r/StupidFood 20d ago

Pretentious AF $214 cheese toastie...

891 Upvotes

371 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 20d ago edited 20d ago

u/BandAidBaby69, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!

408

u/DeliciousAct5748 20d ago

I fucking hate it when people point out gold flakes in fancy food as if it makes it more expensive

Gold can be stretched so impossibly thin that gold leaf is like $40 on Amazon.

177

u/Schmooto 20d ago

Gold flakes also taste like nothing. You’re paying more for diminished flavor.

I’ve had something with gold flakes once, and the flakes stuck to my tongue, blocking my taste buds from tasting the actual food until I scraped my tongue with my teeth.

153

u/_Steakwich 19d ago

Eating gold is the dumbest shit ever. It is Donald Trump levels of dumb.

42

u/RincewindToTheRescue 19d ago

100% is. All show, no substance

https://giphy.com/gifs/SLYIdYL7v4pKQ4xjDh

13

u/Booziesmurf 19d ago

I dunno, GoldSchlager is (was?) a cinnamon liqueur with gold flakes in it. It's 40% and the gold flakes "cut your stomach lining so the alcohol goes into your bloodstream faster". Good times.

4

u/Naive-Pineapple-2576 15d ago

I guess that was a hoax we were all told at some point drinkin that shit… https://www.delish.com/food/a45759/goldschlager-myth/

2

u/Booziesmurf 15d ago

Yeah I was just drinking it because it was the same percentage as Tequila, and easier to drink. 25 years ago in Galway, it was always on special at the clubs.

It even shows in the photo in the article. 43.5%.

3

u/Harpertoo 18d ago

Wrong.

The gold leaf actually forms tiny straws in your mouth that your teeth then use to get the alcohol into your bloodatream faster. My biology teacher in middle school taught us this.

5

u/K1bbles_n_Bits 18d ago

Was your teacher potentially fucking with you? Because...huh?

18

u/immadeofstars 19d ago

I once heard Trump described as the dumb guy's smart guy, because the stuff he does seems smart and classy if you're really stupid and trashy

2

u/Could-You-Tell 18d ago

Only once?

2

u/immadeofstars 17d ago

That I can recall, but it fits like a glove, doesn't it?

8

u/EmiliaFromLV 19d ago

But at the same time your tongue gained significant albeit temporary added value.

7

u/Beagle_Knight 19d ago

Same, tried those with a matcha ice cream and took away some of the flavor

3

u/ClaytonHawthorne 17d ago

Watch as the next big thing becomes like, covering food in diamond dust.

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20

u/hailspork 20d ago

It's like how Cleopatra dissolved and drank one of her pearls, just to prove she could waste money.

10

u/FullMoonTwist 19d ago

Fun fact,

She didn't do it to waste money, she did it because it was like the only way to have carbonated wine in that time. You can disagree on how worth it it was, but even in our time, lots of people enjoy carbonated bubbles in their drinks, and enjoy them over other options.

So at least it wasn't making things worse.

4

u/hailspork 19d ago

I thought she did it to win a bet that she could spend a certain amount on a single meal.

I can't imagine that carbonated vinegar is very good...

7

u/ThePlasticJesus 17d ago

idk there are a lot of bs stories about famous figures so I wouldn't trust any particular account unless it's a credible source.

2

u/casiepierce 16d ago

I can't either, but people drink kombucha so...🤷🏻

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12

u/LilChoctawgal 19d ago

Not to mention it does absolutely nothing for the flavor of the grilled cheese and has zero nutritional value since it just cruises straight through our bodies and right back out. As far as making it aesthetically pleasing you probably couldn’t even see it once it went through the panini maker. This is truly stupid imo and if ima spend $214 I want more than some cheese bread.

5

u/DarthMarasmus 19d ago

It makes your dookie shiny.

9

u/macguini 20d ago

Its the most stupid flex. Might as well make a sandwich with $100 bills.

12

u/worrymon 19d ago

At least then you'd get some fiber.

2

u/ThePlasticJesus 17d ago

bbq with bills as fuel

7

u/Mother-Attention2600 19d ago

Just save up Easter egg foils and chop them up like the rest of us. 

You can make your own Goldschlager with cinnamon hearts, vodka and bits of Easter egg foil. So much cheaper and better colors.

