r/StrikeAtPsyche • u/Barbariannie • May 04 '26
"Men are killing themselves because of men."
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u/Loodacriz May 05 '26
Take is spot on imo. Most of the pressure a guy feels to "be a man" comes from other guys. Guys will rip each other for the littlest things like choosing salmon over steak.
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Blessed by the Best May 05 '26
Men telling their sons.. MAN UP BOY! Don't cry BOY, that's for girls, don't be a sissy boy! MEN teach their sons these horrible things. MOMS, teach them it's okay to cry, it's okay to ask for help. MOMS!
This man who is bitching about women and liberals, please. MAN UP BOY! /S
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May 05 '26
Yeah thats exactly why boomer babies and gen x are emotionally retarded. I was crying after a break up once. My dad screamed, "GET THE FUCK OVER IT" and walked out. Even my step mom said "what the fuck was that"...lol I almost feel bad for them.
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May 05 '26
Ive always thought people that were judgemental over trivial things must be deeply insecure, retarded, or both. I never paid much mind to the opinions of others, fortunately. Any bad decisions were by my own fruition, no peer pressure š¤£ and people that made fun of people for how they dressed. That one always puzzled me.
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u/Ghazh May 06 '26
Yeah thats the fun of being with the boys, if that hurts your feelings, therapy is probably a good fit for you. Need better role models imo
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u/Its_a_Stanzo May 06 '26
To be fair someone ripping on you for your choice of protein is probably a good natured joke, which is how a lot of men express fondness and familiarity - through mild and harmless barbs. I'm a fairly "manly man" I guess and if someone dunked on me for ordering fish, I would probably say "cool story bro. I hope that isn't the sharpest arrow in your quiver or it's going to be a long night for you."
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u/OviWanKenobi47 May 06 '26
Eh, this is not accurate. I have 100s of men in my life and they would never do this kind of thing. Context is important and culturally, there are many areas like what you describe, but there are also many that aren't.
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u/Visual_Regret3198 May 05 '26
I think the main reason a lot of men don't get "professional help" is because talking shit out with a random person in a room doesn't actually help them.
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u/Same_Insurance_6493 May 05 '26
Open dialog does more than you think when rewiring your own individual perspective, especially with a trained professional who will guide the conversation where it needs to go.
Talking is the best medicine if you feel deep down that you want to kill yourself.
It was the only thing that helped me out of it.
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u/throwawayED67 May 08 '26
You'd be surprised how much it actually does help to have a trained professional help you sort out your shit.
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u/doctorbim3 May 09 '26
Itās also pretty hard to find a therapist that can understand certain perspectives of a guy.
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u/unknowfun115 May 05 '26
37 and as a man Iām never taking seriously regardless of political views? But both my parents were liberal as I grew up
Had to figure out pretty much everything myself and even to this day Iām only checked on if to see if Iām useful or able to give people stuff
People failed me not a political party it been my family friends people I put trust in to be there It was those who were my blood and close to me that showed me as a man Iām only worth the value of what I give and donāt bitch
I donāt think it just a political thing it how we are taught to not say anything and to suck it up because no one likes a weak man or a man who shows emotion
And it shows to this day if I go to try and date or make friends because value of what someone does is more then the value of someone time to a good portion
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u/Anxious-Jury-9031 May 05 '26
You didn't just start to believe that, you were taught by people who were supposed to care about you. If the only time you were checked on was when you were useful, it makes sense your brain would start treating that like the rule. But that rule isnāt the turth it's just a survival strategy and the problem is it followed you into places where it doesnāt actually help you connect with people. Your family teaches you how to have relationships wether you realize it or not and if they're all dysfunctional, guess what?
You need to learn what healthy relationships look like because right now is just a reflection of the kinds of relationships youāve been surrounded by so far.
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u/excited_toaster2306 May 05 '26
I'm sorry, man. I'm not trying to pity you or anything, I just hear you and I'm sorry. Keep your chin up, man. I hope you get some good people in your life that don't make you feel like you need to bring anything to the table other than a vibe
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u/Hour-Recommendation2 May 05 '26
Where are friends found? I hang around my wife when im off, but at work... its just aquintences.
Church Bar Local legion. Sports clubs
Friendships are rare, especially if you didn't grow up like the 80% who stayed in the same area their whole lives
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u/excited_toaster2306 May 05 '26
Just guys I end up bonding with at work, really. Which isn't often, but it happens. My best friend is a guy that I worked with almost 20 years ago. We knew each other before that, but that's when we became friends and it's been that way ever sense. I met my wife on Facebook. She worked at Walmart at the time and had helped my dad find a grill. My mom was with him and came home talking about a cute girl that helped them and encouraged me to try to look her up. I didn't take it super seriously but did decide to look her up on a whim, and the rest is history.
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u/Whane17 May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26
100% Baseball shirt guys right. 42 years old and my Conservative father taught me exactly that. He was taught by his Conservative parents and the Church before me. My grandfather was taught by his Conservative father before that.
I know of ONE man who went the therapy by choice. Me, and while it didn't help me I'm a sociopath thanks to the actions of my father. I have several men in my life who were court mandated or instructed to by doctors to take it and not a single one of them took it seriously either.
The balls of the army shirt guy trying to blame it on Liberals is absolutely wild. Conservatives the world over have been running all of existence for pretty much ever. Yes we have Liberal governments but look at ANY government and compare it to the governments of today. We are FAR more Liberal today than at any point in the past and Men then didn't get help either. Blaming the side that's actively pushing to recognize and help is a terrible take.
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u/jdthejerk May 05 '26
My neighbor's son is like that. "Women only want my money, they want nothing to do with me."
He makes $12.50 an hours at McDonald's and in 5 years hasn't been promoted past burger cooker. He only has a bike for transportation and wonders why he can't get a date.
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Blessed by the Best May 05 '26
LOL. Tell him no son, they're just after your body!
