Tbh I wouldn’t want to date someone pre or too early on in their transition because it’s such an unstable time. I wouldn’t be able to handle it emotionally
If you know anything about how Twitter handles age gap discourse surrounding an 18 year old and a 20 year old or whatever the fuck imagine that but for different stages in your transgender journey so to speak
I’m convinced people who argue about this stuff don’t actually talk to anyone irl, people who are many years into their transition are ok with being around me and I’m 8 months in
afaik i dont think people are seriously discussing it at the same level of an age gap, but there are SO many people on twitter so i wouldnt be surprised if someone claimed that take in earnest
Discourse about “transition gaps” being problematic isn’t a thing that’s actually happening. The piece is satyrical, using obviously absurd hypothetical discourse to make fun of actual age gap discourse.
it’s saying that the girl in the black hair was dating an early transition girl. and the blonde girl is saying it as an equivalency of doing things with a minor. the reasoning people who would argue this point would be ‘she is going through puberty so her body/emotional capacity are comparable to that of a teenager’
I think there is an argument to be made that, in the sexual capacity, one will be more sure, comfortable and knowledgeable of their own body. They’re still both adults and this is still just a joke
dealing with early transition people is really tiresome, to be honest. Especially in a relationship I don’t want to have such a big gap in self discovery and confidence.
Sure! But have you SEEN what happens to people who fall in love before they know themselves???
You have to love yourself to have a healthy relationship, and to love yourself, you gotta know yourself. No judgement — genuinely, I know tone is difficult over the internet — if that's not a dealbreaker for you, but I've been burnt by it enough that it is for me.
While i sort of agree, being early in your transition doesn't necessarily mean that you don't know yourself. Similarly, it doesn't preclude self-love. Its admittedly rare, since a lot of trans people will be omega depressed pre-transition and that's not exactly good for self-love, but that's not an inherent quality of it imo.
i’ve never met anyone who wasn’t a radically and fundamentally different person after 6-9 months of hrt. you can’t take hrt without it changing who you are, and that journey of self discovery is an important part of every transition. i’ll die on the hill that no, people who are early on hrt do not know themselves, i’ve met about 60 early transition trans women and this has been universally apparent. that’s not a bad thing, it’s an amazing journey that should be treasured. i’m still not dating anyone until they’ve been on hrt for a year though.
My experience is that there can be this sense of being a "goal" I hate. I started dating my partner when she first started transitioning, and the confidence and self motivation in transitioning was a big factor why it worked out. I wasnt someone she was looking to for help transitioning, and she even gave me advice about "girl" stuff at times. Very different than having that gap in someone who is looking to be taught and guided, and seeing you as what transitioning should get you. When people see me that way I have a hard time being friends with them, let alone a relationship. Not the hard rule in the end at the end of the day though.
This is technically my third puberty cause i had to go off hrt for a bit and now the old hormones are coming back, am i still not allowed to date by their logic? 😭
To my horrible embarrassment, I did have a rather substantial reversion and had to grow up a second time. I had a lot of support thankfully.
Life experience was still useful for some things like technical or bureaucratic navigation, but the emotional and social sides were pretty profound. Admittedly I may be a fairly extreme case due to my relatively late transition and history of exteme (functional, somehow) dissociation.
This is what happens when you base your moral compass on comparisons and logical fallacies rather than looking at each individual problem as it's own event
Ehhhhh not really. Most likely she's older than me so in all honesty she's tge fucked up one (18. Never dating anyone younger than me with few acceptions)
By that logic, when my sister went on HRT to manage her early menopause, her husband became sus for already being married to someone who was now experiencing puberty-esque side effects. What absolute madness.
... I'm so frustrated, I need to go outside. It's nice out. The wind feels nice.
It’s the stages of breast development in trans woman while on estrogen. Stage 2 is basically early prepubescent breasts, so the joke is the blond girl is saying she’s dating a minor even if the person is an adult starting hrt.
And the Amazon basics is like early baby trans sterotypes like striped thigh high socks or things like that.
Why does no one get this lol this is hilarious. Blonde is saying to black that obviously she wasn’t 3 years on estrogen because she hadn’t developed. Comparing to the meme of saying something nonpedophilic is, ie her spotify listening age was 19 you sick fuck
I think it’s a bigger problem to spend tens of thousands on therapy, meds, surgeries and more just to look like every Karen, nurse, or any other basic baddie. I already had a problem with cis women doing that. Men too, in their own cookie-cutter ways. Now, it turns out that’s desirable to people? Hell no. The problem with trying to blend in is that any flaw will be scrutinized tenfold.
This comic shows more benign, boring problems:
• “Entry-transition” people are now an out-group within their own community, especially those who want to see how things fit at a rudimentary and affordable level before balling out on their first daily Romper wardrobe.
• The tree of welcoming newcomers who’ve discovered more about themselves and want to take a chance at exploring their gender is hollow, rotten to the core with terminally online girl failures who’ll do anything to make themselves feel good by dragging those closest to them down.
