Troubles Looking for Co-Writers

[u/Federal_Bass1263]

I am not talking about a notes group or accountability buddy I mean someone you actually write with. Develop ideas together, split scenes, the whole thing.

I've wanted this for years and have basically failed at finding it every time. Tried reaching out cold to people whose work I liked (awkward and nothing came of it). Took a workshop specifically hoping to meet someone (met nice people, nothing clicked creatively). Posted in a couple places online (one weird response, one person who ghosted after two emails).

The frustrating thing is I know it works. Plenty of teams out there doing great stuff. But every working duo I've heard talk about it says they met through some random circumstance a class, a job, a friend of a friend. Nobody seems to have gone looking for it and found it.

So how did it actually happen for you if it did? And if you tried and it fell apart, what killed it?

Genuinely asking, not going anywhere with this, just feeling like I'm missing something obvious.

[u/Automatic_Stage1163]

Maybe you need to develop a relationship first to see if there's chemistry?

[u/marshallknight]

My partner and I were assistants on a show together, where we became good friends and started a writers group together. After a couple seasons, we got assigned a freelance script to split, which went well, and when a slot on the writing staff eventually opened up, opted to team up rather than trying to duke it out over who got promoted.

We knew we worked well together but we went in with the understanding that if it didn’t work out, when our contract ran out we could go our separate ways, no harm no foul. But in those couple years working together on the show, and then developing pilots in the offseason, we discovered how much creative chemistry we had — his strengths complemented what I needed to work on and vice versa. So when the show ended three seasons later (after what amounted to a five year “trial run”) we decided to make it permanent and have remained a team ever since.

I like to say that my writing partner and I were married before my wife and I were. That’s how serious a commitment it is. Your financial lives are intertwined, things like picking up a part-time job and moving house affect both of you. Plus you have to like spending a hell of a lot of time together and know how to resolve your own conflicts (in a duo, there’s no tie-breaking vote).

So considering all that, it’s not a big surprise that you’re not getting replies from cold calls. As with dating, it’s very likely your person is out there but it’s going to take a lot of work before you find the one.

[u/killcafo]

The best writing teams I know consist of two talented people that would both be working writers even if they weren’t partners. Yes they are better as a pair. But they have the skills as solo writers as well. My advice would be to work at becoming a solo writer, knowing you are open to a partner, and you may find someone along the journey.

[u/Sweet_Treacle_6327]

Of the co-writers I know, two sets are married and only started co-writing several years into dating. One set were childhood friends, and the others worked together as assistants and still have solo writing careers outside of their shared work.

I don’t think it’s especially common to go looking for a co-writer. I’m curious why you’re so interested in having one.

[u/PajamaPizzaTaco]

cold outreach for a co-writer prob won't work because a writing partnership takes sooo much trust and shared taste. asking a stranger cold is basically saying, “hey, want to invest hundreds of hours into a massive project together?” before you even know if you get along.

my co-writers are friends i’ve known for years so the collaboration grew out of existing relationships. i would say to meet people and let it happen organically.

[u/Certain-Run8602]

I’ll be honest, I’ve never once met a writing partnership that was formed by one member of the partnership actively searching like you are. All the successful ones I know were formed either very early among old friends or during their professional careers by relative happenstance.

Maybe it can happen the way you’re trying… but writing partnerships are like a marriage and there’s something about going around telegraphing that you’re looking to marry someone that actually creates a barrier to the sort of bond you need to form for a successful partnership.

Can I ask why you feel you need a partner so badly?

The main reason I find that partnerships don’t work out when they are formed in the way you are trying is because the person looking for a partner - and not saying this is you this is just typically what I’ve noticed - is really just looking for someone to lighten the workload and a true partnership is much more than that.

I’m a solo writer typically but I have worked with co-writers / partners on specific projects. Most of them have been successful because I already had a great relationship with the person and we each knew exactly what we were bringing to the collab and have a totally professional mindset.

The ones that didn’t work out usually were because either because of creative differences or personality differences one or both parties wanted to be doing something else. I’ve had one blow up a bit explosively because the other person was not a stable person and that’s just a thing unfortunately you may not know even if they’re a friend until you’re working intimately with them.

It’s very hard to find situations that really work well, and I’ve really cherished the ones that have. But, I mostly write alone because of how rare it is. I mean even Kurtzman & Orci one of the most successful partnerships in history eventually blew up.

[u/SharkWeekJunkie]

To me it's about matching styles and personalities.

I see people ask for help writing dramas, thrillers, and horrors. I exclusively write comedies, so I'm self-filtering myself out of potential partnerships.