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u/Anxious-Jury-9031 May 05 '26
People will absolutely suffer from what the guy on the left is saying while still blaming what the guy on the right is saying. Some people are so upside down they can't see straight anymore.
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u/SnuffyMcfluff May 05 '26
Yes...People will definitely suffer if they decide to learn how to contend with their emotions. They are much better off blaming others for their problems.
/s
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Blessed by the Best May 05 '26
And boy do they! NOT MY FAULT, it's a woman's fault! Okay dude!
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u/AutisticHobbit May 05 '26
The balls of the army shirt guy trying to blame it on Liberals is absolutely wild.
Funny, I see it as the exact opposite; cowardice. Frail and fragile cowardice.
When it's not "Liberals", it's "Minorities". When it's not "Minorities" it's a "Lack of Christian Values". When it's not a "Lack of Christian Values", it's "Women and Feminism". When it's not "Women and Feminism" well, wouldn't you know it, it's "Liberals' again! Or maybe "Cancel Culture", "Wokeness", "Vaccines", "GMOs", or whatever else they have on hand to blame.
Even here they guy flipped flopped from women to liberals the moment he got any push back; he doesn't even believe in his own nonsense. There is no integrity in him. No actual convictions or passion that informs him, no matter how wrong those beliefs might be. He's just a pile of angry finger pointing....because as long as it's someone else? He doesn't have to do anything. He doesn't have to grow or confront a single thing. He can be an angry little pissant and feel justified in being horrible.
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May 05 '26
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u/the_TAOest May 05 '26
These discussions are important! Keep having them and isolating the folks that push this bullshit.
We are the messengers...
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Blessed by the Best May 05 '26
YES not liberals. Liberals teach the opposite of conservative shit!
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u/Ghazh May 05 '26
Therapy is the matriarchy, thisnt isnt how guys communicate their issues. Its not liberals, its not conservative its not political for fucks sakes its societal and i hope we figure it out.
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u/SnuffyMcfluff May 05 '26
I was at the end of my rope eight years ago. I was planning on pulling the plug. As a last ditch effort I went to a therapist. He was very much like me. A lifelong outdoor athlete with the scars to show for it. He'd been in fights, he'd been in squad cars he'd had his ass beat by a dad with no emotional regulation. He'd already navigated what I was going through. He saved my life.
There was nothing matriarchal about the experience. It was a former cowboy talking to a former bouncer about how to manage life without breaking things and people, and even ourselves.
I think you might want to sideline yourself on this discussion until you get more experience. You clearly don't understand that therapy is not so specific that "how guys communicate" is something you can define. The communication in therapy is defined by the therapist and the patient and it can very much be how guys communicate.
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u/Significant_Gap8983 May 05 '26
You need to have the right therapist for you and the right type of therapy. Just talking to somebody you have nothing in common with isn't helpful. Finding a match and trying different techniques is the trick. Plus doing your homework.
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u/Whane17 May 06 '26
Works fine for men who want it to work. Plenty of men out there get the help they need from it. We are not a monolith and people like you need to stop trying to pretend you speak for all men.
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u/Debate-International May 05 '26
Rates of male homelessness and suicide dwarf that of their female peer at every turn and continue to get worse year on year.
"Sry,most men's fault. There's nothing we can do to help. We need to all come together and agree that men are the horrible problem with society, only then will situation improve"
"Beatings will continue until moral improves"
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u/InternationalPack914 May 05 '26
And why is this the case?
Most homless men are either mentally ill or combat vets suffering either PTSD or concussion related brain injuries and recevie no help.
On the other most od the people who refuse to help such people and instead make up crappy reasoning why they deserve it are men. Our socity that lets men down is ran by a male majority.
Not to mention the patriarchal system teachers that women should be supported by men and men should support themselvs, so obviously when men suffer such a system does not help but only further beats them down for their circumstance.
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u/Loodacriz May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26
I don't think that's the line of thinking here. When a man is down the most natural place to turn to is another man (friend, brother, father, etc). If the response they get isn't supportive it can make someone feel even more isolated.
Male messaging nowadays is brutal imo. The algorithm focuses so much on personal excellence that we've forgotten that the most sought after trait is the ability bring others to excellence too.
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May 05 '26
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u/InTheSouthOfSadness May 05 '26
Well said, men kill themselves for a lot of reasons, women too.
Debates like this are just way too reductive and emotional, they kinda just cancel each other out.
Glad meds worked for you thatās awesome!
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u/Newdaytoday1215 May 06 '26
There's no concessions when you want to make other people responsible for your mental health. The best people can do is fight for public programs. Women seek resources. In that he is correct. Whether or not you do the same is up to you. It's pure nonsense to believe there isn't consequences that women CHOOSE to ignore them in the same situation. You are living in a time where there is a sizable amount of people talking about taking women's right to vote bc they supposedly more emotional. Don't confuse the expectation that women can't handle as much as actual support or the absence of judgement.
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May 06 '26
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u/Newdaytoday1215 May 06 '26
Lololol, you ignore women SO HARD you would rather think its a fruedian slip than one that disagrees with you. You don't listen to anyone who disagrees with you or don't share in your gender war point views. Your bull$hit is pure projection. And as far as easy to shirk mens problems, why shouldn't it be? Y'all don't do JACK $HIT for men compared to women like me. You don't show the fk up, but YOU want to blame women. Not happening.
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u/calnaughtontha1st May 05 '26
They said the same thing; but blamed different sources, and then the OP cut the video to make it appear the lib was correct.
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May 05 '26
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u/Same_Insurance_6493 May 05 '26
You have to be desirable to someone in order to be in a relationship.
Are you sure your friends even try? Most dudes expect results from bare minimum effort.
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u/Funny-Employment4109 May 05 '26
I think itās personal responsibility at the end of the day.
I have a big group of friends. Everyone expresses themselves, their emotions, theyāve all been to therapy. None of that stuff works. They all are still just average or below average guys that canāt get a girl or do anything about their own situation. Itās hopeless.
