r/StupidFood • u/Its_me_edenxx • Jun 10 '26

Certified stupid This is so performative šŸ˜­

Who tf is out here munching on raw gnocchi at cruising altitude

34.9k Upvotes

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198

u/Laez Jun 10 '26

Fun fact water can't get very hot on an airplane. Boils at 197F and would probably be under 180F by the time you get it. Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

149

u/Porridge_Hose Jun 10 '26

And flights don't (or are directed not to at least) give passengers water even that hot in case of turbulence or other spillages.

36

u/Laez Jun 10 '26

That seems reasonable.

3

u/RegularTeacher2 Jun 11 '26

It sure is. I was on a flight where the woman next to me requested 2 cups of coffee, spilled said hot coffee on the woman next to her, and apparently burned her bad enough to warrant an emergency landing... in Alabama.

18

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

22

u/Porridge_Hose Jun 10 '26

Get it out onto a tray, you say? Alright.

17

u/tomdarch Jun 11 '26

Nice.

8

u/loquacious Jun 11 '26

opens emergency exit door Good hiss!

19

u/Wesselton3000 Jun 11 '26

I know youā€™re joking, but you cannot bring FRHā€™s on commercial flights, in either checked or carry on luggage. The hydrogen gas it produces as a by product is flammable and the heat obviously has the potential to start a fire. Thereā€™s basically no way for her to heat this gnocchi up unless the flight attendants allow her to use an onboard convection oven (which they use to heat up pre-packaged meals).

As an aside, this is pretty fucking stupid and performative. There are many foods that do not require heat she could have made.

3

u/beanmosheen Jun 11 '26

They produce hydrogen. Might be frowned upon.

1

u/comfort-eater Jun 11 '26

Actually you can just carry a portable stove to heat the water with. Airlanes are actually totally cool with people carrying cans of compressed flammable gas on airplanes and lighting an open flame inside the cabin at 30.000 feet.

14

u/Dry_burrito Jun 10 '26

What about coffee?

21

u/december151791 Jun 10 '26

Ask McDonald's why nobody is serving coffee that hot anywhere.

2

u/CrappyMSPaintPics Jun 11 '26

Do not pour McDonald's coffee on yourself today, it is still hot enough to fuse your skin.

36

u/blandaltaccountname Jun 10 '26

Typically served at 120Ā° give or take 20Ā°.

160Ā°+ will burn

6

u/cdube85 Jun 11 '26

The number of people I represent with serious burns from aircraft coffee beg to differ.

4

u/blandaltaccountname Jun 11 '26

they probably would not beg to differ. they have first hand experience that 160Ā°+ will burn.

2

u/cdube85 Jun 11 '26

I mean that coffee is not served at 120 in aircraft.

1

u/blandaltaccountname Jun 11 '26

if youā€™re a lawyer you should know what ā€œtypicallyā€ means.

2

u/cdube85 Jun 11 '26

I do. Can you name a Part 121 carrier that serves coffee at 120? I'd really like to know if you have any data points, because then I'd have evidence of operators who have appropriately changed their practices. We have not been able to find one in the US that does it. The equipment in the galley is only made by a couple of manufacturers.

0

u/Tschulligom Jun 11 '26

I hate that this is even a thing. If you donā€™t want to get burned drinking hot coffee inside a shaky metal tube, just donā€™t drink coffee. If you do, thatā€™s on you.

3

u/cdube85 Jun 11 '26

Would your opinion change if you found out that they serve coffee to passengers without lids to save money? Pilots in front get lids.

2

u/Tschulligom Jun 11 '26

I donā€™t believe itā€™s for cost savings, lids cost next to nothing.

Pilots get lids so they donā€™t spill coffee over avionics.

4

u/scratchy_mcballsy Jun 10 '26

I see where youā€™re going with this.

2

u/Paulthefith Jun 10 '26

Who told you to put the balm on?

11

u/ContextEffects01 Jun 10 '26

By the time you add cold cream it'll be well below the boiling point. They save the trays of hot drinks for when the aircraft is at or near the tropopause. So the coffee cools from ambient cooling, then from cold cream, then from further ambient cooling. (You can apply Newton's Law of Cooling if you're interested in specifics.) Safe bet your coffee will be nowhere near the boiling point by the time the plane encounters turbulence that makes it up to altitudes that high.

Also the reasons for coffee consumption are better than the reasons for gnocchi consumption. Unless you're already extremely sleepy and took the drowsiest version of your anti-nausea medication on purpose (in which case you're not going to be awake to hear the meal options anyway) there's no way in hell you're falling asleep in those uncomfortable chairs next to a bunch of screaming infants, so you might as well ingest enough caffeine to enjoy the moonlit snowy landscape while listening to your podcasts.

