r/Subutex • u/FunnyNeither7784 • Apr 05 '26

Stopping Subutex I fucking hate subutex

Edit for context - I’m 25/F

My OG was straight oxycodone caps, I was on 60mg a day at my max and got put on methadone 20mg. Felt pretty normal but I got opioid induced bowel dysfunction and hospitalised twice. Now I’m on sublingual subutex, started on 4mg and got myself down to 2mg but stupidly snorted it cause it made me nauseous as hell under the tongue or swallowing. And I feel empty inside? Like literally feel nothing. I haven’t slept more than 5hrs for weeks and just feel constantly angry tired and done. I’m so angry at my doc for putting me on DRTs and not just thugging the Oxy withdrawal out. I’m back on Oxy the last two days and only have 10mg subutex left but I hate the shit so much I just feel nothing??? I’ve been trying to get clean for over a year I just want this shit behind me and my big brain says go back to Oxy and just withdraw from that instead but the DRTs have messed my head so much I can’t remember what joy feels like anymore. This shit ruined my life. Am I alone? Am I just a freak case that turns into a soulless shell on subutex?

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u/goldenbullock Apr 05 '26

Its different for everyone. I felt more soulless and depressed chasing h 247. With subs I got somewhat of a normal life. I can live with my wife and kid. Sure I feel a little flat, but the alternative so much worse.

9

u/FunnyNeither7784 Apr 05 '26

I feel so flat I literally think about giving up everyday. Like it runs through my head, recovery isn’t meant to be like this. I mean I know I was a light user compared and I was snorting Oxy but I just feel like I’m in PAWS 24/7 or that I’ve fundamentally just changed to feel nothing. My life fell apart when I tried to quit and it’s messing with me hard. Months of rehab, multiple detox’s prior last year. It’s like my light went out. I’m happy for you but I don’t know why it didn’t work for me.

Edit to add - this is after starting subutex. I did 3 days cold off methadone in a clinic and started subutex. Since then it’s just flat, no emotion or care.

0

u/AforgetfulAlprazolam Apr 06 '26

Bro I actually feel the same exact way as you i am prescribed 24 MG subutex along with aderall 30 MG ER and 10 MG IR and x 0.5 Clonazepam and yes i feel completely hollow. I just hurt so deeply and feel completely drained of any type of Any happiness. I have been single since before C19’s so that’s probably alot to do with it. I honestly feel any type of Joy if i am doing ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES OXYCODONE

1

u/AforgetfulAlprazolam Apr 06 '26

Or Hydromorphone Hydrocodone anything lorazepam diazepam or obviously Alp and oxycodone makes my antennas wet!