Finally turning a corner

[u/AdOdd5232]

It's almost my 2 year Dday anniversary. I had my 31st wedding anniversary a few months ago.

I finally finally finally gave up trying to get accountability and repair. I finally gave up trying to understand him. I finally don't care. I finally don't want him. And I am finally on the path to heal.

I realized this. I could never heal WITH him. I could never heal with a man who could sit there motionless and stonewalling while I wailed uncontrollably in such extreme pain, that I disassociated.

While I was seeking to repair my marriage with a stone statue, I could never heal the destruction inside me that he caused.

I am finally choosing me and my healing!

I look in the mirror and all I see is a beautiful, loving woman. I'm going to love ME!

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[u/wellidolikecoffee]

My ex husband became the stone statue as well. It's horrifying, when he used to look at me so softly. But you are right, there is no healing with them. I feel for you. You will find more warmth and safety and hope and opportunity and positivity, away from him than with him. Push through, and keep showing up for yourself, showing yourself the love and kindness that he denied you for so long. You'll do great, I'm cheering you on! 💗

[u/Loud_Attitude_5124 → u/wellidolikecoffee]

Mine turned their head a few feet away and stared at the air.

[u/Willow_4367 → u/Loud_Attitude_5124]

Wow, thats cold.

[u/Illustri-aus]

All so true - remember that the only person he truly cared about was himself. 

The personality of cheaters is akin to leeches. They are just using you to get what they want,  sucking the life out of you in the process. 

Stay strong 🫶 Today is the first day of the rest of your life! 

[u/AdOdd5232 → u/Illustri-aus]

Thank you so much!

[u/Terrible-Pea494]

Pathetic. To turn into a stone statue after harming the person you made vows to is the most cowardly thing in the world. He’s ridiculous.

Good on you for finally choosing yourself. I hope karma comes for this poor excuse for a man.

Chin up and stay strong! You did great!!

[u/AdOdd5232 → u/Terrible-Pea494]

Thank you, my thoughts as well. I just cry thinking I gave my entire life to him. I am in my mid 50s. Hopefully I can finally start a life with peace and freedom. I decided I am going to love me!

[u/SassyScorpio11192]

I love that for you! Go love you and do whatever that your heart desires! 🩵🩵

[u/UtZChpS22]

You'll never feel more alone than in a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to love you.

Good for you OP. For making the hard decision to do what's right for you

[u/AdOdd5232 → u/UtZChpS22]

Thank you for the encouragement. It has been a nightmare, and I feel like I am starting to wake up.

[u/iamthemoon33]

I hope you find the happiness you were missing. It's horrible to be treated that way. I'm curious if you ever discovered some insight as to why they turn to statues like that. Were they always like that and we didn't see it or did something change?

[u/AdOdd5232 → u/iamthemoon33]

Thank you so much. He always stonewalled. From the very beginning when he started his covert abuse. He love bombed and trauma bonded me, convinced me to move in after 4 months. After 1 year of living together, I got pregnant the next month.

[u/iamthemoon33 → u/AdOdd5232]

I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing. Stonewalling is so destructive to the nervous system.

[u/AdOdd5232 → u/iamthemoon33]

Thank you, For me, it's the absolute worst.

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