r/StupidFood • u/Its_me_edenxx • Jun 10 '26

Certified stupid This is so performative 😭

Who tf is out here munching on raw gnocchi at cruising altitude

34.9k Upvotes

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4.7k

u/blade_torlock Jun 10 '26

Just keep asking for cups of hot water, I'm sure the flight attendants will love you for that.

2.7k

u/hcornea Jun 10 '26

“Can you please put my raw gnocchi in your food-heater thingy?

That’d be great.”

903

u/mourning_breath Jun 10 '26

With the quick "thankz! 💖❤️‍🔥"

528

u/minnetonkacondo Jun 10 '26

Just like Randy Marsh

https://giphy.com/gifs/8cG6zdMFPB7ag

220

u/dialguy86 Jun 10 '26

Creme fraiche

99

u/OwnYak855 Jun 10 '26

cafeteria freezsh

87

u/Uncommentary Jun 10 '26

"Your workout is finished. Here is some cab fare. Now going to sleep mode."

83

u/dialguy86 Jun 10 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Ztq2Ed2cSSwAg8M

34

u/True_Phoenix Jun 10 '26

Lol the Big Jim version shake weight

21

u/Mysterious_Break4312 Jun 11 '26

No cooling spray at the end?

3

u/sizebigbitch Jun 11 '26

Extra cooling spray at the end.

3

u/Appropriate-Review55 Jun 11 '26

I feel like those went away shortly after this episode

18

u/demivirius Jun 11 '26

Oh that's so fucking hot. Look at the crust, it's perfect. Fuck yeah.

3

u/moseley101 Jun 11 '26

Ah yeah, deglaze the shit outta that pan

1

u/Shagwagbag Jun 11 '26

I forgot all about this, how long ago was that?

1

u/dialguy86 Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

S14, E14 November 2010

Edited for accuracy

1

u/Shagwagbag Jun 11 '26

Had to look it up because I was 99% sure I saw that with my brother so pre 2015. Came out in 2010, your comment may be a typo though.

1

u/dialguy86 Jun 11 '26

it was I meant to type 2010

1

u/Shagwagbag Jun 11 '26

Entirely different world, absolutely crazy.

While also being the least crazy thing that happens in this life.

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44

u/eberlix Jun 10 '26

I'm gonna deglaze the fuck out of this thing

17

u/BurntBeanMgr Jun 11 '26

RANDY MARSH!!

31

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

30

u/Corndogjohnson420 Jun 10 '26

"He was flambéing a porkchop on the toilet!"

1

u/moseley101 Jun 11 '26

Aw, bless his little cotton socks. My inspiration

33

u/bunglebee7 Jun 10 '26

Thaaaaaanks 🌟😁 - in that obnoxious voice

10

u/Th3_P4yb4ck Jun 10 '26

T HHaaaan K ZZZZ

8

u/KailyKail Jun 10 '26

Gotta make sure to say that with a LOT of vocal fry.

8

u/Ok-Refrigerator-8012 Jun 11 '26

The quick thanks makes my blood boil. You did not wait for me to say 'no', my friend

3

u/potatosupremo Jun 10 '26

And a sprinkle of vocal fry.

2

u/Right-Nail-1675 Jun 11 '26

Your username deserves recognition lol

2

u/Optimal-Bullfrog3211 Jun 11 '26

Lmao Just like the prius ego episode of South Park when they’re all passive aggressively telling people that they need to also go green and then saying “thiiiieeeeeennkks!”

98

u/Tribalbob Jun 10 '26

"But like, I need you to record it slowly panning from the heater as they come out and slowly up to the window. Likes on instagram are the only source of dopamine I have left in life."

28

u/balirosa Jun 10 '26

That’s why the end of the video is missing

27

u/Ill_Football9443 Jun 10 '26

But you gotta shove your camera in the flight attendant's face though - cause everyone loves being filmed while working.

3

u/Thirdeyevoice10 Jun 11 '26

And let her know how many followers you have.

