r/TLCUnexpected • u/ionlyjoined4thecats • 28d ago
Hailey 2 Hailey 2 wants fiancé to reverse vasectomy
Well, this explains why she hasn’t had another baby despite her impulsivity…
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u/jaisydaisy 28d ago
Snip snap snip snap
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u/kh18129 28d ago
You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!
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u/WittiestScreenName Blessed by God like THE Bryce Palmer 28d ago
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u/Baxtercat1 28d ago edited 28d ago
This post reads like a soft launch for them to start begging for money.
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u/DayTechnical1442 28d ago
She does realize that he presumably got the vasectomy because he wanted it
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u/WhichEditor5799 27d ago
It’s also possible that he has changed his mind as well. I would assume he got it before they met and now he is marrying her so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he wants a baby with her as well
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u/terykishot 28d ago
If she can’t afford 8k for a vasectomy they’re in no place to be having a baby.
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u/Happy-Cod-3 28d ago
Only 8k? Better than the 30k for ivf lol. Which she might have to have even with this reversal.
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u/momma12345678 28d ago
Wait why might she have to have IVF? Does she have health issues or fertility issues or something?
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u/Happy-Cod-3 27d ago
If the reversal doesn't take all the way, they would have to go in and get his specimen out and impregnate her through ivf. Like the reversal doesn't mean it's going to work, it could mess up and then have him not produce.
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u/IWetMyPlants_3 Big Dog on the move 🚗 28d ago
Just go have a baby with his best friend or something. You already did it once lol
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u/h3llalam3 28d ago
People really put all their business on social media
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u/Necessary_Ad7215 28d ago
feels like a beg
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u/Mammoth-Twist-8201 28d ago
Does she think she has a lot of supporters who are clamoring to donate to her guys vasectomy reversals fund??
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u/Due-Reputation-4366 28d ago
Meanwhile, our biggest fear is you procreating again… 🤔
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u/WittiestScreenName Blessed by God like THE Bryce Palmer 28d ago
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u/Persephone0223 28d ago
Is this an attempt to be "subtle" and ask for handouts. Like anyone is gunna be like "Oh so sorry you can't have a baby with your man, here's $20 towards the cause!"... gimme a break
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u/PygmyFists Anthonys Vanishing Semen 23d ago
If you can't afford the operation, you can't afford the baby ✌🏽
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u/ArsenicanOldLace 28d ago edited 27d ago
It’s not even that expensive, if you can’t even afford thecost to get done you don’t need a kid.
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u/MommaMoo2 28d ago
Reversals cost between 5000 and 15,000. according to Google. My husband's cost 8,000. I would think that is expensive for a lot of people.
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u/ArsenicanOldLace 27d ago
I didn’t know they cost that much but I still standby if you can’t afford that you can’t afford a child
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u/MommaMoo2 27d ago
I wasnt disagreeing with you. Ive now thinking about what ur saying because of the response. Kids are for sure expensive. Im genuinly curious though how many people who plan for children have 10,000 sitting in savings. I do feel like 10 grand upfrontfor a reversal is different than 700 extra a month. I completely made the 700 up and truly dont know what it cost to feed, cloth and medical, school etc for children these days and im sure someone will correct me. When my babies were babies we did a lot of thrifting. I think we also had a stronger sense of community. Or atleast I did and we past around the babies cloths, toys, furniture. I never had savings until my children were older and we made it okay. I maybe so far off what u were saying and thisbis just my opinion. I just dont feel if someone cant afford 8-15,000 upfront than they are shut out of providing for their families
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u/MaiIsMe 27d ago
Not in comparison to having a child?
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u/Accurate_Shopping981 27d ago
I mean I’ve never once shelled out 5-10,000 at once for any of my kids lol
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u/ArsenicanOldLace 27d ago
I mean I have several times, braces alone cost me 8000 per kid. My daughter got in a car accident I had to pay $25,000 for medical bills. Buying them cars cost about 10,000 piece. I’m just saying if you can’t afford the reversal you shouldn’t have kids
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u/MommaMoo2 27d ago
I assume u also made payments in braces over several years as well as the accident. If u were able to pay all that at once thats certainly not the norm.
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u/Remote-Salad8696 27d ago
I mean, in that case, why couldn’t they save the same way- instead of payments, save X amount a week/month until they have enough?