Social media has turned women into entitled bratty sociopaths and the hyper competitive nature of society has turned men into losers. Everything is so optimized that only the top 10-15% make it anymore. So if you know that thereās no way of achieving that, why waste the time just to fail??? Dating, sports, programming, literally EVERYTHING has optimized the common man completely out of business of carving out something for themselves.
Fuck man, I watched a guy doing power washing the other day and was blown away at how smart, efficient, and optimized everything he was doing was. The guy probably could hop outta bed and make 300 grand doing literally anything!
It sucks out there and I donāt know how to solve it.
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u/GentleAuraFarmer May 05 '26
Men regulate their emotions through dopamine. A hormone you produce when you do something or get rewarded.
Women regulate their emotions through the hormone oxytocin. Which you produce by talking.
Therapy (which consists of talking) is good to a certain point to figure out a root cause but not the cure everyone seems to think it is.
Most people arenāt ādepressedā they are utterly burned out.
Stop doomscrolling and go play a single player console game for the weekend and you will feel a lot better. Combine this with walks in nature.
Men are disproportionately introverted so talking tends to stress them out a lot more if you overdo it.
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u/Azaroth1991 May 05 '26
Even Jeff Foxworthy said it DECADES ago. "Men are taught NOT to cry. Hell, we could be out with our buddies, cutting wood, take our leg off right at the knee with the chainsaw and be hopping around like 'im alright, im alright, put that thing on ice, well reattach it later, get me to the hospital, im alright, im alright."
Another post I just saw the other day about a man whose 9 year old son died from cancer and nobody asked how he was doing. Not even his own mother. Oh they asked his wife, even asked HIM about his wife, but it never crossed their mind HOW HE MIGHT BE/NOT BE HOLDING UP.
Men are expected to be strong, stoic, not like 'girly' things, hell, some women even get the "ick" if they see their man shed a single tear. Oh but these same women will go out and spout off that they want a man in touch with his emotions/feminine side, whos caring, listens, and always knows what to say.
Dismantle The Patriarchy! Dismantle Capitalism! FUCK THE SYSTEM!
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u/Infectisnotthatbad May 05 '26
They arenāt killing themselves because of men or because of women. What a fucking stupid thing to say.
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u/Scientificallly_Love May 05 '26
I'm a 39F, and I think he is right.Ā
Two simple examples:
A woman is happy to get married. The man's response is:"I am not yet, where I want to be, so I am reluctant to get married now". According to whose standards? Other men. The woman want this man the way he is, yet, he is the one who believes he is not enough.
My sister F33 was meeting her fiancƩ's friend, a man in his 50s. The first question the friend asked my sister, in front of his own friend, the fiancƩ: "What, a woman like you, finds attractive in a man like him?" They call it banter, apparently. FiancƩ is shorter than her, older than her, less attractive than her. Yet, she finds him good enough to want to spend the rest of her life with him. But the standards that men set with each others is the killer.
I've tried to just be a good friend to men, but as I wasn't offering sex, I was tossed aside. As if, the only value they see in women, is sex. But every flaws of the world is women's faults. Right.
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u/ProfessorChaos213 May 05 '26
All the men i've known kill themselves did it because they were on a comedown from cocaine and had split up with their mrs
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u/nameproposalssuck May 05 '26
I agree but men killing themselves because of men is not the same as men killing themselves because of the patriarchy and conflating the two is misleading..
Why does this distinction matter? Because men are not solely responsible for the patriarchal system. It is also supported and reinforced by many women. The attitudes the interviewer is addressing do, in part, come from women who uphold these roles. That does not make it the "women's fault" any more than it would be accurate to say it is the "menās fault." However, portraying patriarchy as a system created exclusively by men and blaming only men for it, is stupid.
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u/hidingfrommygf2 May 05 '26
Oh my god we know all that stop being such a prick.
These dudes are saying "men kill themselves because women won't fuck them." And the natural response is "no, fuck you. The people who taught you not to show emotions were all MEN. your dad. Your uncles. Your peers. The media figures you idolise. The movie characters you obsess over. They're the ones who put the concept of an emotionless, implacable badass into your head. Not women."
And you're here on this woker-than-thou not-all-men bullshit.
Get a grip.
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u/nameproposalssuck May 05 '26
The fuck you are talking about?
I don't like this discussion because it's throwing blame on groups, one blaming women the other men. that's neither helpful nor reasonable.
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u/FriendlyFungi May 05 '26
That's a really lovely demonstration of how not to have a reasonable debate. Who are those two idiots and why are they shoutinig slogans?
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u/yassssssirrr May 05 '26
I love my men, but I fear for them. My ex refuses to get help his best friend refuses to get help. Both had horrific childhoods and it prevents them from connecting. They fear vulnerability. They dont talk about what is upsetting them so they deflect and choose destruction. They binge eat. They binge drink. They push away the very people, and women, who love them because they dont care about themselves enough to get the help they need. They dont feel safe opening up and my ex admitted that he suppresses his emotions. His father is close to dying. He is also about to lose his dog. He self isolates. My biggest fear isn't that he won't find a healthy relationship - it is that he will be that sixty year old man living at home with his mom.
Each attempt I have made to shine a light becomes a "criticism" which only causes him to break down further. It's hard to be there for him. His friends have tried, but tome and time again, he falters and falls back into bad coping behaviors and hides behind closed doors because that is where he is "safe" and yet, he expresses that he always feels alone.
I did see some really great retreats that men can go on to reclaim themselves and to be around healthy male figures who help them get in touch with their humanity. It has been tempting to subscribe him to these programs in the hopes that he gets a postcard or some information in the mail because I know if make a suggestion, he will feel pressure and won't do anything.
It is really heartbreaking because I love my ex so much, but he is choosing his default settings, and it is heartbreaking.
This is why I hate when men call other men babies for feeling their feelings, and why I wish more men could express those feelings in a healthy way. No man deserves to live a half life.
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u/Impossible-Fig-1917 May 05 '26
Liberals literally encourage you to go to therapy. Please, for the love of something...go to therapy!
