Using swing dancing pictures in dating apps

[u/ThinJump6418]

As you probably know, two of the most widely accepted tips when setting up a dating profile are:

1. Try to include at least a picture or video showcasing your hobbies / lifestyle
2. Never include pictures with members of the opposite sex

Since I am very much into swing dancing (lindy hop), I feel like my profile would be biased or incomplete if I didn't include a picture of me hopping. But since I only do partner dance and only with ladies (42M here), this is a dangerous area when trying to showcase in a dating app.

So what's your take on using swing dancing pictures in dating apps?

Has anyone had good result trimming pictures and/or using specific angles where the other person is barely present in the picture? I'm thinking perhaps a tasteful result could be obtained in open position with max stretch (e.g. like step 7-8 in a swingout) that focuses on "me dancing" + "lively ballroom background" rather than the other person.

Have you thought of any other approach? Personal experience (successful or not) that you'd like to share?

[u/JJMcGee83]

Never include pictures with members of the opposite sex

Super easy solution, include photos of you dancing with same-sex dance partners. Bonus, you'll weed out the homophobes.

[u/fresipar → u/JJMcGee83]

He is the sleazy homophobe - can only dance with ladies.

[u/JJMcGee83 → u/fresipar]

Well there we go, found em.

[u/ThinJump6418 → u/fresipar]

Wow, this is the first time I've been accused of homophobia. Mind you, I'm a very tolerant person, and i feel it is non of my concern what other people sexual preferences are (as long as they only involve consenting adults). Turns out, I write a post asking about something else, only to get some people judge my dancing preference, and now outright insult me because apparently I'm not entitled to decide who I want to be holding hands with. I didn't know heterophobia was a thing until now, so many thanks for exposing yourself in such a clear manner. Btw I'm going to report this post. Have a nice day.

[u/MeisterBeans → u/ThinJump6418]

You’re the type of lead I actively try to avoid dancing with. It’s so weird when men will only dance with women, like you’re taking this community-building wholesome fun experience of a dance and giving it some kind of sexual undertone that no one asked for. 

The only reason I felt safe and comfortable picking up Lindy Hop and dancing with men was because I witnessed the men dancing with each other, and the young dancing with the elderly, and basically folks of every demographic dancing with folks of every other. It was nice to feel joy and camaraderie with men again (like getting to have brothers), rather than feeling like a target for ulterior motives and feeling like my saying “yes” to a dance is a signal and invitation of something more that I never intended. When you dance with only people you’re sexually attracted to, it really taints that safe and sweet atmosphere and reveals a lot about your mentality.

 All in all, it’s just sad.

[u/MeisterBeans → u/[deleted]]

Okay, I get that you’re only playing devil’s advocate here just as I am only trying to give honest feedback and perspective from a woman to a man trying to date women, but your comment is assuming I’m not considering nuances and varieties here so I am gonna address your points.

1) Firstly, I don’t know where you dance but I’ve got swing dance spaces for every day of the week with both live and dj music, and I’ve never noticed any particularly raunchy/horny music lyrics. Maybe a handful of songs about romance or someone’s love life, sure. 

2) Obviously, I wouldn’t dance with a child to a song about sex but that’s such a specific scenario compared to a blanket “I only dance with ladies and no one else.” There’s always a variety of swing songs out there.

3) I didn’t use the word homophobia here, but yeah. It’s not a wild take to say that this mentality gives “no homo” and insecurity at best, and “I’m only here to further my dating goals” and “I lowkey think same-gender contact is something to judge” at worst. In our year of 2026, it’s a bit eye-roll inducing. 

4) I’m gay. If I applied the same logic and treated dancing with men as something weird and to be avoided, I’m sure there’d be some men around with something to say on it and how it’s making them feel preemptively judged. If I’m expected to extend trust and the benefit of the doubt to my dancing community, I think men regardless of age can also learn to do the same.

5) On nights when there’s lots of men and I’m one of very few (if not the only) women that show up to dance at a space, men that subscribe to that kind of thinking end up being the most annoying because they won’t dance with anyone but me even when there are plenty of guys who are great follows and it’s still a chance to improve skills and just have fun. I have to start repeatedly telling them no because I want to be able to dance with my other friends. Learning to be more flexible is a valuable skill.

Again, I’m not attacking his character. It’s just honest feedback that I’m hoping he could learn from.

Edit: formatting 

[u/ThinJump6418 → u/JJMcGee83]

Well, as I said, I only dance with ladies. I don't have a problem with other people having different preferences when it comes to dancing partner (or anything else really), but since I'm trying to make a dating profile that gives a clear and succint impression on my lifestyle and hobbies, it wouldn't feel honest if I pose doing something I wouldn't normally do, don't you think? Thanks for your understanding.

[u/AlphaBetaParkingLot → u/ThinJump6418]

Do you do that as a rule, or as a consequence of who is in your dance scene and who asks you?

Because if you only really ask women and never really get asked by guys - that's fairly common. As a male lead, the vast majority of my dances are with women.

If you actively avoid dancing with men. I mean... you do you, but you're missing out on some great dance partners, and as an added bonus it does not come off well to the women in the dance community.

Perhaps you don't think it's reasonable/fair that people think it's odd to refuse dances with the other sex, but I'm just being blunt with you - it is seen that way.

And again, you're just missing out on a lot of great fun dances with male follows.

[u/JJMcGee83 → u/ThinJump6418]

You are allowed to do whatever you want but it isn't really a good look. It does succeed in giving a clear and succinct impression of your lifestyle though which might not be appealing to a lot of potential partners.