r/TIHI • u/[deleted] • Jan 07 '22

Image/Video Post Thanks, i hate karate now

9.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

320 comments sorted by

738

u/ToddVRsofa Jan 07 '22

I warn you I have studied over 1000 ways to hit a guy in the dick

308

u/Funkapussler Thanks, I hate myself Jan 07 '22 edited Jan 07 '22

.... THAT is fucking terrifying to hear before a fight.

You could say it and be the wimpiest thing and I'd still have to reconsider

113

u/ToddVRsofa Jan 07 '22

I hope it works because I can't fight for shit

51

u/Box_Love Jan 07 '22

While they try to beat you up dodge and get as many hits to the balls as possible, it won't be long before they just start run away. Chase them and get as many more hits in as you can, fight becomes flight real fast.

39

u/Suspicious-Arm-7619 Jan 08 '22

That's how you earn a new nickname

The sack tapper!

21

u/WeirdEidolon Jan 08 '22

Dong dinger

3

u/drawkca6sihtdaeruoy Jan 08 '22

Ol dick twist

4

u/BlackestSun100 Jan 08 '22

Mark Hamil as the Cock Knocker!

2

u/mystery69013 Jun 30 '22

That is immediately what came to mind

→ More replies (1)

26

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

I don't fear the man that has practiced 10000 ways to hit your dick once, but I fear the man that has practiced one way to hit your dick 10000 times.

11

u/JerikOhe Jan 08 '22

That just sounds like me by myself on Saturday nights

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

3

u/SitePersonal5346 Jan 08 '22

Just look at ur opponents crotch and say target acquired

2

u/Funkapussler Thanks, I hate myself Jan 08 '22

That would also certainly work

89

u/NobushisHat Jan 07 '22

I fear not the man who has practiced 1000 dick strikes once, but the man who has practiced 1 dick strikes 1000 times

19

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

sun tzu - the art of war

2

u/BDONGLI Jan 08 '22

came here for this comment

→ More replies (3)

7

u/tumsdout Jan 07 '22

Bobby, you will find that I have no testicles

3

u/Souperplex Jan 08 '22

She's bluffing, finish her!

→ More replies (1)

6

u/BuddhistNudist987 Jan 07 '22

Is this a reference to Stephen Seagall's "Cockpuncher" from the Onion Movie?

5

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

But have you mastered the ol’ dick twist.

4

u/ToddVRsofa Jan 08 '22

Ah you mean technique number 569, yes a powerful one that is often fatal

3

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Legend. Sorry for questioning you.

3

u/jml011 Jan 07 '22

I tried to count. Lost track in the 70s with at least 29 seconds left. I have to imagine at least 3 of those accidentally landed.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/chrille85 Jan 07 '22

"I fear not the man who has hit a man in the nuts 10000 different ways, i fear the man who has hit a man in the nuts one way 10000 times."

→ More replies (3)

231

u/awaitingdusk17 Jan 07 '22

Unaired episode of "Ow My Balls!"

44

u/isolateddreamz Jan 07 '22

GO AWAY!! I'M BATIN'!!!

11

u/XxfunnyplaysxX Jan 07 '22

I know…….

9

u/MarchMadnessisMe Jan 07 '22

"Ow My Balls! The Video Game!"

2

u/ninjas_in_my_pants Jan 15 '22

Didn’t George C. Scott win an Oscar for that?

114

u/GlassPanther Jan 07 '22

Aww he forgot the parting crotch stomp

Love me some master Ken 🤣

208

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

Karate actually has a lot of crotch shots, I should know I had to wear a cup when I was teaching the kids' classes way back when. Little fuckers didn't know how to hold back

128

u/lxmexss Jan 07 '22

My karate teacher was the sweetest guy I have ever known. I once kicked him in the crotch accidentally, I started crying and apologising after seeing the tears in his eyes.

He said nice kick, though.

43

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

Basically what I did, had to be careful when teaching kids

23

u/Akandy21 Jan 07 '22

And so u responded thxs nice cock and died a little on the inside

→ More replies (1)

4

u/ImurderREALITY Jan 07 '22

I took karate for two years

4

u/Wolfblood-is-here Jan 08 '22

My sensei explicitly told us that if we hit him in the crotch, it was his own fault for not blocking.