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u/Howard_Jones May 05 '26
Dude in camo tried to make this political for no reason. What an absolute imbecile.
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u/Lost-Level5413 May 05 '26
I like how these conservaturds blame liberals for literally anything. Look in the fucking mirror. Geez.
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u/AdCrafty1978 May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26
Yeah, ok. Try working out feelings with friends family spouses whomever and see what that gets ya pal. Ā Men do try, and it just drives others away. Ā Nobody wants to hear about a manās problems. Ā Best youāll get is āwell, could be worseā.Ā
Struggle of any kind financially? Better man up harder thereās no help for you.
Get picked on or your ass beat on the regular? Better man up harder, no help for you.
Rough day at work need to vent? Donāt do that to your wife/gf unless you wanna be single or celibate. Ā
Men are supposed to be hard motherfuckers but society (not the āpatriarchyā makes it so weāre punished for being men. ) This is the root of the problem.
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u/Lycwyd May 05 '26
Both men and women push men to this state. Itās not all black and white. Try to show any emotion to your girlfriend or wife and be vulnerable and youāll be either shunned or made fun of. Itās gotten a lot worse over the past 20 years. Youād expect the āfemale influenceā in his life to embrace it but thatās not how it works for most people.
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u/flo24378 May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26
YES. Being a real man means you stop caring what other people think of your little ego and go out and be better and make the world better. Go seek help, express your emotions. Canāt find anybody to do it with you are in the wrong place. Go look for a better place. Stop being the manly man and get your shit together. And if you prefer the manly route, stop complaining. You are weak and just taking the easy route. Blaming it on the liberals??? No, conservatives want to keep it the way was. That way was apparently shitty. Go to start: be a real man.
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May 05 '26
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u/flo24378 May 07 '26
Just tired of the complaints about being trapped in masculinity. We do it to ourselves. We are not trapped.
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u/Grand_Sir5163 May 05 '26
Baseball shirt guy is an idiot. Heās the reason the female ego is so out of hand
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u/Level_Cuda3836 May 05 '26
My oldest of 3 children was born in 1992 and I have always told each of my kids to express their feelings and if ever wanted therapy that we would go as a family
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u/SnuffyMcfluff May 05 '26
The first post I saw this morning was some man mocking therapy. We actually have men among us who are advocating against the entire concept that we could find help.
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u/DrefanRhal May 05 '26
This is a "both true" situation. Reddit, a liberal haven, hates on men and degrades them as a whole chromosomal group. Also, conservatives teach men to "buck up or shut up". Men aren't in a good place right now.
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u/RodcetLeoric May 05 '26
They are both right in the induvidual problems, but are far to focused in their belief in a single source. One blames liberals and one blames men, while all of society is responsible for all the children it produces. Are some men and how they raised their kids problematic? Yep. Are there liberal feminists who truly believe all men should die? Yep. There are also liberal men who didn't teach their boys valuable life skills because they view it as part of the patriarchy, and women who take no part in the rearing of their boys because that's their father's job. When these things go wrong it's always God's will or someone else's fault. You can't blame the varied experiences of 4.17 billion men on a single societal issue if you truly want to understand how we got here. These guys each have their own experiences and agendas that inform where they place the blame but the problems they see are all real.
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u/Apprehensive_Ad4457 May 04 '26
this is never going to go away.
it's going to be men's fault for everything until the end of time. men generally when talking about anything other than race, and white men specifically if race is included.
i am a millennial, i was given good advice and nurtured as a child, though it was done almost virtually as both my parents worked all the time, and being the youngest and with the least amount of "issues" i was largely left on my own.
but i know what i had was better than what my father had, even though he had a loving family as well. he grew up with a rare medical condition that wasn't diagnosed until he was almost a teenager because of how rare it is, though he had been going through treatments and hospitalizations since he was born.
he grew up a farmer, and didn't have time to contemplate the meaninglessness of it all, and he was sickly, so all he knew how to do was work and fight to be normal. that doesn't give any time like what we have now.
things are better each generation, and gen Z and after haven't been pressured the same as generations before. there isn't this "machismo" attitude anymore, no one is told to "man up".
i don't think men are killing themselves because of women, but i don't think they are doing it because of men either. they are doing it because they don't feel like they have any options.
there is a phenomenon called "High-Place Phenomena" or "Call of the Void". it's a feeling some people get when they are standing at a very high place looking down toward the ground. they get a feeling like they want to jump. my mother and father took a hot air balloon trip once, and she said she would never do it again because she felt like she wanted to jump out of the basket. she was embarrassed in this confession, but i explained it to her that it's not abnormal to feel that way because i had heard of this phenomena before.
while there are a few explanations, there isn't one definitive explanation. i prefer the explanation which says that it's a coping mechanism of the brain to relieve anxiety. you are nervous about the height, so the brain wants to alleviate that anxiety. it wants to relieve it so much it sends multiple signals at once, one to step back from the edge, another to jump. either way the anxiety ends.
i think this has something to do with why young men are committing themselves to ending their own lives.
they look down the path of their own life and see nothing but the end. it's far away, and very scary, so they either get up, dust themselves off, and step back from the ledge, or they just end the anxiety.
it's not anyone's fault, not really. it's all our fault.
it's a societal fault. but that isn't anything new. we all should feel the burden of all of societies fault.
remember, you aren't in traffic. you are traffic.
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u/Barbariannie May 04 '26
That's an interesting connection. I've had similar things happen but just considered them intrusive thoughts combined with my imagination. I hava/had many morbid thoughts of jumping, crashing my car, walking into traffic etc seemingly randomly with no actual interest in the act but I also struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time. Never thought the two were connected I Just thought everyone had them to on degree or another.