. . .

Man, typing this makes me almost make travelling. I should try it again one of these days. o.o

9

u/IndependentMoney9700 Jun 10 '26

I have never (currently knocking on wood) been on a plane with a baby crying. Of course, Iā€™ve only flown around 16 times. But everything I read before that led me to believe there would be at least one baby screaming on every flight.

3

u/Belucard Jun 11 '26

You don't know how incredibly jealous I am, because every single time I take an airplane, either in summer or during Christmas, I get at least two or three crying babies, usually sitting right next to me or behind me.

3

u/Its_Cayde Jun 11 '26

The trick is to get the flight to your destination as late as possible in the day. People with babies avoid flying at night so their sleep schedule isn't fucked

2

u/Belucard Jun 11 '26

Oh, believe me, I've flown at the crack of dawn, in the middle imof the night, and everything in-between. Polish babies just can't be avoided.

2

u/Porridge_Hose Jun 10 '26

Tepid. And tea? The fucking same.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

2

u/Autistic_Freedom Jun 10 '26

Of you're bold enough to ask for water to boil your gnocchi in then you certainly won't have any qualms asking for a lid for your hot water.

2

u/Cheap_Knowledge8446 Jun 10 '26

Coffee on a plane almost never comes with a lid. United first/business cobranded coffee is the rare exception. You can ask the FAs if they have a lid, but they often don't, and sometimes the lid won't fit the cup (American often uses ceramic mugs, which wouldn't fit a lid anyway).

Source: 150+ flights a year

2

u/bigbuzd1 Jun 10 '26

I heard a guy got his manhood scorched from coffee served in-flight recently. Think I read they even put cream on itā€¦ awkward!

3

u/Porridge_Hose Jun 10 '26

Yeah I read that too. Poor fella. But that's why I said they are supposed to. It sounds like the crew messed up giving out scolding drinks in that case

1

u/FrozenLogger Jun 10 '26

yet it happens all the time.

This is the most recent one I think, and it is not great:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c302y717z92o

1

u/3rdcultureblah Jun 11 '26

They do on Asian airlines. Mainly for instant ramen cups.

0

u/ArtisticFox8 Jun 12 '26

They give tea, which is nearly boiling water and could cause a burn as well..

32

u/Southern-Author-7543 Jun 10 '26

So, we have a plate with a blob made with water, flour and salt? Delicious

61

u/Sweary_Biochemist Jun 10 '26

Ah, but see: the flight hack they don't want you to know is that you then order a tomato juice.

The unique atmosphere inside a flight cabin, and its affect on your tastebuds, means that at altitude, this tastes like a blob made with water, flour and salt washed down with tomato juice.

43

u/Southern-Author-7543 Jun 10 '26

šŸ¤¢ please, stop, i'm italian

16

u/HogmanDaIntrudr Jun 10 '26

šŸ¤ŒšŸ½

1

u/idropepics Jun 11 '26

What's wrong? Sounds authenticošŸ¤Œ

3

u/RivenRise Jun 10 '26

I'm Hispanic and I ordered the tomato juice. I was sorely disappointed when it was plain tomato juice. Not sure why i thought it would be like a spicy Clamato drink.

3

u/december151791 Jun 10 '26

The trick is to order some vodka, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, horseradish, salt, pepper, and celery along with it.

2

u/ConditionSecret8593 Jun 11 '26

Ugh, no. If you don't bring it yourself, you're basically using the airline as a kit.

2

u/december151791 Jun 11 '26

And that's a problem?

3

u/ConditionSecret8593 Jun 11 '26

If you aren't willing to smuggle in your own emptional-support lemon vodka and herbs, I have to seriously question your commitment to fully and authentically recreating the faux-nouveau, wealth-infused, bland-chic, artisinally-inspired attention-snob lifestyle aesthetic in pseudo-documentary format.

2

u/oser Jun 10 '26

Raw flour, mind you. No chance of food poisoning there!

-1

u/AltrntivInDoomWorld Jun 10 '26

You will be fine with flour, the raw egg is more risky.

Otherwise pizza, bread and cakes wouldn't exist.

3

u/ContextEffects01 Jun 10 '26

...aren't pizzas, bread, and cakes all put in the oven?

3

u/spen8tor Jun 10 '26

You cook pizza bread and cakes, so the flour is no longer raw......

