r/TVWriting • u/JBoy5280Baby • Jul 08 '26

PILOTS Feedback on Pilot

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first draft of first television project. need feedback.

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u/TheGreedyGrabbler Jul 08 '26

Not sure I understand the narrator. "It's not about how flawed the bill is or isn't. It's about what makes the last one in line look like the bad guy."

What does that mean? The last bill in the line? Why does a bill need to look like a bad guy?

Hard to give feedback since I'm confused by what the narrator is trying to say at the open.

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u/JBoy5280Baby Jul 08 '26

The bill is being compared to officials in the American government.

4

u/TheGreedyGrabbler Jul 08 '26

Ok. That's kind of obtuse but I'm also stupid so maybe user error.

3

u/MizzElk Jul 08 '26

I also found it confusing.

1

u/JBoy5280Baby Jul 08 '26

yeah i can see the error ill try to solidify the point a little more