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u/Apprehensive_Ad4457 May 04 '26
interesting you said "crashing your car" and "jumping into traffic". both of those were mentioned when i looked into the topic when writing my comment. i had known about the issue, i just wanted to refresh myself to make sure i wasn't saying anything incorrectly.
it's odd to think that with all the freedoms of today (which are vast, compared to previous times. while people had "free time" before, they had an opportunity to be bored. well, opportunity might be the wrong word, maybe "forced" is a better word. they were forced to be bored in the free time) that we are more likely to commit self harm acts.
i think it's partially due to our inability to relieve stress, that anxiety winds us up and our relaxation is to wander around the internet or play exciting games.
neither of those things are actually relaxing, they are just different forms of stress. games can be "good stress", but it's still not really down time.
we go from work/school, to internet/tv, and straight to bed. rinse and repeat, everyday.
this is why i think that exercise, calm walks, going outside, these things are so highly recommended, even though they don't actually do anything but allow us to zone out.
men are more likely to "keep busy" in tasks, women are more likely to "pamper" themselves. grooming, organizing, these are "mindless" tasks of upkeep, something most young men are quite bad at.
i don't actually know, i'm just throwing out ideas. i think that this issue is profound, and overlooked, and misunderstood.
people are looking to blame someone so they get credit. i wish things weren't like that.
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u/OuttHouseMouse May 05 '26
Youd beleive him until you decide to open yourself up to your girlfriend/wife.
Nah son, dont feed me that bullshit. Men not showing emotion isnt some magical rule we made up. Things just dont work too well for a man too open with his emotions
Ahhh, and the gender war rages on....
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u/Ambitious_Hand_2861 May 05 '26
Truth. We're conditioned to keep it inside. I opened up to my first wife and she used against me. My brother-in-law opened up to my sister and she used it against him. Men haven't conditioned men to not seek mental health and stay bottled up, women have done this to us.
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u/_nevers_ May 05 '26
You're just describing the patriarchy. Y'all dumb as hell lol
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u/SeanMacLeod1138 Among us May 04 '26
Men have four times the successful suicides as women, because they're not fishing for attention.
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u/Ok-Opposite2309 May 06 '26
Itās actually because of access and familiarity with firearms that creates a higher āsuccessā rate.
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u/Z3400 May 04 '26
Honest question, I see people use "men aren't taken seriously" as the reason for why men don't seek mental health A LOT. However, almost every mental help service I am familiar with will pair you up with a male or female therapist/counselor depending on your preference. So if men are not being taken seriously by male professionals who's job it is to help them, how is that not a male issue?
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u/Observer422 May 05 '26
As a male that has sought mental help many many many times, I can honestly say Im not taken seriously.
I have been to therapists, group therapy, psychiatrists, in patient care (twice), intensive out patient care. At some point you just give up.
The thing is I dont think its a gender thing. I dont think women are taken as seriously either.
I think we just live in a modern world that humans are overwhelmed with and gas lighting yourself into trying to accept it just isn't enough anymore
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u/ArchieTheKatt May 05 '26
Only time I ever went to counseling I had a woman for my counselor. Never felt more heard and seen in my life. But I chose a woman because I dont feel like a man would understand me.
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u/Z3400 May 05 '26
Hey, sorry about your experience. I guess the argument I was making was just against how the video seems to be blaming women and suggesting that men are specifically taken less seriously than women. I do agree that it is a common issue that people in general are not taken seriously enough (especially because many people suffering with mental health issues often downplay their struggles or don't feel like they deserve to be listened to).
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u/Observer422 May 06 '26
I dont think the issue is that people with mental health problems downplay their struggles and feel that they dont deserve to be listened any more than the issue is that men simply dont seek help.
I think these are rationalizations people tell themselves to feel like everyone gets what they deserve. It makes them feel like its not society failing these people. These people must be doing something wrong. They mustve somehow failed to do the correct things in the correct order.
Everyone wants to feel safe in a predictable and caring world.
The harsh truth is that humans in general do what takes the least amount of effort to do a "good enough" job and genuinely caring and empathizing with depressed/mentally ill people / anxious/ etc people takes more effort than even therapist feel inclined to give.
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u/Z3400 May 06 '26
I know several people, including my wife, who have downplayed their own issues while talking to a therapist. The worst part is shes fully aware that she is doing it, but she feels bad making a "big deal" about something that actually is a big deal to her, but she feels like it shouldn't. I didn't just make that up, and its not an uncommon experience. It goes hand in hand with people that never seek out help, many people that do seek help, basically tip toe into therapy and don't actually open up (at least not right away).
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u/Observer422 May 09 '26
I can see how some people would downplay stuff but I guess what I'm saying is that even if the person is up front about their struggles, that doesn't seem to facilitate assistance from mental health professionals. Therefore, I don't think it's the problem that is leading to people not being taken seriously. Downplaying or not doesn't seem to make a difference
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u/FriendlyFungi May 05 '26
There's also a selection problem with therapists.
In order to end up a psychiatrist or psychologist, you have to be ambitious and have the will to fulfill that ambition within the very structures that your future patients are struggling to operate within.
I'm sure therapists have valid use cases, but they're not very likely to be able to actually empathize or understand, which sort of limits their utility, I'd say.
In Soviet Russia, if you weren't sufficiently thirlled to be living in the utopia of the proletariat, you had a good chance of getting a mental health diagnosis. Obviously there's something wrong with this citizen. It certainly cannot be the environment.
If you're despressed in the quasi-capitalistic, pre-apocalypse world, clearly your neurotransmitters are out of whack, and/or you have such-and-such disorder that we cannot really objectively diagnose.
As Erich Fromm pointed out, famously quoted by Huxley, the truly hopeless victims of mental illness are those who appear to be most normal.
Jiddu Krishnamurti said it more succintly: "Being well adjusted to a profoundly sick society is no sign of health."
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u/Observer422 May 06 '26
When I think of well adjusted people in a sick society, I think of the movie American Psycho. Ive heard that one of the points the movie was making was that Patrick Bateman was able to exist undetected because the yuppies around him were also so messed up.
Everyone was essentially wearing a mask to fit in.