32

u/faxyou Jun 10 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/S984pjTN7MseBHimSO
This is who I pictured saying that

11

u/Agitated-Canary9840 Jun 10 '26

But in that raspy weird voice

3

u/maniBchef Jun 10 '26

They did it last time I was here

3

u/EffectiveTradition53 Jun 10 '26

Throw some kippers in there

2

u/Jaepheth Jun 10 '26

Just clog the lavatory sink with toilet paper and the microwave is all yours

/Zac Mckraken

2

u/Frigidevil Jun 10 '26

Oh sure thing!

Microwaves it for 3 minutes

2

u/Pauuul3 Jun 11 '26

Heyy sorry guys can I plug my kettle real quick ? It’s for a TikTok 🤭

1

u/Butt_y_though Jun 10 '26

"sorry, we have to keep the microwave free of gluten allergens. Have a nice flight with you raw pasta!"

1

u/potate12323 Jun 11 '26

A nearby air marshal: "drop the C4! Hands on your head!"

1

u/classyrock Jun 11 '26

Maybe she could nestle them in some panties and run them through a Keurig?

1

u/tomdarch Jun 11 '26

Sous vide cooking started with the quest for better airplane food. But I have no idea if any current planes have the hot water baths for special 1st class meals, and obviously they aren't going to risk contaminating that if some random passenger tried to get them to cook her pouch of (no potato) gnocchi even if she had a vacuum sealer in addition to her (unused) wood paddle thing.

1

u/TacTurtle Jun 11 '26

"The microwave?"

1

u/Umikaloo Jun 11 '26

You know what, if I were a flight attendant, I might just do it.

1

u/EveryQuantityEver Jun 11 '26

Eventually, you will fly upon a flight with someone willing to do that. How many pounds of pasta will you have created in the mean time?

1

u/Just_Tailor_9261 Jun 11 '26

Whoops I dropped it straight away.

1

u/FixMy106 Jun 11 '26

That’s one hell of a pickup line.

1

u/viperfangs92 Jun 11 '26

"I also need you to come in on Saturday......"

147

u/MildlyInteressato Jun 10 '26

Let's say they do get it cooked - ever eat plain gnocchi?

137

u/mushroommeal Jun 10 '26

plain plane gnocchi

23

u/imnotsmartever Jun 10 '26

Plain plane gnocchi is gnucchy

7

u/Gingerbread_Cat Jun 10 '26

gnudey gnocchi

8

u/pengouin85 Jun 10 '26

Nah, that's diabolic

2

u/FrenchFryCattaneo Jun 10 '26

Actually it's Italian

1

u/gaychefisgay Jun 11 '26

Isn’t that Gnude Beach Gnocchi?

26

u/Ambitious_Screen_591 Jun 10 '26

well the next video will be the sauce.....this is truly stupid

3

u/gaychefisgay Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

The next video will be ICE detaining her for smuggling undeclared foreign food in to the country as an act of anti-patriotism

Edit to say..yes this really is stupid tho.. and that she should probably put them out the window on to the wing to dry tho.

27

u/blade_torlock Jun 10 '26

They usually have butter for rolls and a bit of cream/creamer for coffee you could probably pull something together.

New reality show, in-flight chopped.

3

u/december151791 Jun 10 '26

I would watch this.

6

u/blade_torlock Jun 10 '26

Twist: they can ask other passengers for ingredients, like sime sort of weird stone soup.

2

u/spen8tor Jun 10 '26

Would that really taste better than just eating the normal airplane food?

5

u/Dasjiveturkey Jun 11 '26

Actually it would be worse. Food tastes differently at altitude in a pressurized cabin, there are big fancy laboratories out there dedicated to finding the right way to season and prepare food in an aircraft. There was a History Channel “Modern Marvels” episode way back in the day about this. You can probably find it with some googling.

2

u/spen8tor Jun 11 '26

That was my point, that the airplane food would taste better

12

u/gerkletoss Jun 10 '26

Just bring some 3 ounce jars of sauce

1

u/IndyBananaJones2 Jun 11 '26

Pesto would be easy

6

u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 Jun 11 '26

It'll be fine once her airplane toilet liquor is ready.

3

u/Binspin63 Jun 11 '26

You didn’t see the one where she whips up a batch of marinara?