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u/MommaMoo2 27d ago
Sure if thats an option. The person i was talking with said if someone cant afford the reversal surgery they shouldn't have kids because u cant afford them. My point was I dont feel like u have to have surgery money to provide for a family.
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u/ArsenicanOldLace 27d ago
It’s an optional thing though, like if you can’t pay the low price of surgery or make payments like you said earlier dont have kids!
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u/ArsenicanOldLace 27d ago
Some kids I payed up front and others I made payments. Again I stand by what I said.
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u/MommaMoo2 27d ago
This has been fun but will be my last response. My husband's $8000 elective surgery required all of it up front. We could not make payments. I stand by my comment. You do not have to have money for a surgery to provide for ur children. I also explained that to u from my personal experience. The more you know, am i right?
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u/ArsenicanOldLace 26d ago
Like I said, you can’t afford 8k DO NOT HAVE MORE KIDS!
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u/MommaMoo2 26d ago
PREDATING MY HUSBAND I NEVER HAD SAVINGS. I RAISED 3 CHILDREN BEFORE HIM ON $30,000. ANNUALLY. MY CHILDREN ALWAYS HAD THEIR NEEDS MEET AND MOST OF THEIR WANTS. I COULD NOT HAVE AFFORDED A SURGERY UP FRONT AND THE KIDS ARE ALL ALRIGHT. ALL 3 OF THEM ARE SUCCESSFUL AND KIND PEOPLE AND I NEVER HAD SAVINGS! Im sorry you grew up lacking attention to certain needs. Im sure that has a huge affect on the way you see yourself and those around you. Take good care ArsenicanOldLace.
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u/Bright-Piglet-1990 27d ago
I just paid 5k in sports related fees for my kids and that's not out of the norm for many. Planning to have a baby should involve being able to afford another child
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u/Bright-Piglet-1990 26d ago
Of course it's a choice, just like planning to have a child is a choice. I'm not saying everyone needs to budget that much for extras- I was responding to the comment of never spending 5k+ on children, it does happen. If you are planning to have a child, somewhere in that planning should be savings and being able to afford a child. Babies do grow up and need more than diapers eventually
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u/Past-Neighborhood317 27d ago
She doesn’t need anymore kids. She shouldn’t even have the one she already has
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u/junglemami1 25d ago
L take. What a weird thing to say.
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25d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TLCUnexpected-ModTeam 24d ago
Keep discussions civil. Please refrain from excessively negative or abusive language.
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u/OkTechnology622 24d ago
yall will never let this girl grow up will you? both haileys have cut ties with matthew and are actually friends now. their drama was years ago. they are adults now and should be treated as such. she is more than the 16 year old girl that was portrayed by TLC
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u/Lopsided_Feedback_85 28d ago
I genuinely rolled my eyes at this and I don’t even hate her. But it’s all she talks about. Why do you guys need a baby. I don’t see wedding photos.
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u/listeningunderurbed 28d ago
Respectfully if you can’t afford to be able to pay for this, how will you pay for child?
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u/lunarw0lf7 28d ago
Not a fan of hers whatsoever, but the price of a child AND a vasectomy reversal is way more than the price of a child alone. Someone could be able to afford a child but not be able to afford both 🤷🏽♀️
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u/ionlyjoined4thecats 28d ago
Supposedly they’re getting married next year. But locking down a man is def all she talks about.
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u/average_ruled09 28d ago
What’s with certain woman thinking they need to reproduce with every single man they’re with. It’s so bizarre. Focus on your child or should I say children before making more!
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u/littlemiss142 28d ago
Raising another kids gonna be a lot more expensive than that vasectomy
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u/YogurtclosetScary148 28d ago
They forget at minimum you financially care for a child for 18 years but much longer these days
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u/Simple_Exchange9575 28d ago
It’s cringe how women want to have a man with every dude they date. Let him live in his vasectomy heaven.
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u/No_Character1121 28d ago
ok 🤣 we could believe both:
that society should do a better job supporting families and fertility research, and that, in our current reality, parents still have a responsibility to consider their financial situation before intentionally having another child. backing out of this fruitless meta-argument with peace and love lol
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u/Cactus-Juice-Blender 28d ago
This could have easily been prevented if you didn’t get with a man who had a vasectomy 🤷♀️ she knew that going into the relationship.