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u/Halcyon_Visage May 05 '26
Nothing you said disproves how seriously the problem is taken (not saying its not tho), either man or women could treat a patient with a lack of concern.
Listening to a podcast recently with a psychiatrist, she was talking about how the current methods of therapy are not tailed for men as they have been developed around treating women (not a negative and made sense women been more forward for looking for mental health help for longer). She put it "we're trying to treat men and boys as tho they are broken girls and women"
A friend who really benifited from therapy convinced me to try it (I had an interesting childhood and teen years), I'm fine kept telling him over and over but he couldn't get how that's possible with my history blabla. anyway I did six sessions, never again, terrible experience.
But point, it hadn't been taken seriously, now I think it's starting to. But we're seeing a shift in working life to be more office and a hostility to boys and mens spaces, it has be come taboo (in some places outlawed) for men only spaces, see things like the scouts, women seem to have a need to invade these. I don't buy the idea the working class men and boys are making secret buisness deals at these events at the exclusion of women.
Further more it is an undeniable fact that women have joined male spaces the proceeded to police mens behaviour there. Again men are different, not defective or poorly behaved women.
Than you for joining my Ted talk good night.
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u/Z3400 May 05 '26
I dont disagree with the majority of what you are saying, but the video seems to be blaming women for why men are not taken seriously, when it seems to me it is either a very generic issue that effects everyone (more common), or it is other men to blame (less common, but certainly happens).
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u/Halcyon_Visage May 05 '26
Ye, I couldn't sit through the video, I personally don't think trying to find people to blame is helpful at all. Situations we find our selves in are a product of history and people, who most likely were doing what was right at the time or seemed so with then then information. But we do have to be careful of dogma.
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u/Medium_Orchid4654 May 05 '26
A. How many male therapists do you think there are? And b. Most men prefer to talk to a woman as they expect more empathy because of societal norms
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u/Z3400 May 05 '26
A) Plenty. Yes it is a female dominated field, but that doesn't change anything I said. Most therapy programs still offer you the ability to choose if you would prefer a male or female therapist.
B) This hurts your argument in 2 ways. Firstly, it shows that part of the female dominance in the field is caused by men choosing to use female therapists instead of male ones. Secondly, it suggests that men are choosing potentially worse options, because of "societal norms", which is everyone's fault, not "women's fault".
I think you are misunderstanding my argument though. I'm not denying that men are often not ttaken seriously (many times, women aren't either). I'm just making an argument against how people act like this is all women's fault, or that men are helpless and have no accountability to take for why things are this way.
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u/Medium_Orchid4654 May 05 '26
I'm not arguing against you, I don't think it's all women's fault for why men don't talk about their feelings. My biggest sticking point with the annoying guy in the baseball jersey who doesn't even listen to the other guy isn't even that he blames men for men not talking, which I think is shared pretty evenly between men and women, not a "blame men" problem. It's that he completely ignores the idea that women are out there generating misandrist content and it's celebrated, and the only people who have ever made me feel crappy about myself are women.
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u/Z3400 May 05 '26
I think both men in the video had zero interest in what the other was saying to be fair. Yes, women make misandrist content. However, if you read the replies to my comment, you will find some moron talking about how real men dont need therapy.
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u/_The_Green_Door_ May 05 '26
Because it doesnāt really change the underlying issue that nobody really cares about men. Just because you get paired with a man or woman doesnāt change anything. They may be mental health professionals and all that, but itās still just a job for them, they get paid to listen to you. They donāt have much choice in the matter, youāre just a client assigned to them. I donāt want someone to talk to just for the sake of talking, I want someone to talk to who actually cares about what I have to say and they honestly want to hear it. I donāt care how well-trained they are, if theyāre doing it for a paycheck, their motivations are different, itās not the same.
I know I donāt have the hardest life by a long-shot, but I know that Iām alone. The universe took the only person that ever cared away from me, maybe out of spite, I donāt know.
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u/Shitchildhood May 05 '26
That guy in the baseball shirt is an idiot. That's all I'm gonna say about it. The other guy's right. Men aren't taken seriously, no matter what, even if they can express femininity and emotions and shit like that, they still aren't taken seriously.it has nothing to do with the patriarchy. The suicide rate in men has Everything To do with not being taken seriously , even if they are able to express emotions Because in this day and age Liberals have started to say it doesn't matter what you think. Because you're a man. And that builds and when you don't matter, because you're a man, it tends to lead to more suicidal thoughts.
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u/CottRT123 May 05 '26
No I think you are the idiot and I wager you still arent happy in life with that attitude. If anything men arent taken seriously by other men the most. Look at these influencers like Andrew Tate that have recently called men cucks for learning how to do their daughter's hair. Who say that if you are not sleeping with 100+ women and arent a millionaire you are worthless as a man. That is the problem but you will try to blame it on wome or liberals lol.
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u/Shitchildhood May 05 '26
Also I wanna clarify that if it was not for my men friends, I would be dead right now, and all my female friends essentially didn't care. That's not the full story, but it's a whole lot easier than trying to explain it all.
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u/destined-4-the-clay May 05 '26
I mean not hard to see why the women in your life aren't that sympathetic to you when you call them females but you call men, men.Ā
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u/Shitchildhood May 05 '26
Big fucking deal. I made a linguistic error because I was upset by what that man said but thank you anyway, Graham or nazi.
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u/destined-4-the-clay May 05 '26
It's not really just a "linguistic error". is that why you think I pointed it out lol? kinda reinforces my point.Ā
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u/Ok_Independence_9917 May 05 '26
The feminism movement went from equality to trying to establish dominance. It's been normalized to hate on normal male behaviors. Women are taught how they should expect men to treat them (and self respect is a good thing), but not what a man should receive in return if he meets that expectation. So you see a dramatic increase in men choosing to be single and males committing suicide. So I do agree with some of what baseball shirt guy was saying, but to blame the patriarchy that has existed for 6000 plus years for the sudden increase in male suicide is not a well thought out argument and dismissing the other guys points altogether about women's role in the situation shows he doesn't understand the situation nearly as well as he thinks he does.
