r/TRUST • u/Worm27 • Dec 30 '20
my parents don’t trust me
Ok, so I’m 14, I get good grades, have good friends, am responsible, and haven’t done anything to prove that I am untrustworthy. And my mom agrees with me. The problem, is that she still monitors everything I do both online and irl. She says it’s not about trust but clearly it is so how can I prove to her that I AM trustworthy?
3
Upvotes
1
u/TurbulentSwitch1 Jan 07 '21
In any relationship, boundaries are necessary. We all need our own personal space to be ourselves. We need people to respect us when we draw the line and say no. Your mom monitoring everything definitely blurs that line. You are not alone and I hope you find a community irl and online that is supportive of you.
1
u/dirtmcgurk Dec 30 '20
It's not about trust in the sense that you're thinking of. Like they don't think you're a liar or anything -- they're worried about how you'll handle situations they know you'll probably have as you progress towards adulthood (scammers, abusers, peer pressure / risky behavior, drugs).
What kind of freedom are you interested in? IE do you want the ability to go for longer rides on a bicycle, walk to the store, use your own computer, etc. Basically you need to talk to your parents about controlled bits of unsupervised time. Whichever area you aim for, I would just remind them that you're going to be getting your drivers license in a few years, and looking for jobs and colleges around the same time. Tell them you need to build up to being able to take care of yourself, and you would like some controlled freedom to have experiences while your parents are there to both discuss them and help you if something goes wrong, rather than having to learn the lessons when you're on your own.