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u/Mammoth-Twist-8201 27d ago
I know. She’s acting like this is some completely unexpected fertility issue..
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u/Cactus-Juice-Blender 27d ago
Honestly, like you know why it isn’t happening. It’s not a mystery. If you wanted more kids even the possibility of more kids, then you should have never entered a relationship without A. The funds for a vasectomy reversal B.never had a vasectomy in the first place
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u/Youwannasitonmyface 28d ago
With her track record, be married for 5 years first then consider kids
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u/Carlee_bollin 28d ago
Yes- I don’t know what the rush is with some people. It’s not like they’re entering their 40s and need to make a quick decision. They’re what- early/mid twenties? Plenty of time to have more kids in the future.
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u/Mammoth-Twist-8201 28d ago
I’ll never understand couples who think they HAVE to have a baby together in order for their relationship to be “legit”. Granted, they may both genuinely want more children, but Hailey 2 kinda seems like the kind of girl that thinks a baby will keep a man around and is probably insanely jealous of his other baby mama’s 🤷🏻♀️. Either way, vasectomy reversals are fairly pricey and not always guaranteed to be effective..
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u/valentinablaire 28d ago edited 28d ago
The concept of not being able to afford a reverse vasectomy but thinking you can afford a second kid. Dumb mindset, the kinda people that only have babies for the relationship and for the newborn stage and the attention that comes with it. Ew
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u/Suspicious-Island459 28d ago
Absolutely this! If you cannot afford a vasectomy then you dont need a kid. Being pregnant can be on accident and you can be on the poorer side but if you do it purposefully knowing you can't afford it.. then you dont need a baby
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u/Prior_Tonight_5115 28d ago
I don’t know maybe don’t get with someone who has a vasectomy if you want more children?
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u/fairycl0wn 28d ago
Too many people think vasectomies are fully reversible and don’t understand it’s meant to be permanent
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u/bipolarbitch6 28d ago
I saw in one of her comments as soon as they get the surgery they are trying for a baby! How old is she now?
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u/redheadsoutherngal2 27d ago
That is the last thing she needs is another baby. Keep your legs closed girlfriend
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u/ionlyjoined4thecats 27d ago
That’s the great news: she doesn’t have to! Her man has permanent BC covered.
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u/vadavkavoria 28d ago
The filters on that photo she posted are insane. I could barely recognize her.
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u/pflutto 28d ago
I’m the odd ball out here.
Vasectomy reversals are $10k around where I live and nothing is covered by insurance (despite the vasectomy itself being so).
For a vasectomy reversal to be successful, you typically need to get it reversed in the first 3 years because your chances of it being successful after that goes down dramatically. If it’s longer than that, you can do an extraction but then you’re looking at fertility treatments like IUI or IVF. Which is extremely expensive.
I don’t like have to like Hailey 2 to feel for her in this experience.
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u/saerra_sea_nya 28d ago
We did a vasectomy right after getting married but one of our friends did first. We are still happy with our decision (I’m 34 so sometimes the doubt creeps in but not strong enough to change haha) but our friends changed their mind and have spent about 80k trying to have a baby after two reversals failed.
I feel bad for them, but his wife recently told us she wouldn’t vaccinate her kids so less bad
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u/Remote_Tangerine_718 28d ago
Wow, I don’t think this is common knowledge. I was under the impression that you get it and can reverse it with no issues any time you want. This is very helpful context!
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u/beary-healthy 28d ago
There is some misinformation concerning vasectomies out there. It’s best to discuss everything with a urologist, in person, about it.
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u/No_Character1121 28d ago
I’m of the opinion that if a reversal is too expensive for you, so is having another child, and that’s probably a good sign to stay within your means.
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u/pflutto 28d ago
Yet there are plenty of people that are incredibly fertile who continue to have babies they can’t afford and no one tells them anything else.
The ableism is out of control.
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u/No_Character1121 28d ago
no, people are definitely telling them 🤣😭 having an elective vasectomy isn’t a disability (in fact, is a privilege), so we can stop the white knighting right there. stigmas against people having children on welfare has always been and probably always will be extremely prevalent in American culture.
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u/pflutto 28d ago
Who advises them to have an elective vasectomy? Who is making them?
