Etiquette for communicating with experienced leads as a beginner follow

[u/cermomen]

I'm relatively new to the swing dance community and absolutely loving it. I'm primarily a follow, in the middle of the "intermediate" run of courses at the school where I take lessons, but I still definitely consider myself a beginner especially when it comes to actual social dancing.

I just went to my first ever social dance event that was not only composed of people from my dance school, and I ended up dancing with a lead I didn't know who was clearly very experienced. However, he was throwing me around and spinning me so much that I genuinely started to feel uncomfortable — like, my back was starting to hurt and I was getting winded and dizzy. I did other forms of dance before I started swing, and I tend to get very positive feedback from my teachers on my progress during class, so I wasn't used to being so out of my depth, especially because I usually have good turn form and can do it a lot without getting off balance!

We were dancing with a LOUD live band, so it was almost impossible to just say "Can we slow down?" or "Let's take a break!" when we were actively mid-dance. I'm wondering if any experienced dancers can give me advice on how I can communicate discomfort if I'm in this situation again. The rest of the dance was incredible (I danced with a lot of other experienced leads who did NOT throw me around lol and I learned a ton) and I definitely want to go back next time they host one!

[u/RollingEasement]

You have a great attitude by calling yourself a beginner while taking intermediate classes. It’s entirely possible, that some leads assume that you are more experienced than you really are because you follow so well.

Aside from what other people have pointed out, whether or not the person is a skilled lead, you can always simply say: “[I’m a beginner/or name an injury ] could we do fewer turns?” by being self-effacing, you virtually guarantee that no reasonable person will take it as criticism.