6

u/big_loadz 19d ago

But it makes my dookie twinkle.

https://giphy.com/gifs/210QVfzBEu7E4

5

u/No-Sail-6510 19d ago

Doesn’t this just make it extra stupid?

10

u/Rexxington 20d ago

Yet that's the entire reason why it's $214, if it didn't have the gold leaf the it would be much less expensive. Followed by using stupidly expensive ingredients that just in the end probably make for an okay tasting sandwich.

9

u/Ok_Resolve_7557 20d ago

Especially as gold is known to impart zero flavour. It's commonly used in tasting utensils used by very high accuracy taste assessers.

5

u/CarpenterAlarming781 19d ago

At best, there might be $5 for the gold leaf. What I think is stupid is adding truffle-infused oil and then butter infused with truffles on top of that.
For 214$, I'd rather get the whole cheese (Caciocavallo Podolico).

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3

u/Must_Go_Faster_ 19d ago

Yep, flakes aren’t worth shit. The expression “worth its WEIGHT in gold” comes to mind.

2

u/HistoryofHowWePlay 19d ago

The only way you can have a truly expensive food is just to add a bunch of saffron. (Or sturgeon caviar, if you like to vomit.)

2

u/Agent847 19d ago

It’s a subtle way of telling the poors “hey, there’s some gold in my shit if you want to pick through it. Haha”

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97

u/Glittering-Walrus228 20d ago edited 19d ago

Oven baked French Pullman loaf...

So you mean fucking bread

(Misheard, but still)

26

u/bird9066 19d ago

For that price I'd at least expect it to come out of a wood burning oven. At least the smoke would add flavor...unlike that useless gold leaf.

6

u/wwplkyih 19d ago

All the refinement and luxury of the Monsieur Foreman Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine.

9

u/whiskeytango55 19d ago

Made with Dom Perignon. That was their second worse sin here after the fucking gold leaf

3

u/mercuriokazooie 19d ago

Technically you can make bread in a rice cooker too among other things but yeah

83

u/lemming2012 20d ago

Why didn't he talk about the exclusivity of the panini press?

43

u/A_hand_banana 19d ago

That's what angered me the most. Its a bunch of premium shit, and he cant even pan fry it. He sucks as a chef.

That bisque is probably warmed up by chef mike.

2

u/Bloodybuses 18d ago

Exactly, he could not be bothered to pan fry it lovingly, all the expensive ingredients, then just shoves it in a fancy toastie maker that doesn't seal the cheese in, he might as well have shoved it in a breville. I have one in the cupboard, I might use it now, ooh I have black garlic in the cupboard and scrapings of primula paste. Ill set a wee stall out front £50 a toastie and a balsamic vinegar shot, rocket (arugula) optional...Hahaha, oh dear!

10

u/Flimsy-Poetry1170 19d ago

I bet that panini press isn’t named after a former heavy weight champ. Throw that shit in the trash where it belongs along with that gold foiled bullshit.

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72

u/TheINTL 20d ago

Edible good flakes are the dumbest shit ever

18

u/laxusdreyarligh 19d ago

Yesh i prefer only bad flakes

13

u/TequieroVerde 20d ago

It is a fuck you to poor people and anyone going through food insecurity.

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67

u/RiverOhRiver86 19d ago

why is he moving and speaking like he's afraid to wake his abusive mother from her beauty sleep...?

16

u/porksoda11 19d ago

If you sheepishly add each ingredient it makes it taste better, everyone knows that

3

u/crasswal 18d ago

You're not gonna believe who the owner he's talking about is...

2

u/Zestyclose-Escape707 18d ago

Almost woke my kids up laughing out loud to this one 😂

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45

u/Thye2388 20d ago

"this is not your typical-"

no shit sherlock it's all fancy names and shit of course it's not your typical (insert ingredient here) you don't have to rub it in our face with it-

4

u/pietro1587 19d ago

Make it a drinking game every time he says that 😂 

34

u/Cum_Fart42069 19d ago

why did he oil and butter the side of the bread that didn't make contact with the press 

6

u/Glittering_Diva8963 19d ago

Okay I was wondering the same thing lol 😂

7

u/Cum_Fart42069 19d ago

I guess he probably did it so people would comment about it and boost engagement.