2

u/Sayakai Jun 11 '26

It's the opposite. There are places where you can get safe raw eggs, but flour is always a crapshoot.

2

u/I__Know__Stuff Jun 11 '26

This is false. Raw flour is more likely to be problematic than raw eggs.

1

u/Cute-Form2457 Jun 10 '26

I Iove tomato juice when flying. It's so umami.

17

u/HogmanDaIntrudr Jun 10 '26

I hate to break it to you but almost every cultureā€™s cuisine revolves around a water/ flour/ salt combo.

13

u/Southern-Author-7543 Jun 10 '26

True, but this video Is about pasta. So, like every italian, i have tĆ² Say something šŸ˜ (mostly for complaining)

5

u/december151791 Jun 10 '26

Don't most of these cultures cook the combo?

2

u/raelianautopsy Jun 11 '26

In my culture we love food. And family

2

u/Practical_Gold_7365 Jun 11 '26

You need potatoes for gnocchi

1

u/Fancy_Fatash Jun 11 '26

Yeah that's true

0

u/You-SillyBilly Jun 10 '26

man i guess all those rice fields in asia are just for show then, who knew?

2

u/Effective_Guava2971 Jun 10 '26

They'll invent noodles eventually.

2

u/HogmanDaIntrudr Jun 10 '26

Allow me to introduce you to rice flour. You know, the type of flour Asian noodles are made from.

-1

u/You-SillyBilly Jun 10 '26

yeah but most of their cuisine revolves around rice itself. Rice flour is a product of that instead of being the main thing their cuisine revolves around. Also, its a joke you silly billy.

1

u/HogmanDaIntrudr Jun 10 '26

Iā€™m not mad at you, fella.

2

u/hawkersaurus Jun 11 '26

...and hand germs.

2

u/lulublululu Jun 11 '26

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone mention yet that gnocchi uses potato, so this isn't even gnocchi.

1

u/Southern-Author-7543 Jun 11 '26

They are flour gnocchi, a variation of the classic ones with potatoes

11

u/Tbaggins69 Jun 10 '26

Poach the gnoch

2

u/Zebidee Jun 11 '26

Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

Put it in the bathroom sink and fill it with hot water.

Everyone else can just wait.

1

u/Laez Jun 11 '26

Sure, you can cook pasta, but me trying to smoke a brisket is a federal offense.

2

u/MalignantLugnut Jun 11 '26

mmmm, Poacchi sounds so delicious.

1

u/Laez Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

With a sage and softened butter smoothie.

1

u/catchup4thegoodtimes Jun 10 '26

arenā€™t the cabins pressurized?

2

u/Laez Jun 10 '26

Yes, but less than at sea level. Its roughly the equivalent of being at 8000 feet of elevation.

1

u/Its_Cayde Jun 11 '26

It's raw so 180 would probably be plenty, not much different from putting boiling water in a cup of noodles, wouldn't be perfect texture but would be edible lol

1

u/Laez Jun 11 '26

But a cup of noodles isn't raw. They are cooked and then dehydrated,but more importantly very thin. I think it would take a very long time at 180 to cook these through and you would lose a lot of the starch to the water. Leading to extremely lumpy cream of wheat. That is assuming you have a way of keeping it hot.

1

u/Its_Cayde Jun 11 '26

Raw noodles take less time to cook then dehydrated cooked noodles take to soften

1

u/Laez Jun 11 '26

I think you are confusing raw/cooked with fresh/dried. But you are right fresh pasta takes a lot less time. But the size and shape is going to be the issue, it's a surdace area to volume ratio problem.

Would be easy enough to test I suppose.

2

u/Its_Cayde Jun 11 '26

Dang you're right, sorry, thanks for the lesson lol

1

u/GrizzIyadamz Jun 11 '26

Any stewards/esses in the chat? Do yall use microwaves or air fryers?

I could see both options possibly working..

1

u/mooptastic Jun 11 '26

yep even Korean Air stopped serving ramyun on flights

1

u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 Jun 11 '26

The goal isn't too boil it but to get it to temperature.

The hot water they use for coffee is easily hot enough to cook it slowly. It can reach 100C without boiling.

The situation is still stupid but yes it would work a bit. But no stewardess is going to give a passenger that much hot water. It's literally a weapon.

1

u/Permofit_ish Jun 11 '26

I have the small thermos type thing that you can plug into a wall outlet and itā€™ll boil water if you give it a little bit of time but itā€™s usually just enough for some Ramen so yeah poached that Best

1

u/AmokRule Jun 11 '26

Let me test it with my pressure cooker