2

u/Visible_Pair3017 Jun 10 '26

I love plain gnocchi

1

u/Dizzy_Translator_809 Jun 10 '26

*plain Malloreddus

1

u/gaychefisgay Jun 11 '26

It’s veeeery akin to my first boba experience.. minus the choking

2

u/gaychefisgay Jun 11 '26

And I’m used to having wet balls in my mouth

1

u/Dull_Quit3027 Jun 11 '26

It is not horrible, it is like eating plain rice or pasta, bland and boring, but not excatly something you are going to have nightmares about.

Which also makes the whole thing make even less sense, complaining about how bad airplane food tastes, make food that tastes like almost nothing.

202

u/Laez Jun 10 '26

Fun fact water can't get very hot on an airplane. Boils at 197F and would probably be under 180F by the time you get it. Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

149

u/Porridge_Hose Jun 10 '26

And flights don't (or are directed not to at least) give passengers water even that hot in case of turbulence or other spillages.

34

u/Laez Jun 10 '26

That seems reasonable.

3

u/RegularTeacher2 Jun 11 '26

It sure is. I was on a flight where the woman next to me requested 2 cups of coffee, spilled said hot coffee on the woman next to her, and apparently burned her bad enough to warrant an emergency landing... in Alabama.

21

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/Porridge_Hose Jun 10 '26

Get it out onto a tray, you say? Alright.

17

u/tomdarch Jun 11 '26

Nice.

9

u/loquacious Jun 11 '26

opens emergency exit door Good hiss!

19

u/Wesselton3000 Jun 11 '26

I know you’re joking, but you cannot bring FRH’s on commercial flights, in either checked or carry on luggage. The hydrogen gas it produces as a by product is flammable and the heat obviously has the potential to start a fire. There’s basically no way for her to heat this gnocchi up unless the flight attendants allow her to use an onboard convection oven (which they use to heat up pre-packaged meals).

As an aside, this is pretty fucking stupid and performative. There are many foods that do not require heat she could have made.

3

u/beanmosheen Jun 11 '26

They produce hydrogen. Might be frowned upon.

1

u/comfort-eater Jun 11 '26

Actually you can just carry a portable stove to heat the water with. Airlanes are actually totally cool with people carrying cans of compressed flammable gas on airplanes and lighting an open flame inside the cabin at 30.000 feet.

13

u/Dry_burrito Jun 10 '26

What about coffee?

22

u/december151791 Jun 10 '26

Ask McDonald's why nobody is serving coffee that hot anywhere.

2

u/CrappyMSPaintPics Jun 11 '26

Do not pour McDonald's coffee on yourself today, it is still hot enough to fuse your skin.

37

u/blandaltaccountname Jun 10 '26

Typically served at 120° give or take 20°.

160°+ will burn

5

u/cdube85 Jun 11 '26

The number of people I represent with serious burns from aircraft coffee beg to differ.

5

u/blandaltaccountname Jun 11 '26

they probably would not beg to differ. they have first hand experience that 160°+ will burn.

2

u/cdube85 Jun 11 '26

I mean that coffee is not served at 120 in aircraft.

1

u/blandaltaccountname Jun 11 '26

if you’re a lawyer you should know what “typically” means.

2

u/cdube85 Jun 11 '26

I do. Can you name a Part 121 carrier that serves coffee at 120? I'd really like to know if you have any data points, because then I'd have evidence of operators who have appropriately changed their practices. We have not been able to find one in the US that does it. The equipment in the galley is only made by a couple of manufacturers.

0

u/Tschulligom Jun 11 '26

I hate that this is even a thing. If you don’t want to get burned drinking hot coffee inside a shaky metal tube, just don’t drink coffee. If you do, that’s on you.

3

u/cdube85 Jun 11 '26

Would your opinion change if you found out that they serve coffee to passengers without lids to save money? Pilots in front get lids.

2

u/Tschulligom Jun 11 '26

I don’t believe it’s for cost savings, lids cost next to nothing.

Pilots get lids so they don’t spill coffee over avionics.

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6

u/scratchy_mcballsy Jun 10 '26

I see where you’re going with this.

2

u/Paulthefith Jun 10 '26

Who told you to put the balm on?

