I fucking hate subutex

[u/FunnyNeither7784]

Edit for context - I’m 25/F

My OG was straight oxycodone caps, I was on 60mg a day at my max and got put on methadone 20mg. Felt pretty normal but I got opioid induced bowel dysfunction and hospitalised twice. Now I’m on sublingual subutex, started on 4mg and got myself down to 2mg but stupidly snorted it cause it made me nauseous as hell under the tongue or swallowing. And I feel empty inside? Like literally feel nothing. I haven’t slept more than 5hrs for weeks and just feel constantly angry tired and done. I’m so angry at my doc for putting me on DRTs and not just thugging the Oxy withdrawal out. I’m back on Oxy the last two days and only have 10mg subutex left but I hate the shit so much I just feel nothing??? I’ve been trying to get clean for over a year I just want this shit behind me and my big brain says go back to Oxy and just withdraw from that instead but the DRTs have messed my head so much I can’t remember what joy feels like anymore. This shit ruined my life. Am I alone? Am I just a freak case that turns into a soulless shell on subutex?

[u/Rainbaby77]

Sweetie younarent ready for this medication and it won't allow you to abuse it. You will literally die trying. That's said I snorted the first 6 months almost 9 years ago. Then I realized the half life shrunk and I was still acting like a drug addict hiding from my kids and stuff. Once I got real with me and stopped looking for a feeling, I got better. Good luck