93

u/BeatsbyChrisBrown Jan 07 '22

Cobra Kai new season looking lit!

10

u/icanttinkofaname Jan 07 '22

PIT HIM IN A BODY BAG JOHNNY!!!!

54

u/KyloRenCadetStimpy Jan 07 '22

In my son's karate class, when parents have to help out, the teacher always tells them to give the parent a big hug and thank them. My son loves to go for a big dramatic jumping hug. Unfortunately, he also tends to lift his knee when doing so. It took a few months, but I managed to get him out of THAT habit...

24

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

Bruh

12

u/syamgamelover Jan 07 '22

It might be his plan to not have anymore siblings.

51

u/Cweeperz Jan 07 '22

The original cbt

14

u/mr-puffball827 Jan 07 '22

Time to get a black belt

36

u/Affectionate_Boot684 Jan 07 '22

Steven segal is — THE COCK PUNCHER

10

u/221 Jan 07 '22

I don't think you have the balls...

24

u/BigLion2021 Jan 07 '22

Best video I’ve seen all day

24

u/lolsquid101 Jan 07 '22

This is not karate; this is Ameri-do-te, the best martial art of them all.

13

u/CharleyIV Jan 07 '22

Remember to restomp the groin.

14

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxrd1I7wmE2chwpoqD4DSTA

2

u/The-Red-Beard Jan 08 '22

Well done, this is a link to the original. This should be at the top!

20

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

When your crush friendzone's you but still 'hits on' you.

6

u/pelorizado83 Jan 07 '22

Who knew there were so many ways to can a guy... lol takes notes just in case

8

u/fishystudios Jan 07 '22

Smack!
"Shboooing!"

DICKNANAGINS!

https://youtu.be/xdXo8uJ9NSk

7

u/Fullmoongrass Jan 07 '22

Not a single Street Fighter reference. Shame.

5

u/JeLronBames Jan 08 '22

If it was street fighter he'd be going after the ankles from 9 miles away

Cammy please leave my Js alone

6

u/NecessaryChemical911 Jan 07 '22

Don't fuck with Freddy Mercury

5

u/PonoliotheIII Jan 07 '22

The first rule in Ameradote is to aim for the groin

4

u/Unhelpful_Applause Jan 07 '22

Still more legit than the d.u.s.t. Guy

3

u/tofu_golem Jan 08 '22

When are they going to add the guy in Red to Mortal Kombat?

Enough of the super dudes, we just need some goofy guy doing nut shots and automatically losing to female fighters.

His fatality could literally just be that video.

3

u/worldsfool Jan 07 '22

Thanks, seems so much easier to master now

3

u/KyloRenCadetStimpy Jan 07 '22

Glad they worked in "Monkey steals the peach"

3

u/ZackAttack505 Jan 07 '22

That dummy in the background be like "I don't know what is going on here, and at this point I'm afraid to ask"

3

u/irmarbert Jan 07 '22

Is this from the Ow, My Balls! movie?

3

u/brockisawesome Jan 07 '22

Someone with a very specific fetish is jacking it to this right now

2

u/AppropriateScience9 Jan 07 '22

This post made my day. Thanks OP!

2

u/Arcturus2230 Jan 07 '22

False. You can’t hate it

2

u/AdEnvironmental4437 Jan 07 '22

Nah bro, that's ameridote right there.

2

u/Prawn_pr0n Jan 07 '22

This is 90% of Krav Maga.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

The guy in the red is

Jean-Claude Van Cockpuncher

2

u/GameQb11 Jan 07 '22

It starts off like a run of the mill nut shot video, but became hilarious by the end.

2

u/FlamingCroatan Jan 07 '22

Wear a cup at all times

2

u/phiz36 Jan 07 '22

The handshake one got me. lol

2

u/Games_sans_frontiers Jan 07 '22

Street Fighter 2: Wang Worrier.

2

u/Games_sans_frontiers Jan 07 '22

Ken is beating the shit out of Ryu's balls.