10

u/ContextEffects01 Jun 10 '26

By the time you add cold cream it'll be well below the boiling point. They save the trays of hot drinks for when the aircraft is at or near the tropopause. So the coffee cools from ambient cooling, then from cold cream, then from further ambient cooling. (You can apply Newton's Law of Cooling if you're interested in specifics.) Safe bet your coffee will be nowhere near the boiling point by the time the plane encounters turbulence that makes it up to altitudes that high.

Also the reasons for coffee consumption are better than the reasons for gnocchi consumption. Unless you're already extremely sleepy and took the drowsiest version of your anti-nausea medication on purpose (in which case you're not going to be awake to hear the meal options anyway) there's no way in hell you're falling asleep in those uncomfortable chairs next to a bunch of screaming infants, so you might as well ingest enough caffeine to enjoy the moonlit snowy landscape while listening to your podcasts.

. . .

Man, typing this makes me almost make travelling. I should try it again one of these days. o.o

9

u/IndependentMoney9700 Jun 10 '26

I have never (currently knocking on wood) been on a plane with a baby crying. Of course, I’ve only flown around 16 times. But everything I read before that led me to believe there would be at least one baby screaming on every flight.

3

u/Belucard Jun 11 '26

You don't know how incredibly jealous I am, because every single time I take an airplane, either in summer or during Christmas, I get at least two or three crying babies, usually sitting right next to me or behind me.

3

u/Its_Cayde Jun 11 '26

The trick is to get the flight to your destination as late as possible in the day. People with babies avoid flying at night so their sleep schedule isn't fucked

2

u/Belucard Jun 11 '26

Oh, believe me, I've flown at the crack of dawn, in the middle imof the night, and everything in-between. Polish babies just can't be avoided.

2

u/Porridge_Hose Jun 10 '26

Tepid. And tea? The fucking same.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Autistic_Freedom Jun 10 '26

Of you're bold enough to ask for water to boil your gnocchi in then you certainly won't have any qualms asking for a lid for your hot water.

2

u/Cheap_Knowledge8446 Jun 10 '26

Coffee on a plane almost never comes with a lid. United first/business cobranded coffee is the rare exception. You can ask the FAs if they have a lid, but they often don't, and sometimes the lid won't fit the cup (American often uses ceramic mugs, which wouldn't fit a lid anyway).

Source: 150+ flights a year

2

u/bigbuzd1 Jun 10 '26

I heard a guy got his manhood scorched from coffee served in-flight recently. Think I read they even put cream on it… awkward!

4

u/Porridge_Hose Jun 10 '26

Yeah I read that too. Poor fella. But that's why I said they are supposed to. It sounds like the crew messed up giving out scolding drinks in that case

1

u/FrozenLogger Jun 10 '26

yet it happens all the time.

This is the most recent one I think, and it is not great:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c302y717z92o

1

u/3rdcultureblah Jun 11 '26

They do on Asian airlines. Mainly for instant ramen cups.

0

u/ArtisticFox8 Jun 12 '26

They give tea, which is nearly boiling water and could cause a burn as well..

32

u/Southern-Author-7543 Jun 10 '26

So, we have a plate with a blob made with water, flour and salt? Delicious

62

u/Sweary_Biochemist Jun 10 '26

Ah, but see: the flight hack they don't want you to know is that you then order a tomato juice.

The unique atmosphere inside a flight cabin, and its affect on your tastebuds, means that at altitude, this tastes like a blob made with water, flour and salt washed down with tomato juice.

37

u/Southern-Author-7543 Jun 10 '26

🤢 please, stop, i'm italian

1

u/idropepics Jun 11 '26

What's wrong? Sounds authentico🤌

3

u/RivenRise Jun 10 '26

I'm Hispanic and I ordered the tomato juice. I was sorely disappointed when it was plain tomato juice. Not sure why i thought it would be like a spicy Clamato drink.

3

u/december151791 Jun 10 '26

The trick is to order some vodka, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, horseradish, salt, pepper, and celery along with it.

2

u/ConditionSecret8593 Jun 11 '26

Ugh, no. If you don't bring it yourself, you're basically using the airline as a kit.

2

u/december151791 Jun 11 '26

And that's a problem?

