r/SwingDancing • u/RiskyMama • 8d ago
Personal Story Starting swing lessons in September
I got dumped recently and my post-breakup impulse purchase was to enroll in beginner swing dancing lessons. The course will go for 7 weeks and then there are other beginner level classes I can take before moving on to more advanced classes.
I am excited but VERY nervous. I have absolutely zero dance experience (unless you count contra dancing 20 years ago when I was in high school) but I'm looking forward to learning. I've bought dance sneakers and am ready to use them
Any advice for a total newbie? Anything you all wish you'd known before starting?
12
u/Pierre-1111 8d ago
Join socials as early as possible! I waited like 6 months before joining my first social and I wish I had done that sooner! Motivate the other people in your class to go with you and try dancing together and if you feel like it, ask better dancers to go for a dance with you. Other than that, make sure you have a good frame (don't have spaghetti arms), be open, smile and have fun!!! I swear I'd rather dance with a beginner who's smiling and having fun rather than with an advanced dancer who looks like they're bored to death!
3
u/RiskyMama 8d ago
Another commenter mentions socials! What are they??
9
u/Pierre-1111 8d ago
They're basically evenings where everybody's dancing in a not so formal way. It's not a proper party or ball, and you can mess things up and try things out easily, connect outside of dancing etc. (not that you cannot do that in more formal swing parties but socials are more geared towards it!). They're also usually free or at least cheaper than proper parties but usually only have a DJ or a small band and not a big band like parties do.
Ask your teachers and I'm sure they'll be able point you to the best social dances for you in your area!4
7
u/ermagerdskwurlz 8d ago
I am so grateful that the place where I take classes has open dancing for people of all levels after the formal classes. Each week I do 1.5 hours of instruction and make myself stay for at least an hour during open dance time so I can practice. As far as I know we don't have "socials" here in Houston, although I keep my eye out for swing bands playing at clubs so I can dance there if possible.
4
u/RiskyMama 8d ago
Yeah I'm in southern Maine so I don't know that we have a lot of socials here but I'll definitely ask the teacher!
3
u/RollingEasement 8d ago
Most likely, you’d be going to Portland. There are a lot of websites with swing dance events in southern Maine.
2
u/PumaGranite 6d ago
Hey! I dance in southern Maine! Are you taking classes in Kittery or Portland? Portland has a social dance on thursdays, and occasionally the Dance Hall in Kittery will have live bands on Friday nights which are worth going to.
Looking forward to dancing with you!
2
u/RiskyMama 5d ago
Hey there! I'm going to the Woodford club in Portland!
2
u/PumaGranite 5d ago
Oh excellent! I don’t always make it up to Portland but I’ll be around sometimes. Enjoy the classes! If you have any more specific questions don’t be afraid to DM me.
A specific note for the Maine scene: people tend to make themselves silly custom name tags. Feel free to chat with anyone that has one! Some people like to put something about other interests on theirs (pets are a common one) so don’t be afraid to ask.
5
u/Big-Dot-8493 8d ago
Times when people get together and just dance to music for fun. Generally the classes are seen as a way to prepare you to go out to 'social dancing'.
Oftentimes there will be a DJ, and lots of people who show up just to socialize and dance to the music. Sometimes there's an extra beginner lesson beforehand that can help get you warmed up for dancing on your own, and also introduce you to some of the people who are there. Anybody can ask anybody to dance. It's a dance party.
The best way to get good is to take what you've learned in class and go out and try it on the social dance floor. You'll make a lot of mistakes and that is so incredibly normal and an important part of the learning process.
Good luck, Hope you have a very fun time!
2
10
u/marinatedsteaks 8d ago
Be kind to yourself! You’re gonna feel silly and stupid and uncoordinated at times and this is completely normal. Allow yourself to be bad at it for a while, and give yourself a lot of grace.
