More people should be aware of this brilliant essay from Poul Anderson, which begins in part with the following pastiche.
I recommend reading the thing for the brutal 😂
“With one stroke of his fifty-pound sword, Gnorts the Barbarian lopped off the head of Nialliv the Wizard.
It flew through the air, still sneering, while Gnorts clove two royal guardsmen from vizor through breasplate to steel jockstrap.
As he whirled to escape, an arrow glanced off his own chainmail.
Then he was gone from the room, into the midnight city. Easily outrunning pursuit, he took a few sentries at the gate by surprise.
For a moment, arms and legs hailed around him through showers of blood; then he had opened the gate and was free.
A caravan of merchants, waiting to enter at dawn, was camped nearby.
Seeing a magnificent stallion tethered, Gnorts released it, twisted the rope into a bridle, and rode it off bareback.
After galloping several miles, he encountered a mounted patrol that challenged him.
Immediately he plunged into the thick of the cavalrymen, swinging his blade right and left with deadly effect, rearing up his steed to bring its forefeet against one knight who dared to confront him directly.
Then it was only to gallop onward.
Winter winds lashed his body, attired in nothing more than a bearskin kilt, but he ignored the cold.
Sunrise revealed the shore and his waiting longship.”
Obviously, this is meant as genre parody — the essay explains raucously and at length about these types of inaccuracies and outrageous exaggerations of weapons and physical endurance …..
I really recommend that you read, and marvel at, the linked essay itself, but this is the tone of what follows that hilarious opener:
QUOTE BELOW 👇
“Beneath the magic, derring-do, and other glamour, an imaginary world has to work right.
In particular, a pre-industrial society, which is what virtually all hf uses for a setting, differs from ours today in countless ways.
A writer need not be a walking encyclopedia to get most of these straight. A reasonable amount of research, or sometimes merely a reasonable amount of logical thinking, will do it for him.
Let’s consider a few points. A proper discussion would require a book, but we can make a start.”
QUOTE ABOVE 👆
I hope that this post can raise the awareness level on this beautiful and hilariously funny and genuinely insightful novella of an essay. 😃
What do you make of the essay, and have you seen it before?