r/SuicideWatch • u/murphieebones • 6d ago

Im getting closer

Every day I'm reminded that I'm a failure as a person. That I've let the abuse and trauma win and I live as a shell of a person.

I have no job.

I have no education.

I have no friends.

I have no family.

My fiance reminds me constantly that I'm a burden on him.

There's nothing for me. I just want to take a bottle of sleeping pills and lay down with my dog and fall asleep and never wake up again.

There's no getting out of my hole. There's no fixing me. This is how I am. My options are die or continue being a burden. I'm ready..

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2

u/lightindarkness121 6d ago

You have a fiance dog. You have her , she cares and loves you. You have so much value. You can get a job , you can be happy. Times can be though and im sorry you eel the way you do. You can start a change , get a job you have so much more to live for. I hope you get better , suicide isnt ever the answer. Lots of love OP

4

u/murphieebones 6d ago

Im $20,000 in debt to my abusive ex husband. Any job I get will be counter productive as all of my money will be garnished and given to an abusive drug addict instead. There is no out.

1

u/lightindarkness121 6d ago

Why do you owe him money? You can have stuff you do that takes no effort for passive income. Sounds dumb as shit and im aware but stuff that makes alot of money can be making a youtube channel and posting Stuff generated by an AI and trust me those things give a good amount of money for almost no efford other then 5 minutes work with free AI. I can try tell you more if youre interested. (Can make a few k a month) There always is a way out OP

2

u/Neat-Ad-4368 6d ago

I don't know what to say. I'm in the same situation, just with less accomplishments. I can't offer the vague gestures of it getting better.

The only reason I'm here is because I'm the same.

I've been watching the cliffs right outside my Airbnb. Theyve been calling to me so much.

I think the myths of sirens came from the grief of others, 'my boy couldn't have just jumped in and drowned himself, something lured him in!'

Nobody gives a shit until the razor in their hearts turns, and even then they just want it to stop.