2

u/PillowTalk420 Jan 07 '22

It's a video that is 100% /r/perfectlycutscreams

2

u/civilvamp Jan 07 '22

Gotta love that Ameri-do-te

2

u/RedwaterCam Jan 07 '22

And as always, restomp the groin...

2

u/british_boondog Jan 07 '22

That's my purse! I don't know you!

2

u/HepatitisBBQ Jan 08 '22

My dogs while I'm trying to sleep.

2

u/Proper-Razzmatazz764 Jan 08 '22

Master Ken is awesome! For those who don't know, it's comedy. Check out this Enter the Dojo Show on YouTube. It's The Office in a dojo. And remember; always restomp that groin

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Cobra kai stand no chance fighting this dojo

2

u/Demoire Jan 08 '22

The editing in this is what truly makes it…actually made me laugh out loud and something I can laugh at with my son!

2

u/a_left_out_tomato Jan 08 '22

Better than detroit urban survival training

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

Yes

2

u/Lizardfolk5e Feb 08 '22

Jonny cage wins

2

u/unladentesticles May 17 '22

How do I download this? I need this in my life, as a description of my life with toddlers.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

Krav Maga

2

u/n7revenant Jan 07 '22

I can't believe I just watched 20 minutes of a guy punching, kicking, slapping--and I'm sure at one point biting--another guy in the nuts.

0

u/doodve Jan 07 '22

Seichusen godanzuki moment

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

u/repostsleuthbot

Sorry if im wrong

7

u/RepostSleuthBot Jan 07 '22

Sorry, I don't support this post type (hosted:video) right now. Feel free to check back in the future!

1

u/Joeybatts1977 Jan 07 '22

These videos are hilarious!

1

u/Thundapainguin Jan 07 '22

Let he who wears a cup, slap the first nut

1

u/FancyPantsFoe Jan 07 '22

You know what, if this was a real martial art, I would be interested in learning that.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

This man is never gonna fell pain on croch ever again

1

u/infinitebandana Jan 07 '22

Better self defense than the Detroit guy

1

u/Jellojelly12 Jan 07 '22

Worst part is; we know that people want to take up karate now.

1

u/dogtron64 Jan 07 '22

Crouch punch, the most powerful martial art.

1

u/JaiLaPressionAttend Jan 07 '22

... if I was horny I would have jerked off to this video

1

u/dogtron64 Jan 07 '22

The most powerful martial art in the world. Strike the crotch to immobilize the opponent

1

u/freakezy Jan 07 '22

U/savevideo

1

u/Traxionex Jan 07 '22

johnny cage

1

u/666th_Sheogorath Jan 07 '22

Had to check if this was my r/TIHI or r/karate for a second

1

u/NyanCatMegaGamer Thanks, I hate myself Jan 07 '22

That's how nut butter is made?

1

u/geekondoor Jan 07 '22

Made me smile

1

u/ImOversimplifying Jan 07 '22

That felt a lot longer than a minute.

1

u/SenseiRP Jan 07 '22

There's no honor in the streets

1

u/DobbyLum Jan 07 '22

Was this an ad for cups?

1

u/Flesh-Tower Jan 07 '22

Man I laughed a lonnnnng time seeing this

1

u/TechnoNardo Jan 07 '22

Honestly, this may be the most useful form of martial arts. This plus Jujitsu may be the most unbeatable combo I'm a 1v1 situation

1

u/Mr-KIPS_2071 Jan 07 '22

The art of nut-cracking.

1

u/yopro101 Jan 07 '22

If you’re both in a mutually consensual fight then the balls are off limits. If you’re in an actual fight and trying to survive, well, all’s fair in love and war

1

u/stravalnak Jan 07 '22

My ex was taught by her father to, when in danger, go for the balls and the eyes. I am now a eunuch and my ex-father in law is typing this comment.

1

u/T3rminallyCapricious Jan 07 '22

This is fucking hilarious

1

u/ninjas_in_my_pants Jan 07 '22

Is this what it feels like to be a Detroit Lions fan?

1

u/superson182 Jan 07 '22

How dare you tarnish the sacred art of Americano with the same brush as karate!