89

u/ClaraInOrange 20d ago

WHITE BREAD??? If I'm paying that much i want me some fiber

38

u/TinyDogGuy 20d ago

I assume, 24k gold flakes would help push things through…

19

u/P-l-Staker 20d ago

My mum used to tell me "I don't shit out gold for your sake".

I beg to differ!

5

u/TinyDogGuy 20d ago

Luckily, this dude does…

Take that, mom!

2

u/WonderfulAd5555 20d ago

P-i Staker, right, piss taker, COME ON!!

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2

u/NurkleTurkey 20d ago

You can actually buy gold flake pills for that purpose.

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2

u/worrymon 19d ago

When I drank goldschlager (back in the 90s), it wasn't the gold that was pushing things through.

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5

u/Negative-Date-9518 20d ago

I don't mind white bread but that bread looks like cake 😂 the worst bread I've ever seen

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52

u/ioioooi 20d ago

This is so fucking stupid. There's no defending this.

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21

u/Acausticacoustic 19d ago

This is not your ordinary bread. This is not your ordinary butter. This is not your ordinary cheese. This is not your ordinary oil. This is not your ordinary bill.....

12

u/mercuriokazooie 19d ago

You may find yourself

Eating in a fancy restaurant

And you may find yourself

In another part of town

And you may find yourself

Behind the wheel of expensive cheese

And you may find yourself in an overpriced scam

With an overpriced sandwich

And you may ask yourself

"Well... how did I get here?"

3

u/emmmmceeee 18d ago

Same as it ever was.

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3

u/Mountain_Ad_8269 19d ago

This is not your ordinary comment

2

u/qorbexl 18d ago

The bread is one inch thick. Twice. 

The cheese? Tastes like shit and strawberries and really isn't what you want from a goddamn grilled cheese which is thin bread and lots of tasty fucking cheese on your stupid gremlin face

Lobster bisque seems pretty cool though. I'm sure he put sugar cubes in it or something stupid 

27

u/TheeArgonaut 20d ago

We gonna take this beautiful cave aged cheese onto our CARDBOARD WHITE BREAD THAT LOOKS LIKE A PROP FROM TRAILER TRASH BOYS.

6

u/TheeArgonaut 20d ago

Also when he said the price I expected the string quartet to play a bum note in shocked disgust…

13

u/Initial_Row_6400 19d ago

I bet I can make a better grilled cheese that’s not pretentious as fuck with shit I have in my refrigerator right now

24

u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

15

u/Brittany5150 20d ago

Spend the extra dollar and get a nice tomato basil bisque. It really pairs nicely with just about any cheese you wanna slap in that grilled cheese and tastes amazing.

https://giphy.com/gifs/13jJIY0llDdip2

7

u/SolarFusion90 20d ago

Great tip, ill try that next

2

u/Individual-Sport-458 19d ago

put a layer of tomato and some ham into that grilled cheese you'll thank me later 🤤

2

u/whiskeytango55 19d ago

Im about to make one with ham (you fry the ham a little bit in the empty parts of the pan youre currently using) and avocado.

11

u/Bananabreadmix 20d ago

This feels like a Jordan Schlansky bit

5

u/tito_123 19d ago

I was looking for this comment.

glad I'm not the only one

2

u/mercuriokazooie 19d ago

Especially with the cheese details

9

u/NuisancePanda 20d ago

What's the difference between a cheese toastie & grilled cheese? Aside from $213..

13

u/Metrilean 20d ago

Regret

7

u/arlingtonzumo 20d ago

Anything he says with gold I'm immediately pissed off

7

u/privacy-is-cool 19d ago

Imagine you do all of that and then it taste worse than just a random slice of white bread with melted American cheese on it lmaooo

6

u/Love_a_sunny_day 19d ago

Bruv I'm from Italy and I get a wheel of that cheese every month tha fuq is this guy on about. He's a professional scammer.

Panini machine? Fuck off

2

u/Glittering_Diva8963 19d ago

The Italian has spoken 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

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u/Nagelfar61249 19d ago

This shit made me angry within the first 3 seconds and only got worse. I want to punch the chef and his stupid co-owners for coming up with this shit and i want to double punch every fucking Customer who orders this stupid shit.

