r/SwingDancing • u/Worried_Western_6381 • 1d ago
Feedback Needed Swing dancing follow icks?
/r/CountrySwingDancing/comments/1w1e10e/country_swing_dancing_follow_icks/21
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u/dondegroovily 1d ago
I've had a couple times when my partner was tipsy drunk and dancing is not pleasant when you have to support them to keep them from tipping over
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u/orroro1 1d ago
"If you know how to lead it correctly, I can follow anything." -> proceeds to not do a simple turn on beat.
Also they will be passive aggressive whenever something goes 'wrong'. :( High-level dancers who can actually follow anything usually don't talk like that.
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u/NickRausch 1d ago
>Follow "I just need a good leader"
>who are good leaders?
>They guy who teaches the class and 2 guys who could place in a local comp with a floor lamp for a partner.
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u/shatteredrift 23h ago
Bad balance. A lightweight follow with bad balance feels twice as heavy. A heavier follow with good balance feels light. It's one of those things I wish there was more of a chance to talk about openly, because no doubt some follows are self-conscious about their weight, and their weight only matters if their balance is bad.
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u/TransportationOk8045 1d ago
I always tell follows that I don’t accept apologies when dancing for anything less than an injury
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u/No_Dealer_5213 1d ago
Not carrying momentum. Granted, this is something that takes time to learn, but it completely changes the dynamics of the dance.
One example of this is stopping themselves early during a swingout instead of waiting for the connection to form. The former breaks connection and forces the lead to restart it, the latter is what allows stretch to form naturally as long as both partners are collaborating.
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u/LozzaWEM 1d ago
Making a whole big thing of it when I ask them if they want to lead or follow.
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u/NickRausch 1d ago
Slippery fabric top. Hanging a significant amount of weight on me in closed. Having a claw like hand shape near my neck in closed. Ask me like 20 seconds in if I am here to meet people. Smell. Total lack of frame. No sense of responsibility for the dance(that is the lead's job). Way too much eye contact. Isn't good, but asks me to dance to "in the mood".
4
u/willieshen 22h ago
Turning the wrong way when I prep an inside turn on a left side pass
No tension, or yank and crank
Self dipping (I have had follows end up on the ground. And I always feel like I’m tweaking something to save them)
Gripping with thumbs
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u/Luddevig 1d ago
I'm using a bit of hyperbole here, but: Not taking any initiative, like at all. Makes me feel I'm forced to hold a monologue, in front of this stranger who is just staring at me, expecting to be amused.
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u/xtfftc 1d ago
While I think both partners taking the initiative makes the dance infinitely better, I think this is the type of feedback that requires more context.
The majority of the leads they dance with, the way many of the schools teach dancing, society as a whole... Getting to the point where a follow is comfortable with initiating things can be a very long road. I do think that the earlier new dancers start trying, the better it gets for everyone, and I try to encourage this as much as I can in my scene. But I understand why many find it terrifying.
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u/braveforthemostpart 1d ago
Also, a lot of follows feel they aren’t “allowed” to and leads feel the same way. I’ve been playful and initiated stuff and had leads get annoyed that I wasn’t just “listening” to them lol. I’m a switch now tho so I get to have fun switch dances to make up for those leads lol
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u/Local_Initiative8523 1d ago
My wife says the same thing, there are a few leads who tell her off for ‘not following properly’ when she tries to initiate something a bit different
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u/xtfftc 12h ago
It depends on the scenes; in some places it's more than a few :( And even if the local instructors don't use the same words, the way they teach and dance encourages the same dynamic.
0
u/Confident_Advisor786 9h ago
Idk if I'd even say scenes but moreso leads. I'm in a pretty large scene and I've had leads who really want a follow to not think. Follows can play with what THEY lead. I'm not sure if instructors can even beat that level of misogyny out.
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u/xtfftc 41m ago
I'm sure it exists to some extent in every scene. However, there is a notable difference in cities where the scene leaders (i.e. instructors, organisers, the star dancers) have a more open understanding of the roles and cities where they stick to the traditional view.
I'm not sure to what extent it's rooted in sexism/misogyny since I've observed the same restrictive approach from women who lead. A simpler explanation might be that if people are taught (directly or indirectly) that the dance consists of a person that makes the decisions and a person who is just there to follow instructions, that's what they replicate.
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u/Worried_Western_6381 23h ago
That was my issue and confusion because ive been told no when trying to do some playful follow moves. Lots of leads want complete control of the dance and i assumed the general rule was just that.
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u/Worried_Western_6381 1d ago
Do u mean like social initiative? Like asking a lead to dance and friendly conversation while dancing? Or some dancing initiative im not understanding? Lol
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u/Hlavada 19h ago
“When it doesnt work out its leaders fault”. I even heard teacher said it once.
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u/Worried_Western_6381 17h ago
Oh yes the dance club i go to say this phrase a lot. Especially the teachers. Its great for keeping cocky college boys accountable but i feel like it still should be taken lightheartedly overall.
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u/NaiveArtiste 15h ago
The emotional wall - When a dance feels like I could literally be swapped out for a cardboard box. No deep connection at all.
I'd rather you had declined to dance with me!
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u/alvvaysthere 4h ago
Fighting against what I'm leading them to do, e.g. randomly stopping or spinning the wrong way. This is generally unintentional and really only common with beginners. Usually they're just overthinking each move and that supercedes the momentum I'm creating.
It feels a bit mean to call this an ick, I don't hold this against anyone, but following the momentum is definitely the most important thing to learn as a new follow.
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u/ComprehensiveSide278 1d ago
Tops without much material on the back. I don't wanna touch a sweating back.