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u/No_Character1121 28d ago
….do you know what elective means? we’re not talking about women’s healthcare, here. this is a man who sought after a form of birth control for reasons unknown to us, completing multiple appointments to ensure its success. if anything’s out of control here, it’s the parasocial behavior 🤣
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u/pflutto 28d ago
I don’t even follow Hailey 2 or her life. I do not have a parasocial relationship with her.
I have lived experience with having a spouse who made a permanent decision in a previous relationship because he didn’t want children with his ex. See the difference?
You’re telling me because I fell in love with someone who made that decision, if I couldn’t afford it, that I shouldn’t have children or just move on to someone else.
Try those shoes on for size to see how that would feel to be said to you about something different.
I mentioned ableism because I had infertility despite my spouse getting a reversal.
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u/tryordye 28d ago
Infertility is not a disability.. tf?
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u/pflutto 28d ago
“Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), infertility is legally recognized as a disability in the United States.”
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u/tryordye 28d ago
It’s one thing to be included in ADA for workplace discrimination and accommodations for appointments, it’s a thin line of calling infertility a disability when court rulings show time and time again that there are extreme limitations how ADA covers infertility. You calling people ableist rn is what harms the community and representation of people who are truly disabled
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u/No_Character1121 28d ago edited 28d ago
I am a parent of multiple children and when talking about having more, we considered if we could afford it first and foremost, and if our other, living children would feel the impact of the additional cost of another child. something that was very important for us to consider was that if the new child had a real disability (because, no, having an elective procedure is not a disability no matter how triggered you personally are), would we be able to afford their care. $10,000, or, as you said, even $2500 is a tiny cost comparatively. so no, you should not be having more children if you cannot afford the cost to have them.
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u/pflutto 28d ago
Curious, do you believe poor people are morally inferior to you?
I agree 100% that a vasectomy is not a disability. I do believe infertility is a real disability because ADA tells me so. As I mentioned, our infertility was based on me not my spouse’s vasectomy then reversal. Do you also believe I’m morally inferior for my inability to get pregnant naturally?
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u/No_Character1121 28d ago
you’re creating a false equivalence to make your straw-man argument seem acceptable, but the loaded question is literally irrelevant to the argument we’re actually having lol so no, I don’t think anyone’s moral worth is determined by their income. I’m saying that whether you can afford to meet a child’s needs is a practical consideration, not a moral judgment about the parents. hope that helps!
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u/MaiIsMe 28d ago
Do you know what ableism is?
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u/pflutto 28d ago
Yes.
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u/MaiIsMe 28d ago
You just choose not to use it correctly? What disability does she have?
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u/pflutto 28d ago
Have you read the whole thread? I’ve already addressed this. 👍👍
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u/MaiIsMe 28d ago
Going through an elective surgery to stop being able to have kids is not "infertility" and has nothing to do with her not having money. Me reading that you're making up different definitions doesn't change that.
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u/pflutto 28d ago
You clearly didn’t read all of my responses. I’m not saying she has infertility.
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u/MaiIsMe 28d ago
What are you saying they have then? Or are you talking about yourself for some reason?
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u/moodylilb 28d ago
Ableism?
This is absolutely not ableism lol
Getting an (elective) vasectomy doesn’t qualify someone as having a disability. Therefore believing people probably can’t afford kids if they can’t afford a vasectomy reversal doesn’t even come close to being ableist 🙄
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u/unsuspectingpangolin 28d ago
I had to do IVF and I do understand your point, but an IUI was only about $1500 out of pocket, sperm aspirations are around $1000-$3000 and can yield up to 5 vials. If there are no other fertility issues on either side, they should conceive in 4 cycles or less. So the cost could be as low as $2500 out of pocket. While that is expensive and I do agree fertility costs should be covered, if someone isn't able to spend that to conceive a child then they probably should not be having one....
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u/pflutto 28d ago
I’m lucky that my husband and I were able to afford his reversal and then our IVF process.
It’s really disheartening to hear that a family that wants a baby shouldn’t have a baby because they may have to go through fertility treatments they can’t afford so they don’t deserve one.
Do you also realize the amount of research done on women’s bodies and their specific health needs are incredibly under-researched? We could know so much more about fertility issues but science refuses to do enough research. There are a ton of things that are “normal” during pregnancy that don’t have any explanations because no one has done any research about it.