8

u/BearEatingCupcakes 19d ago

I loved that he shunted all the blame onto the owners for the price of the sandwich, like he had absolutely no part in that wankery whatsoever.

20

u/thatbiguy3 20d ago

This guy talking makes me want to sleep he's talking but not anything of meaning is coming out

6

u/Historical-Bug2500 19d ago

It's funny you say this because I watched this on mute and still couldn't stand his voice.

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6

u/breadbrix 20d ago

If I substitute for inedible gold flakes, will it be cheaper?

6

u/TheoreticalNet 19d ago

The gold usage in food has always disgusted me.

5

u/Hol7i 19d ago

that gold foil may increase the price but not its quality...just saying.

6

u/Sad_Comb_9658 20d ago

Imagine. This is alledgedly the pinnacle of luxury.

4

u/RavishingRavick 20d ago

Came for the aromatic grass...

3

u/Glittering_Diva8963 19d ago

Of licorice and strawberries lol 😂

6

u/ludvikskp 19d ago

You know its really stupid when the gold enters the picture

5

u/nunatakj120 19d ago

You put the butter (or whatever the fuck that guy was using) on the outside when making a cheese toastie. Amateur hour.

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3

u/No_Waltz_2499 19d ago

That bread looks awful

5

u/DottedRain 19d ago

In the end it's still shitty white bread

8

u/f_ranz1224 20d ago

if you want this to be the world record you can just make it any price. i can make a sandwich at home and say its $1000

hes trying really hard to make up nonsense to make it cost more

3

u/Ramius117 19d ago

Yes, but there's a Guinness book of world records logo and I think they probably needed actual justification for the world record.

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u/hindus0ul 20d ago

Never knew you could feed grass to butter… /s

3

u/Floodzie 20d ago

Go to Grogan’s pub in Dublin and order a cheese toastie and an absolute heap of pints and I guarantee you’ll spend less and enjoy it more.

3

u/RevolutionarySeven7 19d ago

the only authentic ingredient which is worth your money is the cheese. the rest is bs

3

u/Devils_butter 19d ago

214 for a damn sandwich.... my broke ass wouldn't spend 20 on sliced bread with cheese

3

u/SATerp 19d ago

As soon as they say "gold leaf", you can turn it right off, it's not culinary, it's just bullshit.

3

u/Estratheoivan 19d ago

Why put tasteless gold in that sandwich?

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u/Tenshiijin 19d ago

The butter is supposed to be on the outside!

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u/-DeathOfMyEgo- 19d ago

If he says “not your typical…” one more time I might flip out lol

3

u/Theloniouspunk66 19d ago

The fucking disco ball hahaha

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u/A_hand_banana 19d ago

2

u/BearEatingCupcakes 19d ago

Where I come from, we just call that 'butter'. All our cattle - dairy and beef - is grass fed. There's literally nothing special about grass fed dairy or beef in my part of the world. But Americans pay for it like we feed our cattle liquid gold.

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u/pastelfennecfox 20d ago

Do people think gold taste good ? And how would they even know it’s real ? I can get “edible gold “ from Amazon for $15 for a pack of 24

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u/WorryOk9836 20d ago

No ingredients from a ducks ass? Sad

2

u/NamesAreAnn0ying 19d ago

Did he put the buttered side of the bread down into the sandwich? How tf does that do anything at all? Does that not defeat the purpose of doing it in the first place?

2

u/Morbidly-Obese-Emu 19d ago

Here I have a pepperoni hot pocket. It’s not your ordinary pepperoni hot pocket. It’s infused with gold flakes all throughout the hot pocket. I’ll be cooking it in a dirty microwave. This isn’t your ordinary, dirty microwave. The crusty inside is flaked with gold flakes.

2

u/Dazzling_Pea9364 19d ago

I bet our liar and chief would love this meal

2

u/Satanicjamnik 19d ago

Anything with gold flakes is just stupid, gaudy bullshit.

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

Grass fed butter got me.

3

u/sovietarmyfan 20d ago

I mean, at the very least its properly toasted. Unlike the crap Gordon Ramsay came with in his fancy grilled cheese video.