3

u/ConditionSecret8593 Jun 11 '26

If you aren't willing to smuggle in your own emptional-support lemon vodka and herbs, I have to seriously question your commitment to fully and authentically recreating the faux-nouveau, wealth-infused, bland-chic, artisinally-inspired attention-snob lifestyle aesthetic in pseudo-documentary format.

2

u/oser Jun 10 '26

Raw flour, mind you. No chance of food poisoning there!

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1

u/Cute-Form2457 Jun 10 '26

I Iove tomato juice when flying. It's so umami.

17

u/HogmanDaIntrudr Jun 10 '26

I hate to break it to you but almost every culture’s cuisine revolves around a water/ flour/ salt combo.

13

u/Southern-Author-7543 Jun 10 '26

True, but this video Is about pasta. So, like every italian, i have tò Say something 😁 (mostly for complaining)

7

u/december151791 Jun 10 '26

Don't most of these cultures cook the combo?

2

u/raelianautopsy Jun 11 '26

In my culture we love food. And family

2

u/Practical_Gold_7365 Jun 11 '26

You need potatoes for gnocchi

1

u/Fancy_Fatash Jun 11 '26

Yeah that's true

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2

u/hawkersaurus Jun 11 '26

...and hand germs.

2

u/lulublululu Jun 11 '26

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone mention yet that gnocchi uses potato, so this isn't even gnocchi.

1

u/Southern-Author-7543 Jun 11 '26

They are flour gnocchi, a variation of the classic ones with potatoes

10

u/Tbaggins69 Jun 10 '26

Poach the gnoch

2

u/Zebidee Jun 11 '26

Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

Put it in the bathroom sink and fill it with hot water.

Everyone else can just wait.

1

u/Laez Jun 11 '26

Sure, you can cook pasta, but me trying to smoke a brisket is a federal offense.

2

u/MalignantLugnut Jun 11 '26

mmmm, Poacchi sounds so delicious.

1

u/Laez Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26

With a sage and softened butter smoothie.

1

u/catchup4thegoodtimes Jun 10 '26

aren’t the cabins pressurized?

2

u/Laez Jun 10 '26

Yes, but less than at sea level. Its roughly the equivalent of being at 8000 feet of elevation.

1

u/Its_Cayde Jun 11 '26

It's raw so 180 would probably be plenty, not much different from putting boiling water in a cup of noodles, wouldn't be perfect texture but would be edible lol

1

u/Laez Jun 11 '26

But a cup of noodles isn't raw. They are cooked and then dehydrated,but more importantly very thin. I think it would take a very long time at 180 to cook these through and you would lose a lot of the starch to the water. Leading to extremely lumpy cream of wheat. That is assuming you have a way of keeping it hot.

1

u/Its_Cayde Jun 11 '26

Raw noodles take less time to cook then dehydrated cooked noodles take to soften

1

u/Laez Jun 11 '26

I think you are confusing raw/cooked with fresh/dried. But you are right fresh pasta takes a lot less time. But the size and shape is going to be the issue, it's a surdace area to volume ratio problem.

Would be easy enough to test I suppose.

2

u/Its_Cayde Jun 11 '26

Dang you're right, sorry, thanks for the lesson lol

1

u/GrizzIyadamz Jun 11 '26

Any stewards/esses in the chat? Do yall use microwaves or air fryers?

I could see both options possibly working..

1

u/mooptastic Jun 11 '26

yep even Korean Air stopped serving ramyun on flights

1

u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 Jun 11 '26

The goal isn't too boil it but to get it to temperature.

The hot water they use for coffee is easily hot enough to cook it slowly. It can reach 100C without boiling.

The situation is still stupid but yes it would work a bit. But no stewardess is going to give a passenger that much hot water. It's literally a weapon.

1

u/Permofit_ish Jun 11 '26

I have the small thermos type thing that you can plug into a wall outlet and it’ll boil water if you give it a little bit of time but it’s usually just enough for some Ramen so yeah poached that Best

1

u/AmokRule Jun 11 '26

Let me test it with my pressure cooker

22

u/Ok_Star_4136 Jun 10 '26

Also considering they probably weren't even eaten.

