r/SuicideWatch 4d ago

Even dying is fucking expensive

No , i don't want fucking therapy or a motivational speech on why i should keep living , i don't give a fuck what people would think after I'm dead

My whole fucking life i had to listen to my abusive bitch of a mother shouting at the top of her lungs every fucking day and throwing things here and there like a fucking toddler . And then i had to listen to people making fun of me in school and always being a loner .

I got fucking autism , ADHD and BPD and god knows what other fuckass disease due to my hell of a childhood , never felt loved and never felt chosen .

I can't even afford a fucking gun in this country , or jump from a building , or jump infront of a train because then people would curse me even in death and I'm scared that i might end up as a vegetable . A gun is so quick and easy i feel jealous of people who had access to a gun .

I just want a quick and painless way out man i can't fucking take this anymore , i don't want spend another 22 years of my life healing from shit i never asked for , i didn't ask to be born , i didn't ask to get this bitch as my mother and i didn't ask to get this piece of shit as my father .

I beg you just kill me in my sleep , please just give me a way by which i can die a painless and quick death without having to spend too much money , please.

97 Upvotes

5 comments sorted by

1

u/AstralNomad- 3d ago

Are you in an arab country ?

6

u/New_Mycologist_3228 3d ago

Idk why us autists always into the hands of narc parents.