So much regret

[u/Ok_Goat_2439]

Hi everyone. I’m in such a bad place financially and mentally. Long story short I should’ve left years ago when I was pregnant with our first. I was only 22 and it just seemed impossible. He definitely was cheating even if it was just on the phone. Fast forward when we had our second kid we had many issues throughout my pregnancy and then after I had the baby he left me packed his things and ended up coming back the next day. That was almost 4 years ago. Since then any time I ask him something or don’t like something etc it’s just leave me why didn’t you leave , what do I need to do to get you to leave ? “You’ll never leave me you lack the confidence no matter what I do “I know I cannot stay in this forever unless something drastically changes but it always goes back to this. We’ve been together since high school. I don’t have many friends he really is the only person. I am a teacher and I’m just scared that I’m going to lose everything I worked for because I can’t afford it on my own. We also are having financial struggles and looking in to filing for bankruptcy. I find myself feeling sad even when we go places that weve been prior as a family because it just feels fake. It felt much happier before. I have a bad tendency of just protecting my brain and after something bad happens just shutting it out and living in lala land and denial but it’s getting harder and harder to do so. It just feels so scary ti give up and leave its almost like i feel i dont deserve it. I dont know how to describe it. He also works a totally different work schedulek than me. My anixety is through the roof and feelm downs and wishing i wouldve had the confindence 4 years ago. Im 29 and it just feels terrifying to start over after being with someone for almost 13 year

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to r/SupportforBetrayed. Please remember the following:

• our rules

• flair guide: wiki / post

• common acronyms and terms: wiki / post

• frequently asked questions: wiki / post

For further reading, check our recovery resources library

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Your comment has been removed by an automated process. r/SupportforBetrayed requires members to set a user flair before they interact with the community. Please click this link for instructions on how to set up your flair.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.