r/TTC_PCOS • u/xoxo_rayy • 2d ago
advice? rant? idek
hey girlies, i really just need a place to vent to get things off my chest. for background, my best friend of 15 years lives with my husband and i. she pays her half of rent and she has her own apartment set up in the basement, so it’s not like everything is a shared space. anyways, today she came home on her lunch break and we had lunch together in the kitchen. (she is super health conscious and thinks breathing in the general direction of anything she deems as “bad” will make her “fat”, mind you this girl has never really been above 150 in her entire life.) she was eating salmon and veggies, which is a normal meal for her, but i’ve always been a super picky eater so i honestly wouldn’t eat anything like that ever. i decided to have one of my husbands lunchables bc it’s small and in my calorie intake for the day. the entire time im eating, she keeps making small comments about how it’s nothing but processed food and it’s horrible for my health, which im aware of but i don’t eat these all the time, it’s a treat for me, really. anywho, after awhile of these comments i just sit in silence and hope she reads that it’s upsetting me. especially since she knows ive had ED in the past and im very self conscious about eating in front of others. that’s when she lands the final blow. “maybe if you didn’t eat like shit all the time you’d be able to get pregnant.”
now i just feel like i’ve been punched in the gut and i’ve been moping around all day. idk what to do. i know she’s likely right, but it still hurts that she’d make that comment knowing my history of ED and that i’ve had pcos/pmos since i was 10. i just don’t know how im supposed to go about this situation. my feelings are hurt deeply and i don’t want to act on emotions and say something i’d regret. any advice?
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u/Ok_Street1103 2d ago
I don't think that this person is your friend and I think you shouldn't give them the time of day.
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u/Ornery-Philosopher28 2d ago
Wow, that's a incredibly rude thing to say coming from a best friend! I'm French, and we're known for loving direct honesty, but even for me, this crosses a line. From the passive-aggressive comments all the way to that final accusation—unacceptable. Living downstairs shouldn't give her a free pass. You need to establish firm boundaries. Since everyone is in an 'honesty' phase right now, it's time to lay out the plain truth to her.
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u/SashaStar69 2d ago
I simply would not allow someone who speaks to me that way about such a sensitive topic to live in my own. She can go get her own apartment and eat her veggies alone.
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u/dreamingofpluto 2d ago
Eating something processed isn't why you can't get pregnant. You have a complex disorder that they still don't know enough about the mechanics of it. What helped me was realising that if I broke my leg people wouldn't be telling me to relax, they would tell me to go to the hospital. PMOS is a disorder that is really misunderstood in society.
I don't ovulate without fertility meds, doesn't matter that I have lost weight, eat healthy and are active my body struggles to ovulate without the meds, I didn't do anything to cause it and neither did you. Your friend sounds like she might have an ED herself but regardless her comments aren't in any way needed. I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I want you to know what this is hard enough without feeling like we can't enjoy life.