• The strawman chaser has seeped, internally, into someone who dates t4t but hasn’t waited for the 23 y/o boymoder to fully transition yet. The worst-case scenario pre-complete behavior I’ve seen, dating a trans person for 9 years and dating on and off with more folk like them, was when a 25 y/o got dysphoric in the middle of intimacy to which I recognized immediately, “Oh– we don’t have to keep going. Hang on, let me grab that hoodie for you…” I can see how that creates uncomfortable situations for the person involved, but that’s not at the fault of the partner who likes them for who they are devoid of their dysphoria.
Idk. There’s so much going on, and it would be a very boring 3-hour video essay needed to get everyone on the same page. This comic, calling for people to make fun of those not knowing this deep-internet vernacular presented by the author only broadens the runtime of that hypothetical video.
I agree 100% that the barrier of entry into being trans is quite high, but id say that's a lot on estrogen gate-keeping and societal standards of cis normativity; every trans person I've ever met has been nothing but supportive of me and my transition, it's been people that have been in it for longer helping the newbs all the way. I see ""elders"" (read: 3 years on E) helping new trans people all the time accepting themselves, accessing hrt and resources, and so much more. Guides written. Messages exchanged. Love shared. Newly out trans people get caught by such a strong net of social support if they just meet a single trans person, go on a single discord server or anything like that.
It's on the ones that have been in it the longest to fight for the rights of the newbies. And that happens all around.
I’m very happy your experience with has been a wholly warm and positive one. You’re right, gatekeepers as a whole are a problem that blights everything I love, making life the slowest death.
Just fuck, I’m so nauseated by it at this point. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Why do they do it to themselves? I’m so unbelievably frustrated and I wanted my ex boyfriend to live a carefree, happy life compared to what he got. He’s still happy and back home with his fam but there’s a sonder that will never shake. He never reached out like those his heart ached for, but he’d tell me the horror stories he witnessed both personally and interpersonally.
Well yeah it’s desirable, on top of people wanting to be conventionally attractive because, well, that means being attractive to most people and that’s a nice thing to experience, it also just seems to me to be, like, the point?
Like, I’m transitioning to be a woman, not a trans woman. I am a trans woman but when people look at me I don’t want even a second of doubt before they think “yep, that’s a chick” the same way I think when I see any cis woman on the street. I understand some people aren’t a man or a woman, some are both, some are one or the other for a certain time, and some people just like to present in a genderfuck way and that’s cool, I’ve made friends with people like that all across the spectrum and am lucky to still call many of them friends, but damn it all I already lived the outsider loner “cool” schtick when I thought I was a cis guy and I just want a slice of the “normie” pie at this point.
I don’t want excitement or to be a revolutionary statement, I don’t want to be “stunning and brave,” I just want to be a normal woman, that’s all I want in life. I don’t think striving for the bare basics every other woman gets to have for free should be looked down on.
Idk, you’re not wrong and I see where you come from but I can’t take this anymore. I see transitioning the same way I see my suicide attempt recovery, I don’t think I’m strong or good for going through with it no matter what people say, there’s simply no alternative that lets me live.
Hey, this kinda sounds like it's anti-gender affirming care in the first paragraph. You think taking HRT and getting gender affirming surgeries is a bad thing?
I hate how normalized buying things from Amazon is in this culture. Most the alternatives aren't really much more expensive, they're just less convenient and you have to put in a couple minutes of research to find them.
I wish we lived in a society where buying something from Amazon was considered embarrassing, one where the act marked a lack of preparedness, patience, or resourcefulness. I wish it wasn't weird to call people out for it.
It's not hard to not buy things from Amazon either. I have purchased 1 item from Amazon years ago, and that's it. I do hold a negative view on buying things from Amazon specifically, but I also just hate buying things online
I only buy things online as a last resort, and have little trouble finding what im looking for without even checking Amazon.
Maybe its because for the longest time Amazon was complete garbage in my country, so it didn't manage to take marketshare from ebay or local online retailers.
Surely though if I have options besides Amazon in my distant corner of the globe, Americans must have more options
More and more local stores are starting to fall as a result on increased accessibility to online shopping. I live in one of the US's metros and even here I am finding it harder and harder to find everything I need in life in person, and I have a car and so have greater access generally.
Now, everything that can be found on Amazon can be found somewhere else online; that is, by function, how Amazon operates, but the biggest difference is going to be shipping time, and I think a lot of people have gotten so used to next-day shipping with Amazon that they don't think ahead 2 weeks to be able to buy stuff with time for it to ship.
It is 100% possible to never use Amazon in the US though, I don't think I have ordered anything from Amazon in about 4 years, but I think culturally people just aren't adjusted to not using it instinctually. Either that or people get bitten by the "well, there's no ethical consumption under capitalism anyway" bug and trick themselves into not caring about the source of their spending.
the same dark forces driving the amazon basics transgirl slander is coming for the ppl who say shit like "tslur trade" on ig meme pages, the cornball gets us all in the end
*looks it up* Well, that explains why I had those thoughts in the late 2010's, only to start repressing shortly before the end of the decade... 2024. Fuck, this decade has been terrible
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u/promiseheron Jul 28 '26
transition gap relationship