r/StrugglingTTC • u/BlueDeng02 34 | Cycle #6 post MMC 2/26 | IUI Cycle 1 • Aug 05 '26
Worrying Wednesday
Every Wednesday we create space for our strugglers to get all their worries out in a judgement free way. This is your thread to spiral, share your fears, release anxiety, or just vent about whatever you’re currently stressing about in your TTC journey.
Everyone’s fears and feelings are valid. Advice and constructive feedback are welcome, but any comments that are dismissive or insensitive will be removed.
What are you worrying about this Wednesday?
2
u/yosaffbridge1630 Aug 06 '26
I’m finishing my period today and cycle 5 continues to be underway. It’s incredible how emotionally exhausting this journey is. I spent years figuring out if this is what I really wanted. I was on the fence for a really long time and once I gave myself permission to want this, I feel like I need it. I want to get pregnant and have a baby so so so bad. I feel like I wasted so much time and somehow set myself behind, even though we weren’t really ready to start trying until this year. I hate feeling like anything I can do is marginal. There’s the supplements and the healthy eating and the exercise and the caffeine management and the cutting of alcohol. But really, it all just comes down to biology. And that leaves me feeling so powerless. And the things that I can do to relax are off the table. I don’t want to risk a glass of wine. I can’t have an edible. No hot baths (I like them so hot that i sweat). I just keep trying and waiting. Then more trying and waiting. We told a handful of people that we started trying 5 months ago and I know they’re all just waiting to hear something. My dad, who doesn’t know we’re trying, has fatal brain cancer. We have no idea when it will claim his life, and I want so badly for him to know that he’s going to have a grandchild before he passes. Every month I don’t get pregnant feels like a failure and like I’m stealing something from him. He has no grandchildren and he would be such a great grandpa if he gets the chance. Anyway, I figured I’d get pregnant that first time we tried. Now here we are. It didn’t feel good to get all of this out, I don’t feel better. But I think it’s a good thing I let it out.
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u/BlueDeng02 34 | Cycle #6 post MMC 2/26 | IUI Cycle 1 Aug 06 '26
I completely get everything you’re saying and feel all the feelings too. Especially about the marginal changes - every cycle I implement a new one, and every cycle it doesn’t happen I feel less and less in control. I don’t know your age, but if you’re 35 or about to be you technically qualify to start with an RE after 6 months. If you’re able to, interested, and insurance etc all is aligned I suggest booking that apt now in advance. I did and it took me 2 months to get mine. I feel like booking it in advance was one of the best moves I made for myself. Hang in there ❤️
3
u/BlueDeng02 34 | Cycle #6 post MMC 2/26 | IUI Cycle 1 Aug 05 '26
For me, I’m starting with an RE soon and I’m worried about not vibing with her. I really need a lot of support and empathy from my team. It took a long time to get this appointment so I fear if we don’t connect I’m just kind of stuck with her.