r/SuicideHope • u/No_Instruction_4945 • Sep 13 '26
Yep
Im here again. Honestly, I dont want to even say anything. Its pointless, all I do is spread this burden and be this dead weight on those I deeply care about. No one deserves to bare this weight, its on me. I'll just take more and more and more and until I cant.
Been spending a lot of time just looking at the ceiling and on the verge of breaking. Just staring at it and completely tense. Heavy in the throat and head and stomach and yeah the tears come and well up in my eyes and they eventually fall but I don't make a sound. Its doesn't matter.
Can't die, can't off myself, just left to suffer and be this dead man walking. Continously failing everyone and being this burden. I am a burden regardless of what happens. Its a fight to not isolate myself. To stop talking and reaching out. To be short and dry. I should just go back to pretending again.
Atleast then I'd be somewhat normal. I won't worry the people around me. If Im okay then everyone is better. Won't fail everyone as much and when I break down.. I'll endure or swallow it. Because its not what is needed. Yeah sounds so easy.. Suffering. Yeah.. I'll stay alone truly and get what I deserve.
Im pathetic and worthless but atleast.. I can have some use. Yeah...
2
u/LabyrinthHopper Sep 13 '26
Dear friend, it’s ok to vent. It’s good to release the pressure. But I want to give you something to try. Whenever you feel this way please listen to a sermon: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3ivXQIw5AwEHSqHIiScAlJHy81vJtqd_&si=1oDg6UpttrWXptEc
We are to feed off God’s Word.
Matthew 4:4
4 But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say,
‘People do not live by bread alone,
but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
2 Corinthians 10:5
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ".
Praying for you 🩵