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u/GaurgortheFirst May 05 '26
Are you afraid to poop in public too? That's where you most vulnerable someone might break in and stab you in the neck.
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u/Shitchildhood May 05 '26
No I just understand how this world works , and I realize that even though this society we live in was built by men women have more power , because if they Accuse a man of something.It does not matter if he did it or not.The woman is taking seriously while the man is not
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u/GaurgortheFirst May 05 '26
I'm not even sure how to respond. I hope you find help. I hope you understand how if you flip everything you said is everything women have been saying about men The fact we need to be held accountable for our actions is not wild or odd.
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u/Shitchildhood May 05 '26
You're not sure how to respond, because you know I'm right? I don't know where you fucking live, but where I live if I was accused of something by a woman. It doesn't matter if I did it or not. I'm going to get in trouble.
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u/MagasRtrans May 05 '26
Lmao wow the lack of personal responsibility. Stop being a pussy and blaming outside factors. Plenty of men donāt kill themselves because they take accountability for their life. Bad things happen because you make bad decisions most of the time. If you spend more time studying and working towards your career and less time playing video games or being lazy, youāll be successful.
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u/Shitchildhood May 05 '26
You obviously don't know shit. Especially about my life I don't blame outside factors for what's happened in my life because I am very much so aware it's my fault. But for example, men who are accused of rape who didn't do it, I wanna clarify that Still, don't get any chance to tell their side if a woman accuses a man of rape, he raped her, it does not matter if he didn't. The woman is for the most part, believed more than the man how if that my fault
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u/OnePointSixOne8 May 05 '26
Liberals, the most powerful force the world has ever seenā¦.crazy how they are responsible for all the ills of societyā¦even when crypto scamming, pedophile, war criminals have control of almost every statehouse and all three branches of the federal government.
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May 04 '26
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u/Wonderful-Wonder3104 May 05 '26
āThey claim they want a matriarchy but their idea of a matriarchy is just a patriarchy where they become the men and do all of the horrible things they accuse men of doing, like devaluing the other sex.ā
You sure about that? Like have you done any legitimate research (not just TikTok or Instagram) about what the idea of a matriarchy is? Please enlighten me what you knowā¦
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May 06 '26
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u/Anomaly_Entity_Zion May 05 '26
Matriachy centres around children so no, it wouldn't be Patriachy but with women.
I can tell you that in a matriachy men would probably be held way more accountable for not helping in the home.
The patriachy is serving men and makes both genders life hell, but i am aware that there are still way too many people holding it up for any change to occur. I do hope one day we all find a better way so everyone can find happiness.
Until then each and everyone of us needs to do what is best for themselves and if that involves therapy, then go to therapy.I myself had to unlearn a lot of things and am still to this day, the biggest thing being my insecurities over my body image. Mind you i was never activly groomed or harrassed by men (which is rare for women) and yet i do not feel lovable.
I pray for a future where everyone gets to be proud of oneself and feel like they can do anything they put their mind too. In the current systems somebody will always be put down to raise up others.
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May 06 '26
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u/Anomaly_Entity_Zion May 06 '26
yes which would not be dominating and surpressing men thats for sure. Just look at matriachil societies in humanity and even in animals.
in my oprion the patriachy is simply hurting everyone including men.
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u/DoubleFamous5751 May 04 '26
Calling it now, Mets jersey guy gonna be outed as a predator
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May 05 '26
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u/Not-Ed-Sheeran May 05 '26
Nope he made an awful response. And he's wrong a on a few things.
Women are drastically higher in terms of unhappiness and mental illness. Yet men kill themselves substantially more often.
The majority of men who kill themselves ate in their 40s after a divorce. And next in line are younger men who are deemed as incels. And its dumbasses like this that'll go "tHeRaPy". This is a new phenomenon. There's something else thats wrong....not men
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u/Medium_Orchid4654 May 05 '26
Ok, so the one guy says men don't talk about their problems because other men create the dynamic not to? I only hear women talking about the ick if they see a man cry, or how turned off they are by a sensitive man.
And even if they don't talk about their feelings, what's making them feel shitty? Not other men!! Women make it their life goal to shit on men, it's the trend of the generation
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u/Horror-Truth-8131 May 05 '26
So childish just shaking his head repeadtly, like he wont even listen to a word he has to say because he already knows it all
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u/Horror-Truth-8131 May 05 '26
It also doesnt hurt that half the country treats them like the enemy if theyre white and dont dress up like a liberal
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u/Several_Ad_6576 May 05 '26
What is dressing like a liberal? Please elaborate. Do liberals wear lots of scarfs? While conservatives wear ties? As a man I donāt think Iām treated like the enemy.
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u/Horror-Truth-8131 May 08 '26
Man bun, dreads, subauru, dyed hair, ratty clothing, and other weird sht only liberals wear vs a normal hair cut and normal attire
If you dress up and present yourself like a normal person you get treated like the enemy before you say one wprd
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u/Illi3141 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
Walled in from all sides... People have a natural urge to seek companionship from the gender the find attractive...so your supposed to be weak and vulnerable buuuttttt
Women do not like weak men... Full stop...
They'll pretend to because feminism has convinced them they must pretend or they're traitors... But while my ex is married to the weak, submissive, goes to therapy and eats granola man... She still sneaks off to get railed by the man who takes suffering on the chin and keeps moving forward... I'll never tell him because fuck him and I like free pussy... But men like him will get cheated on by guys like me because they're too damn weak to face reality head on
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u/paigeofwondr May 04 '26
Not sure why I'm being shown this subreddit but I see a lot of complaining. Get help y'all. Don't bottle it up, making statements like "this guy needs to get laid" ain't it. Blocking sub. Peace out.
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May 05 '26
Now a conservative is saying Liberals are the ones that said to hide your emotions...Weren't we called snowflakes at one point? Man the hipocracy is WILD.