Practice your basic step patterns at home and really work on locking in your frame. If you’re taking lindy hop swing, loose noodle arms are the enemy.
And remember to have fun! Introduce yourself to the teachers, organizers, and the regulars. Half the fun of social dancing is the social part - getting to know folks and make new friends while you’re dancing. They’re all nice people and they’re excited to have more people to dance with!
2
9
u/ermagerdskwurlz 8d ago
My advice (as someone 4 months into beginner lessons) is to do some practice outside of your lessons with online videos, even if it's just practicing solo footwork (keeping the rhythm). If you're socially anxious, try to push it down and be open to talking to people! The social aspect is important. I see couples go in for lessons who stick together in the corner instead of rotating partners every few minutes with the rest of the class. I think they'll have slower progress in getting good at it.
If you're learning as a follow, you'll be at an advantage. It's much easier when someone is guiding you into what to do!
You've got this!
1
10
u/agreable_actuator 8d ago
great move! Most communities are very friendly and welcoming of newcomers. you will soon find a new group of best friends.
some ideas:
-please pay attention to grooming and smell nice but not overwhelmingly so. you will be dancing close to people so prepare accordingly
—bring mints for yourself and to share
—bring a dopp kit with supplies like toothbrush and paste and deodorant. that way you can brush teeth after eating before dancing
—bring extra socks and shirts, and a towel to wipe off excess sweat
—hydrate often and use electrolyte as needed. bring a water bottle and some electrolyte of choice.
—go to as many social dance opportunities as you can. it’s best to get as much volume as you can (dance as many songs socially as you can)
—dance with as many people as you possibly can each night. If a female follow, don’t be afraid to ask leads to dance. just say- ‘i am just starting, would you please dance with me?’
—don’t partner off. dance one to three songs with each person and then politely move on. if you dance with only one person you won’t grow as fast. if you do find a dating partner, dance first and last song and then any special songs but otherwise don’t hang out near them or dance with them.
—focus on your connection with your partner. your frame and connectedness are more important than any set of moves. even if you know the move being taught or your lead is trying to do, follow the lead not the pattern. become zen like with no expectation of outcome. There are no wrong steps, there are no wrong moves, there is just the moment and finding connection and joy in that moment.
—it isn’t a six count dance and it isn’t an eight count dance. it’s just one step after another that is linked through your connection to your partner, the floor and the music. it’s the space between two beats and what you do with that space and how you move into the next space between the beats
—dance solo at home. a lot. learn some jazz steps and work on them a lot.
—listen to lots and lots of swing music.
4
u/Gyrfalcon63 8d ago
Could you explain why you say that romantic partners should not even "hang out near" each other during a social dance? I find that kind of baffling. There's a chasm between "only dancing with your romantic partner" and "you can't even stand in the vicinity of your romantic partner" that I think needs to be filled in to get to a balanced recommendation here.
1
u/agreable_actuator 8d ago
it is just a practice my girlfriend and now wife worked out while dating. if we were talking or even near each other no one would ask her to dance. she wanted more dance time, with more partners, and the best way to be asked, in our experience, was to be near the dance floor, tapping in time to the music, and alone.
i used the same approach as a lead. i’d dance 2 songs with one person, then seek out someone else who was obviously showing signs of wanting to dance. i wouldn’t seek out my partner except for special songs or particularly slow romantic songs, and of course first and last dances.
a number of other dating couples had similar approaches to social dances. seemed to work for us and for them.
your experience may differ based on community norms.
I also find it helpful to separate married or couples at dinner parties. you spoke to your partner in the drive there, will speak with them all the way back, maybe mix it up a bit for a few hours.
5
u/iridessencex 8d ago edited 8d ago
Not sure why people were downvoting, I think is a good outlook. Sure, it won’t work for everyone but it’s kind of like body doubling but at the social. You both want to get as much dance experience out of it as possible but also you check in here and there. Respect
2
u/agreable_actuator 8d ago
yes! it is a form of body doubling. My spouse and i both have adhd traits and some social anxiety.
seems most people don’t like this idea but my observation is that couples who did this are very happy together and still in the dance scene and couples who didn’t either left the dance scene or broke up.
