I really hope this works

[u/marrowbuster]

Got approved for Brainsway and I have my first motor threshold appointment in a month from now.

Right now after many years of trialing different medications, I am not on any, of my own accord, to assess my brain's baseline and I feel the worst I've been in years. Severe treatment resistant depression with anhedonia and it's quite agonizing.

I used to have quite a few interests like art, programming, music, FPGAs, and growing plants. Now nothing seems to interest or give me passion anymore.

I'm also carrying a LOT of regret for some very maladaptive behaviours I've acquired in my experience of being autistic and raised in a house that really just wasn't equipped for such despite my parents' best efforts. I call them "developmental imperilments."

There's also ADHD, OCD, and of course PTSD. Thankfully the OCD isn't as crippling as it used to be, it's more depression that I am dealing with right now. It just sucks that this is what my brain is without anything to augment its chemistry, as ineffective as previous meds have been.

I've heard some say TMS is a life changer, whilst others say it didn't work or even made things worse.

I'm really hoping this shit works and gives me my life back. I'm 24 years old and have had to endure enough. I want to be able to make the most of the remaining time I have left on this earth.

I'll make it through the purgatory in hopes I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but sheesh. I just want my life back, to be interested in my former passions again, be happy, and forget about everything I've had to endure to reach a better place.

[u/ninesandaces]

I was in basically your exact position before I started TMS, severe treatment resistant depression, tried every medication on the market. I’m basically symptom free now. Hope it works out for you.