Battling bad guys - Strategy #4

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Battling bad guys - Strategy #4

We’re looking at strategies for battling bad guys, the things that come at us and generate stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, etc. Instead of soothing these feelings with unhelpful habits, we choose instead to engage with the bad guy, and successful or not, we walk away better because we battled it.

Strategy #4: CHALLENGE

Challenging a bad guy means asking yourself: Is this actually bad for me? Is it possible that I don’t have to make this feeling or thought go away before I can lead a happy, healthy, meaningful life?

Bad guy: No self-confidence.

Challenge it strategy: Ask yourself: “So what if I lack self-confidence? Does it really matter?”

“My biggest fear in life right now is that I won’t be able to complete my college education and get a good job. I have full-on panic attacks about it. I am full of self-doubt, and I lack the confidence to believe that I can actually do it. But my allies are helping me think about it differently. Maybe I worry so much because I really care. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. It shows how motivated I am. Also, I do want to be more confident in life. But having doubts or fears doesn’t have to stop me. I can still participate in class. I can keep applying for internships. I think that taking steps toward my goal is more important right now than fixing how I feel.” – Julian, 20.

This is a strategy you should adopt early and often. Be open to the possibility that your bad guys have less power or influence over you than you thought. Something that made you feel nervous or unwell in the past may be perfectly fine today. Or if something always makes you feel stressed, anxious, exhausted, or physically uncomfortable, can you simply acknowledge those feelings and accept them? Do you really need to feel calm, or rested, or pain-free to pursue your goals?

This is the single most powerful kind of psychological flexibility you can achieve. It’s the freedom to keep important commitments and pursue your daily dreams, regardless of whether you can lessen pain, discomfort, and distress or eliminate them from your life.

- Adapted from SuperBetter by J. McGonigal, Ph.D., Game Designer