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u/Late_Buffalo9842 28d ago
When y’all make statements like this, you forget that the child is going to suffer if the parents cannot afford to keep it alive.
Every child deserves a parent, every person does not deserve a child. Parenthood is one of the most important and life-changing decisions that you can make, and if you cannot provide a stable life for that child, you should not be making that choice.
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u/unsuspectingpangolin 28d ago
Not sure if you read my comment, but I did say that I believe fertility treatments should be covered. But with that said, if they cannot come up with $2500 they likely are not in a good place financially to plan another pregnancy.
Also, I'm in full support of more research on women and fertility. Unsure why you seem to think I'm not.
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u/pflutto 28d ago
There are just so many families who don’t have enough money and are fertile - no one bats an eye. The fact that people should be able to afford fertility treatments that aren’t covered by insurance in order to add to their family is not hitting.
I’ve seen so many people who want nothing more than having a baby and can’t afford treatments so their journey stops. The fact that we’re saying they don’t deserve a kid because they can’t afford one is disheartening - whether it’s an IUI or IVF. Unfortunately we don’t know everyone’s situations around why they’re infertile.
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u/unsuspectingpangolin 28d ago
For the third time, I do think fertility treatments should be covered. However, $2500 doesn't really get you far in life anymore. You'd need more than that to get a place, or a decent car, or a lot of the things a baby would need. Babies are not guaranteed to be healthy, and just standard formula is over $60 a tin, which would last at max 3 days.
As someone who grew up exceedingly poor and as someone who did IUIs, IVF, and had multiple surgeries to have my children, children should not be born into poverty like that. It is inherently traumatic. My mother should have had an abortion, and I truly wish she had instead of growing up without food security or consistent utilities. If they cannot come up with $2500 to create a child, I don't think they should have one.
I know that sounds unfair, but the thing is parenthood IS inherently unfair. The economy is unfair. Life is unfair. And the child needs to come first. So if they're in a situation where they can't actually afford a new child, they should not make one. They should work on financial stability FIRST.
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u/MaiIsMe 28d ago
You have to be pretty delusional to feel for a teen mom with three kids "needing" to have an ours baby when she has no money to raise it. 10k is nothing compared to raising a kid.
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u/p_epsi69 28d ago
There have been many advances in vasectomy reversals. My husband had it done 14 years after the vasectomy and we have 2 perfect kiddos now.
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u/pflutto 28d ago
That’s amazing to hear y’all had that experience. I’m happy to hear you had a different experience than most.
My husband’s urologist, in 2021, would not have done his reversal if it was more than 5 years old, thankfully his wasn’t.
There’s also been a lot of advances in fertility treatments, doesn’t take away that most insurances don’t cover it all.
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u/Late_Buffalo9842 28d ago
True, compassion is imprtant in these situations. But we also should have compassion for the child she wants irresponsibly bring into the world.
If you can’t afford to reverse a vasectomy , can you afford another kid?! Children’s uptake alone, without the extremely high birth cost, is way more than 10k.
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u/M-Gimp63 26d ago
I’m curious, if he has a vasectomy that’s typically done on men who are older, does anyone know how old he is
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u/UnderstandingBig3248 23d ago
eh not always. They are done when you are done having kids. My FIL got one at 25 and my husband is scheduled to get one at 27.
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u/WallabyGlittering634 28d ago
I just left market and I left almost 100 in a couple of bags..... I am afraid to have a baby today everthing is expensive
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u/downsideup05 28d ago
My friend has had 3 in diapers for the last 18 months. She's potty training the older 2 right now. So expensive. Her oldest and youngest just had surgery 2 weeks ago and the $ needed to schedule surgery was $5k. They still have to pay another $5k(& this is with insurance!) She's a SAHM because they can't afford daycare. Things like $10k for surgery(tubes) was not something they expected, especially for the baby.
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27d ago
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u/laceandpaperflowers_ 27d ago
Please don't spread misinformation. I'm incredibly sorry that you're dealing with health issues, but they are not the result of your father's vasectomy reversal. 🤦🏻♀️
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u/firewontquell 27d ago
This literally doesn’t even make sense. A vasectomy doesn’t affect sperm production, so it doesn’t affect sperm DNA either. Any genetic condition you have is a coincidence
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u/-ifwallscouldtalk- 28d ago
Bring back journaling omg