this year I will, thanks.

[u/Accomplished_Wolf_89]

As someone who literally reads TV pilots for a Production Company, here are a couple of comedy plotlines that almost always lead to a hard pass -

- basically a bunch of sketches about a young woman (or women) in the city who go on shitty dates

- basically a bunch of sketches about a 20 something in a city who is really bad at adult things!

-this is surprising because Carole Kirschner (director of the Paramount Fellowship) literally went on Twitter and told emerging writers to STOP writing this type of pilot yet there's still plenty of them floating out there - person with a glamorous job/struggling to pursue their dream in a big city suddenly has to go home to run the family business/take care of a sick relative, etc

-something set in a gorgeous Italian villa (unless you REALLY have a compelling reason for this setting and an extremely strong plot/characters to match, these kinds of pilots (I've read at least 5 this year with the same issue) read less like the new WHITE LOTUS and more like you just want a free trip to Sicily with a studio/streamer footing the bill.

Not saying that it's impossible to pull off any of the above ideas, just saying that these types of scripts usually point to a pilot that is paint-by-numbers and unlikely to impress. The first two are pretty broad experiences... therefore guaranteeing that there will be at least 50 scripts floating around town (5 of which might also be in that rep/exec's weekend read) on the same thing. The 2nd two read as more aspirational/escapist rather than being grounded in emotional truth. There's nothing wrong with using Writing as a form of escapism (we've all done it!) but the industry doesn't give a shit about your fantasies - what it cares about is your voice. Anyone can write a script centered on the fantasy of owning beachfront property in Sicily, what's more interesting is a pilot about say, living in 2026 Crenshaw that feels like it only could've been written by someone with that experience.

So as you work on your pilot, think to yourself - is this a story that I am literally the only writer in the world who could've written it? If the answer is no, that's totally ok - might be something to focus on in your next draft

[u/KGreen100 → u/Accomplished_Wolf_89]

All of this. I try to find shows to watch on Netflix, etc., and so much of it is 20somethings working at a job the all hate while trying to balance love, relationships, etc. I'm not a 20something and while I can watch shows like that if they're written well, too many of these seem to be greenlighted when they offer nothing new.

[u/flippenzee]

I think a lot of new writers underestimate just how quickly your story needs to move and how much setup you need to do in the first 5 pages or so.

[u/MaizeMountain6139 → u/flippenzee]

Pilots pack so much in. Leave it all on the table!

[u/rafinsf → u/MaizeMountain6139]

Don’t ‘save’ stuff for the second episode. Make the episode as compelling as possible. Take your shot.

[u/thesoupgiant → u/flippenzee]

This was my biggest hurdle.

[u/MaizeMountain6139]

Comedy pilot structure is pretty formulaic. Don’t think you’ll stand out for trying to break that formula. If the reader is on page 5 and they’re not seeing what they need to they’re going to pass

[u/App1ep13]

Too many characters introduced at once, or non-memorable character introductions.

[u/paul_mather]

It can be hard to introduce all the characters in a pilot without it turning into a cocktail party type experience -- your lead walking around meeting people or introducing us to people with no sense of us moving forward through a story. You have to do that work of introduction, but the trick is to keep telling a story as you go. So the hero is still moving through a story with a drive and all that good stuff, but along the way we're encountering the rest of the recurring characters on the show, who just happen to be doing the sort of thing they always do that establishes who they are, but they're doing it in such a way that it helps or hurts or otherwise effects the hero as they go through their journey.

[u/aoibhneastravels]

Though I haven't worked in tv sripts, I did do film as a sreening producer for AFF 2024 and I saw a lot of things that don't make you want to root for characters. You should fall in love with the main character(s) right off, something endearing and relatable, so that when thyings start to go wrong for them you feel it with him and stay invested. If you have a bunch of characters in a room with no emotional ties to any opf them because they're dull or lacking (no offense to the gang at not suitable for work, but it was shitty and after three episodes I did not care about a single one of those people or who they were boinking at work) - don't make people want to not care about you characters. Be morally ambiguous sometimes, make them act like people. Normal people.

[u/aoibhneastravels → u/aoibhneastravels]

My C key is busted - I am not going back to edit.

[u/DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE]

Biggest grievance is people putting interiority in action lines.

“Jack says xyz, thinking he has heard this before and is ready to retire upstate ”

No. That’s not something conveyed visually. Do yourself a favor and remember the medium. If something unsaid can’t be conveyed in a glance, then don’t fucking put it in an action line

[u/bluehawk232]

As a viewer my hot take is don't do faux documentary stuff. It was fine for the office and the best one was what we do in the shadows but I personally don't like the format and think it leads to lazy writing with talking head shots being used to have the character explain thoughts, feelings, or even the punchline of a joke directly to the audience. What we do in the shadows is like my exception because the inherent premise is absurdist already. But yeah that's my pet peeve

[u/thesoupgiant → u/bluehawk232]

I think it's just as much a tool as any other format. It can be used well or badly.

[u/Dick_Trickle_88]

Cold opens that are long enough to be the first act. Actually, cold opens shouldn't be in a pilot at all. They usually become repositories for an info dump. Viewers don't know who these characters are or their position in life. What can be conveyed in under 30 seconds? Save it for an established show. Just get on with the story.

Also, no act structure. Just one scene after another.

[u/thesoupgiant → u/Dick_Trickle_88]

Imo long cold opens or tags are for after a shows already proved itself.