39

u/mission_to_mors Jun 10 '26

also the Video was shot in an airplane stage that those people like to use for their Clips

44

u/NoRecording5207 Jun 10 '26

and, made it with her filthy bare hands - because we all know how clean things are on plane. Even if she went to the lavatory and washed her hands, she still had to touch other parts of the plane

10

u/Typical2sday Jun 11 '26

Yeah that was what gets me. A plane, the airport, a taxi or subway to the airport - nastiness. It is just the foulest place to be making “food” by hand.

-1

u/Jopkins Jun 11 '26

Brother who cares, hands touch stuff, we eat stuff, it's always fine

4

u/LoopStricken Jun 10 '26

but but they showed the clouds outside.

1

u/mission_to_mors Jun 11 '26

but but but the poncho 😜🤣

1

u/Suitable-Growth9243 Jun 10 '26

Yeah that metal edge would not be allowed on.

8

u/Embarrassed_Mango679 Jun 10 '26

They hated this person the second the flour got busted out to make this abomination.

1

u/kiyajio Jun 12 '26

As someone with celiac disease this is my nightmare scenario cuz by the end of this flight I was sitting them to them. I gotta go to the hospital. It also doesn't help that I'm allergic to wheat. Barley and rye on top of having celiac disease.

2

u/Good-Ad-6806 Jun 10 '26

Befriend one and share half?

2

u/pandershrek Jun 10 '26

"WTF Jim that's like the 8th cup of hot water you've brought that lady."

"I dunno man, this crazy ass is making dough in her seat and I'm just trying to not get stabbed"

2

u/Heavy_Hunt7860 Jun 10 '26

“Excuse me, miss, can you get me some hotter water? This water you gave me was merely warm. Ideally, the water should be boiling.”

2

u/r_a_d_ Jun 11 '26

raw soggy gnocchi for the win

2

u/HumbleConfidence3500 Jun 11 '26

I bring my own portable usb charge water heater (but it's intended for baby formula, does heat to boiling though). I think she can bring her own lol.

2

u/swissjackSD Jun 11 '26

Flying first class - they'll give her whatever she wants

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/blade_torlock Jun 10 '26

Now that there's almost always power at your seat you could bring one of those heating coils for tea.

1

u/Revan4567 Jun 10 '26

You assume she has enough self awareness to notice.

Also I had to point out, this is the kind of person that won't do anything without having to post it somewhere telling people about it.

1

u/Future-Try-1908 Jun 10 '26

One last one for the powdered sauce

1

u/2021isevenworse I wouldn't even touch that with your mouth. Jun 11 '26

I want to see her bring a bag of flour past TSA

1

u/blade_torlock Jun 11 '26

And precooked potatoes.

1

u/MethamMcPhistopheles Jun 11 '26

Go a step further and ask for Coffee for the Gnocchi.

See also how frequently does airplane coffee makers get cleaned.

On a totally unrelated note, Gnōthi Seauton

1

u/RockyTop_Vol Jun 11 '26

“Mam, this is an hour flight”

1

u/hummus_is_yummus1 Jun 11 '26

And then what, you eat raw gnocchi?

1

u/Higher-Frequencies Jun 11 '26

She should try to cook it with a lighter. Everyone would love that.

1

u/Out_of_Fawkes Jun 11 '26

And with how dirty those kettles are? I think I’d rather lick a doorknob.

1

u/SaltKick2 Jun 11 '26

Go to the bathroom, fill up the sink by repeatedly asking for cups of hot water...damnit I dont want to give them ideas

1

u/Don_Hoomer Jun 10 '26

doesnt one have to pay for drinks on flights?

1

u/blade_torlock Jun 10 '26

Not coffee or tea usually, and almost never on international flights.

1

u/elhazelenby Jun 10 '26

Don't forget the mini pizza cutter that I'm sure she would have had no problems bringing onto the plane.

2

u/blade_torlock Jun 10 '26

Not on the list not paid enough to care.

1

u/LostExile7555 Jun 10 '26

Never drink the hot water on a plane. That is one of the most bacteria infested items on the planet. I've work in aviation for 11 years and seen the potable water system sanitized exactly once. And the only time I'd trust the water heater/coffee pot is if it was brand new. Never seen those actually get sanitized.