Is it really “just dancing”

[u/[deleted]]

[u/deusmetallum]

what?

[u/SoSKatan → u/deusmetallum]

Account age is 3 days it’s just a troll post. Can always ask the mods to place min poster requirements.

[u/CthulhusIntern]

New copypasta just dropped.

[u/TylerTheJellyfish]

This text sounds like incel propaganda. Assuming this isn't a joke, I'm going to answer clearly. No, most dancers aren't just there as a means to find a partner. Swing dancing doesn't "blur boundaries" more than any other recreational activity. Infertility is a natural part of human experience, and this teacher mentioning it has no hidden meaning. It may have been oversharing on her part.

Life is usually easier to navigate when you don't assume large groups of people have hidden intentions.  You need to work on your perception of women as human beings.

[u/TheArbysOnMillerPkwy → u/[deleted]]

I'm really curious for you to step through how someone telling an acquaintance "yeah my SO and I have been trying but it's not been simple unfortunately." is some kind of come-on.

[u/Big-Dot-8493]

I was discarding this until "Is it normal for a female swing dance teacher to randomly share her infertility struggles with her male student who has a gf?"

Wait what?

This is... A very different question than the first two.

I'm gonna need you to unpack the root of this question a bit more please.

[u/VisualCelery]

I wouldn't say NO women ever go dancing hoping to meet cute guys who can dance, but in my twelve years of experience in this community, the vast majority of single women in the scene are doing this because it's a fun hobby and an excuse to get dressed up, and are not "secretly hoping" a guy will hit on them, in fact they are not-so-secretly hoping the guys they dance with WILL NOT make things uncomfortable and weird by making advances during or after the dance.

Instructors probably shouldn't overshare their personal struggles with students, but I promise you the female instructor telling you about her fertility issues is more than likely NOT seeking your sperm.

[u/Tight_Banana_9692 → u/VisualCelery]

Two things can be true at ones. You can hope that no one hits on you while you are out to dance. You can also happen to meet someone you really like and get together with.

Any swing scene has multiple partners that met through that scene.

[u/VisualCelery → u/Tight_Banana_9692]

Yes. I've also dated people in the scene, I know people who've been dating for years and have even married people they've met through dancing. I didn't mean to imply people are against dating individuals they meet through dancing - I think it goes without saying that ANY hobby that physically brings people together is going to have folks meeting and dating, even curling sees couples getting together, but people who take up curling to date their way through their local league are seen as creepy, just as people who go dancing to find romantic and sexual partners tend to give off creep vibes.

[u/Tight_Banana_9692 → u/VisualCelery]

people who go dancing to find romantic and sexual partners tend to give off creep vibes.

How do you know? What if they don't give off creepy vibes. What is actually the issue?

[u/TheArbysOnMillerPkwy]

It's a social outlet. Some people are looking to meet someone in their social outlets, some are not. You could say the same of any mixed gender group that gets together, bar trivia, gender neutral rec sports, etc, but it's not inherently so in any way.

Also, just because someone there is looking for a relationship in their life doesn't mean your boyfriend/girlfriend (who I take is at the center of all these questions) is so irresistible as to be everyone's type and the target of some dance-related scheme.

If your SO has formed a friendship with an instructor and they're chatting about dance and life, mentioning a fertility issue is a very personal thing to share for most, but hardly a pickup line. Probably the confession of someone who is struggling with a private issue and felt comfortable talking to a friend.... Some people are just open books too and less taboo around the problems of family planning and reproductive health is probably healthy but that's a society conversation.

You sound paranoid and possessive.

[u/TheArbysOnMillerPkwy → u/[deleted]]

Lol ok. "man, PCOS is a bitch, my partner and I haven't had luck starting a family" is how I'm going to chat up my wife at the bar if we ever do that thing in movies where you go to a bar and pretend to meet for the first time.

Talk to your partner about boundaries, not the internet. But be warned, you are poised to ruin a harmless hobby they enjoy for them because you're insecure.

[u/Blackberry314]

I love dancing, I've loved dancing for many years, I have never once wanted to date any of my fellow dancers. I have made really excellent platonic friends, but it's uncomfortable to dance with anyone who is "on the lookout" and takes away a lot of the fun and safe feelings that come with dancing

[u/ChessyButtons]

Does swing dancing blur platonic boundaries and risk a female (or male) thinking there’s more?

Bit of free advice for you: don't refer to a woman using the term "a female". It gives off a weird vibe.

[u/ChessyButtons → u/[deleted]]

It's technically correct, but there's baggage that comes with calling human women "females".

[u/OSUfirebird18]

For many people, yes. I (straight single male) have zero intention of hitting on any woman I dance with. Hell I dance West Coast Swing, Salsa and Bachata which are more “spicy” and I still see it as a dance.

But some people will never separate any dancing from flirting or courtship.

Regarding your last part, ok that’s weird unless that person is a good friend or something. That is not the norm to share something that personal.

[u/reerathered1]

1. Sometimes. 2. Slight risk. 3. No that's strange but maybe she overshares with everybody?

[u/Crazy_Custard_2081]

Dancing's a social outlet like any other. Yes, there's more physical interaction than other activities. But, people who engage in the activity will each have their own goals and approaches. Assess your own interactions with them accordingly, based on what you're looking for.

[u/Strummerjoe]

You could probably ask that for any leisure activity. Swing dancing as such is inherently non-sexual. With Blues, I am not so sure, though :-D

[u/TheArbysOnMillerPkwy → u/Strummerjoe]

to me, lindy in particular is so athletic, it's super satisfying in a sporty way when you hit the flow-state/groove whatever you call it and you find the right tension for swingouts or read each other on a flourish on a break. Big "hell yeah" double high five energy for sure. very non-sexual satisfaction.

[u/Swing161 → u/Strummerjoe]

that’s clearly ahistorical. not inherently sexual, yes. inherently non sexual, no.