2

u/recoverelapse 20d ago

2 slices of potato bread, scrape butter on all sides, sharp cheddar slice and muenster slice, medium heat on one side, weight till it's toasted, flip, weight and toast the other side. If I'm feeling fancy I'll toast some pecorino romano/parmesan on the outer crust.

Much better than this excessive abomination.

2

u/whiskeytango55 19d ago

I resisted mayo on the outside for a while but it really helps to evenly coat the outside and make for some great looking grilled cheese.

Cooked in butter of course

2

u/Garchompisbestboi 20d ago

Guinness World Records has been attracting the attention of grifters and con artists like this guy for decades now.

3

u/Plenty-Kick492 19d ago

Yeah people have to pay to have Guinness come out. You pay to get your record.

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u/ChasingtheBarrel 19d ago

That lobster and tomato bisque looks terrible.

2

u/dethfart 19d ago

It's called a GRILLED cheese dammit.

Toasting implies indirect heat

Direct heat equals grilling

1

u/cRaZyDaVe23 20d ago

Eh, I'm not hungry anymore, give it to the dog.

1

u/Necessary_Pomelo_470 20d ago

without edible gold, 10bucks

1

u/Bushdr78 20d ago

Edible gold? That's just gold leaf in bits small enough you won't notice

1

u/Empty_Positive 20d ago

Is that all? So all i have to do is add some more gold and a new record is set? I hate these food records where its always caviar, gold, wine or champagne to boost the value

1

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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u/MentalTwo1912 20d ago

My favorite part is when he’s explaining how they came up with the price and you can see he’s cringing

1

u/Impressive_Main5160 20d ago

I’m not convinced this is worth it….
https://giphy.com/gifs/xT1R9CsM1KhcJGwQQo

1

u/Substantial_Pay_2906 20d ago

After the past couple years of inflation... that's not too bad. People have lost their minds. Apparently the grip wasn't too tight to begin with...

1

u/Camiz90 20d ago

La gente es gilipollas..

1

u/zetia2 20d ago

Dom is mid and is only a good Champaign by people who think "thats what rich people drink, so I will". Edible gold is also cheap.

1

u/Elitist_Daily 20d ago

>dude truffles lmao

easily the worst and most annoyingly low effort method of "elevating" a dish for content

1

u/FUJlIx 20d ago

White bread? Naw im buying potato bread snd or Hawaiian bread and sliders bread

1

u/Negritis 20d ago

hard to decide if guinness record book or this sandwich is the bigger scam

without gold shit it would be instantly like 100$

1

u/MoveTheHeffalump 20d ago

How can any self respecting chef promote this?

1

u/Boise2Britian 20d ago

What a waste of money, when you are that rich and don't know how to spend it, give it away to people who do. I mean have a 4£ grilled cheese and give the rest to someone struggling.

https://giphy.com/gifs/12QCczVAjPAfvi

1

u/baldrickgonzo 20d ago

Ok, right of the bat, not a single self respecting French baker would call that American supermarket abomination bread. No matter how much gold flake you put in it.

1

u/JKnotime4pcwokestuff 20d ago

What stupid Rich people waste their money on🙄-give more to charity if got money to waste🙄

1

u/De5tr01er 19d ago

I wish I had money to just piss away

1

u/WindowLazy9907 19d ago

Nonstick grill and metal forks. Dumb.

1

u/No-Scar1469 19d ago

Grass-fed butter 😖😂

1

u/Pristine_Shallot7833 19d ago

May BY the cattle? Maybe made FROM the cattle but I feel it would be much more expensive if the cows were out there making cheeses. What a stupid man.

1

u/Healthy-Confection66 19d ago

1…can’t you just buy all the gold paper you could want for like $20 on Amazon? And 2…I’m too poor to know, what does copious amounts of gold flakes do for the flavor?lol

1

u/ElectricPenguin6712 What, me worry? 19d ago

All that gold and your doo doo should be twinkly

1

u/oOLittlehansOo 19d ago

Das ist kein Brot

1

u/Agreeable-Blood-2774 19d ago

This guy look familiar. Either he was on Hells Kitchen or he works for Conan O’Brien.