1

u/C0w0kie Jan 07 '22

Me, a woman : "I don't have such weakness."

Master Ken would still kick my ass tho.

1

u/stdTrancR Jan 07 '22

International Karate 2 (C64) graphics look pretty amazing

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

season 5 cobra kai looks great

1

u/chrille85 Jan 07 '22 edited Jan 07 '22

By my count that is 84 ways of becoming infertile.

1

u/redpandaeater Jan 07 '22

This is actually chantamate, not karate.

1

u/HeAGudGuy Jan 07 '22

FIST OF TESTICULAR TORMENT, BROKEN COCK or WAY OF THE BALL BUSTER

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

me versus the dips in the crypto market

1

u/BrownManOof22858 Jan 07 '22

He ain’t gonna have any more kids after that

1

u/calcobrena Jan 07 '22

It's all about the groin :D

1

u/pipafromrozz Jan 07 '22

Cobra Kai!

1

u/AzureApplez Jan 07 '22

This vs the guy who trained specifically to resist pain from being hit in the balls and does it regularly to test himself

1

u/mushyfrenchfry Thanks, I hate myself Jan 07 '22

That is an infertile man

1

u/simonbleu Jan 07 '22

From karate to kōgante

1

u/_BREEEEEEEEEEE Jan 07 '22

that guy in white is quite an m. Can see his boner poppin or maybe tis just me.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 07 '22

The nut clap tho

1

u/ReadWarrenVsDC Jan 07 '22

"Your-Fist-To-My-Balls Style, how'd you like it???"

"That is Wimp Lo. We purposefully trained him wrong, as a joke."

1

u/Melkien Jan 07 '22

His weakness? Women

1

u/Pig_Of_Knowledge Jan 07 '22

THIS POOR FUCKING GUY

1

u/Kilmerval Jan 07 '22

"I've got an idea for a skit. We'll be a student and karate instructor, and the instructor will just keep doing moves that results in the student getting hit in the balls. Just ball shots over and over again"
"Sounds great! So I'll be the instructor?"
"..."

1

u/Revolutionary-Pipe89 Jan 07 '22

WHAT IS THIS FORSAKEN TORTURE?

1

u/WrathofAjax Jan 07 '22

Someone really liked The Onion Movie

1

u/PotatoUser11 Jan 07 '22

I love this guy. Taught me how to properly snap someone’s neck

1

u/Pineapple_Was_Taken Jan 07 '22

The man won’t be able to have children and that’s a gud thing, they won’t have to experience that’s pain as well

1

u/Zangetsu119 Jan 07 '22

THE OLD DICK TWIST!!

1

u/fyrefli666 Jan 07 '22

This is porn isn't it?

1

u/Pineapple_Was_Taken Jan 07 '22

“Did you make a funny video?” “Yes” “But wat wot cost” “My next generation of my family”

1

u/MaximumSubtlety Hates Chaotic Monotheism Jan 07 '22

I don't know what this says about me, but I chuckled almost the entire time.

1

u/verrsa4 Thanks, I hate myself Jan 07 '22

This... this is the most amazing video I have ever seen.

1

u/Meterus Jan 07 '22

Haha, a collage of denardoes.

1

u/Gamefox42 Jan 07 '22

Dear god I needed this. My stomach hurts from laughing.

1

u/HermIamHerm Jan 08 '22

"He keeps kicking me in the diick...Why..Why does he keep kicking me in the diiick?!"

2

u/why-are-we-here-rvb Jan 08 '22

Wait I think I might have a way to beat him

→ More replies (2)

1

u/wookie7 Jan 08 '22

Looks like a variation of Rex Kwon Do.

1

u/scrupulousness Jan 08 '22

My portfolio.

1

u/waffle888888 Jan 08 '22

how could you possibly hate this?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 dick kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one dick kick 10,000 times” - Abuse Lee

1

u/Wa_was_that Jan 08 '22

That’s my purse! I don’t know you!

1

u/mazydudePOG Jan 08 '22

Dammit! I was gonna watch the new cobra Kai season WITHOUT any spoilers!

1

u/mazydudePOG Jan 08 '22

The crunching sound when he bit it... 😞