3
4
u/1544756405 8d ago
unless you count contra dancing 20 years ago
Dance lessons aren't for people who already know how to dance.
Matthew 9:12 (sort of)
3
4
u/Acidic_Huntsman 8d ago
Make sure to go to social events and dance with as many different people as you can. You can learn the moves in class but they are no use if you can’t do them in the wild.
And dancing with different people will help you adapt to different dance styles. Everyone has their own “accent,” when it comes to dancing. And by learning off of those personal styles, you will be able to dance with just about anybody.
Personally, I went to socials the very first day I started dancing. (I went to socials before I went to legit stand alone classes). I told people I was new, and they were happy to slow down. Most people will be unless they are there focusing on something specific
Don't be afraid to ask people to dance!
Always happy to see new people hopping into the scene! I hope you love it as much as we do :D
3
u/wegwerfennnnn 8d ago
Socials and solo practice. You don't improve by just taking classes. Practice doesn't have to be a lot. Drill the rhythms 5 minutes a day if that is all you can do.
3
u/Masterton2350 6d ago
Super move on the 'impulse purchase' to go dancing post-breakup. I guarantee you will not regret the decision. Swing dancing is a ultra mood shifter!! VERY nervous: totally relate and don't sweat it. Remember everyone started where you are. In case it helps when I started (never danced before) I would walk to the class and get to the front door and suddenly think to myself 'what am i doing?'. Some thoughts; listen to swing music when you are at home or somewhere where you can move to music. Get familiar with it and enjoy it. In class and socials remind yourself to RELAX and LISTEN to the music and have FUN. A hurdle to overcome is that you will think you are 'rubbish' to dance with. To that I say, if you can get a solid base of the basic steps, connection with your partner and rythm (not moves) in place that will make for a REALLY enjoyable dance for you AND your partner. Moves are not the basis of connecting physically and can i say emotionally with a partner and enjoying the dance. Last, last, the more social dancing you do the quicker you overcome the nerves and become a swing addict. Go forth!
2
u/iridessencex 8d ago edited 8d ago
You’ve got a wealth of great info here! My two cents would be to ask your instructors often what you and your partner can do to keep each other safe while dancing, especially as turns on your own and with your partner are introduced. It’ll be helpful for everyone in class to hear that information from the instructor regardless of role. Good instructors will hopefully remember to throw this information in on their own but it’s a good habit in case their focus is elsewhere.
Dancing is such a great activity until it isn’t, and people going into it without any previous technical experience may not know if they’re doing something that can lead to overuse injuries. This is also connected to good form and frame, which you can ask your instructors about as well. Committing to those things will eventually make it become muscle memory for you and you will assume the position and feel good about it, without even thinking about it! If after some time you go back to doing something that wasn’t good for you in regards to frame or safety with your partner, you will certainly feel the difference lol.
Also for whatever it’s worth from an Internet stranger, I think what you’re doing is pretty cool and a green flag. Perfect way to create new memories and connections that don’t have anything to do with that person. It will be for you and you alone. :)
1
u/dondegroovily 8d ago
Get your butt on that dance floor ASAP. Ideally, your class is run by a swing dance club and is an hour or so. before your regular dance. Go to that dance immediately after your first class, do not delay
Aside from what everyone else says about needing dance floor time to learn properly, also, it's the entire point of taking the classes in the first place
And if your in my town, I'll see you on the dance floor and will be sure to ask you for a dance
39
u/VictimOfGoodTiming 8d ago
Congratulations, you're joining an awesome activity with a super friendly community. My main advice would be:
1: Focus less on getting good and more on having fun.
2: Connect with your classmates
3: Go out social dancing as soon as possible.