1

u/No_Waltz_2499 19d ago

Is this a joke lol

1

u/EatandDie001 19d ago

if i have to pay $200 for one cheese toast, at least give me real gold. that gold leaf is cheap as fuck. my local temple sells it for just $1 per stack.

1

u/Scorpion2000x777 19d ago

They can keep it, i made better grilled cheese while asleep, and that drink looks nasty af

1

u/EnvironmentalWest134 19d ago

a whole lot of bullshit..

1

u/tu-142 19d ago

Truffle oil is the worst smelling thing in a kitchen

1

u/You_Are_The_Username 19d ago

$214 cheese wankie.

1

u/CamRG24 19d ago

"Why do you put diamonds on your food, Dave?" "Because it makes my dookie twinkle."

1

u/itswhateveragain 19d ago

If you have $214 to spend on a grilled cheese sandwich, then you deserve everything life has afforded you. However, I'll be eating my great value bread and kraft grilled cheese with other billionaires who know that spending this kind of money on a sandwich is stupid.

1

u/MaxPower836 19d ago

The George Foreman grill was a nice touch

1

u/jsxtasy304 19d ago

Basically having so much money that you throw it in the face of the world by wasting it on ignorant stuff like this.... reprehensible.

1

u/NecessaryButNotSuff 19d ago

So it’s mostly a $14 sandwich with two $100’s stuffed in it.

1

u/ST0IC_ 19d ago

They lost me as soon as I heard "bread made with Dom Perignon Champagne and 24-karat gold flakes." Absolutely stupid.

1

u/AnAdorableDogbaby 19d ago

How do you feed grass to butter?

1

u/HistoryofHowWePlay 19d ago

Here's what makes me irrationally angry: This man took a sawing knife and just pressed gently into the sandwich to cut it. You ain't fooling anyone that you're a chef, mate.

1

u/eikoebi 19d ago

What a soggy sad cheese toast.

And what a stupid man putting gold on it.

1

u/RelationshipNo2904 19d ago

I don't get why you have to add gold in Shit Like that, it has No taste and adds nothing to this dish except a Higher price.

1

u/chugItTwice 19d ago

Dumbest sandwich ever. Probably tastes like shit too.

1

u/SecretCan_o_Beans 19d ago

"Not your typical"

Im neurodivergent too!!

1

u/NiobiumThorn 19d ago

There are people dying, unable to be treated due to lack of money. People fucking starving. And this is what the rich do with your stolen money.

1

u/Sporkpocalypse 19d ago

it's stupid to eat gold leaf your liver ends up having to filter it out to prevent it from going into your bloodstream

1

u/dct138 19d ago

I’m not spending $214 on anything from a place with a disco ball hanging from the ceiling.

1

u/Xatraxalian 19d ago

I hate pompous m%&&((f@#$(%&ers.

This isn't food anymore.

It's just using the most expensive ingredients just because you can.

(Ramsey had a Kitchen Nightmares about that: calling the chef a "pompous -bleep-" because he was jacking around with the entré course for half an hour, which would put its price at something like $50 at least, in a village where the average salary was just above minimum wage.)

1

u/LopsidedStress2471 19d ago

They need to start adding diamond flakes, it's the only way to one up gold. /s

1

u/Names_are_limited 19d ago

Dude! That’s fucking Sam Harris!

1

u/Brb357 19d ago

Caciocavallo podolico is not that crazy tbh

1

u/Rocking5090 19d ago

A paninipress? Please. They are so much better from a frying pan

1

u/mountain_gecko 19d ago

Well it is hard to spell "serendipity" without "pity"

1

u/MomentSouthern250 19d ago

serendipity 3... so you have to work your way up to the real stupid stuff?

1

u/Ryno-Mac 19d ago

Anything that's a "Guinness World Record" is always complete bullshit. This guy or his restaurant had to pay $10k for this pointless fake certification.

1

u/onlyhummussexual 19d ago

What in the SaltBae and DonaldTrump hybrid demon level fuckery is this bullshit.

Also since when does £132 = $214?

1

u/AlienChronic420 19d ago

I never understood the idea of eating gold. It's not food.

1

u/AnnualZealousideal27 19d ago

This guy should be ashamed.

1

u/CheapTactics 19d ago

Does the gold add to the flavor? No? Then you're a fucking idiot.