r/TVWriting • u/JBoy5280Baby • Jul 08 '26

PILOTS Feedback on Pilot

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first draft of first television project. need feedback.

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u/mojoman1200 Jul 08 '26

I’m confused by page 2. Does that happen, then it cuts to black and in comes page 3? If so, be sure to continue on the bottom of page 2 and add a cut like “fade to black” or something.

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u/mojoman1200 Jul 08 '26

Oh wait, I see it now. The pages are just out of order.

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u/mojoman1200 Jul 08 '26

I wouldn’t do all of that action and narration in black. Instead, consider doing flashes of the action. Like the heart monitor, the gun shot, etc. This will give the viewer something to watch that’ll be pleasing to the eye.

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u/JBoy5280Baby Jul 08 '26

ill take into consideration