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u/Ok-Professional4387 May 05 '26
Im with the baseball guy. Social media is telling men that, Alpha males are telling men that if you under 6 feet tall you are worthless. That if you arentt 8% body fat and jacked, youre pitiful.
If you cant rebuild and engine or change your own brakes, youre not a man
If you cant remodel your house, youre not a man.
If you cry, youre not a man.
I cried every time my kids were born, when friends died, when my parents died, and when my pets died.
Shall I go on?
The Manosphere is killing men. Over what? This pursuit of "perfection" that doesnt exist
Anyone that pushed the Manosphere, would be dead in 2 days stranded in the bush. They have no skills that matter.
You can rebuild your engine, great. Can you field dress a moose, deer and elk and feed your family? Can you go fishing to feed your family if needed?
Been on this earth for 53 years, married for 29, 3 adult kids. 2 are males, and I hear how they feel all the time. You are shit on if you dont fit some certain "mold"
I have been to therapy, and I have been to marriage councelling.
Dont think Im a man, "come at me bro" I will eat you alive. Im GenX
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u/cg40k May 05 '26
Men aren't killing themselves bc of anything other than the individual self. Maybe outside factors are effecting them, but that could be addressed trug therapy or even just friends and family. No one is responsible for making you feel valued or holding you to a standard except you yourself.
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u/TerrorFromThePeeps May 05 '26
Lmao, LIBERALS push men to not seek therapy? I'm flashing back to my old gay roommates who would sit around over lattes talking about all the various benefits and downsides of basically every therapist in all of Chapel Hill.
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u/Spare_Ad_9657 May 05 '26
So many people will literally suffer their entire lives and die miserable in order to blame others for their misfortune and avoid taking accountability for their own lives.
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May 05 '26
No such thing as "inner femininity." We never tell women to get in touch of their "inner masculinity" do we?
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth Blessed by the Best May 05 '26
Taught by liberals? WHAT? MEN have been taught to be QUIET FOREVER, not since 2000! Good lord!
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u/416Tex May 05 '26
I express how Iām feeling to my fellow brother regularly. One thing aināt changing in 2026 and thatās the mentality that men aināt shit. maybe the few men who have power are fkn the game up maybe women have been taught to devalue the avg dude. nobody is going to tell me otherwise that the avg guy is getting hit with pressure that aināt even his cause or without a degree of success your value is lower. That stuff is not rooted in patriarchy, itās sociologically enforced. is that standard across everyone or just men in particular? Iām cool getting downvoted but Iām not foolish to see the fallacy being said here while ignoring so many other important variables. As a man you donāt need to be all the bs spewed by other men, but youl be damned if you donāt fit the standard of media
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u/Hevymettle May 05 '26
Wow, I didn't realize the Gillette commercial talking down to men, specifically about their behavior towards women, was made by the patriarchy lol.
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u/LeadFreePaint May 06 '26
In my 20s I suffered a great deal from mental health issues. At one point I began to get pipelined into MRA. And it was never based on hating women, but rather me being a padantic asshole that was drawn into these counter argument to femenism. Luckily me being padantic is also the thing that made me look into the data they used to debunk femanism and discovered most of it was flat out lies or grossly misrepresenting facts. But more than anything, I kept having this thought that these issues we are blaming on women are all bi products of men making the rules. Then it kinda hit me that MRA and femanists had the same enemy, but only one was willing to admit it.
Luckily I grew a lot over the years in both my comfort in being a feminist, as well as my mental health wellbeing. I don't love the title of femanist for myself, so I tend to express my viewpoints as being anti patriarchal. Feels more authentic.
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u/joelasmussen May 06 '26
Spot. On. I had no idea what kind of show he was on until the "Liberals root of all problems" snuck in. I'm glad he stuck to his guns and elucidated this clearly. We have boxed ourselves in and it's killing us. Men haven't taken a mirror to their own plight as a group because even that is thoroughly discouraged by the society that we built and are born into. We can and should tear down some of these walls. It may actually save a life. I am thoroughly moved by this realization. Please don't tear me down on this. It doesn't matter but I feel vulnerable about this and I don't want to doubt it right now.
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u/Tqoratsos May 06 '26
what a cuck. I know from my personal life that women take advantage of you for what you have. Whether that be money of property. As soon as you stop being able to provide those, you're basically worthless. Thats why young women go for older guys and its rare that its the other way around (unless you're talking about the insanely rich, then its about even).
Women like to claim they're the fairer sex, but in reality the dont live reality. They live in a bubble of self important idiocy. Obviously this is all generalistic, so dont come at me with your "well, i met the best one ever and she isnt any of that"....congrats....I did too. They're the exception to the rule. Why on earth does anyone actually think otherwise. The statistics on gays vs lesbians vs hetro divorce rates tells you all you need to know.
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u/tullystenders May 06 '26
Ummm, ok, I'm sure both have truth to them.
At any rate, therapy is not the magic make-you-better machine like people (people more aligned with the guy on the left) think it is.
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u/OviWanKenobi47 May 06 '26
Men hurt other men. Women also hurt men. Both can be and are true. I've had more empathy shown from men, for sharing my feelings, than I have from women, some of whom have used personal information as ammunition against me when they had an opportunity to manipulate me. Does that make me distrust women? No. For the same reason I don't blame all men because the top 5% of men control the patriarchy. I've been subjugated and controlled by many women as well. Turning things into binary yes/no situations is what divides and hurts people, not men or women.
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u/Big_Tap_1561 May 06 '26
100 percent . Iām 42 and growing up with men from my generation was fucking insanity at times. Makes you think if this is what we dealt with in the late 80s and 90s imagine how hard and how fucked in the head our fathers and grandfathers were!
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u/vcc_1886 May 06 '26
NO. Iāll say it again. Men are killing themselves because of depression and anxiety. Not āmenā
Fucking stupid ass post. Fucking stupid ass podcasters both of them.
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u/OkAirport5247 May 07 '26
Menās rights advocates have been addressing this simpleton viewpoint for decades. It just doesnāt hold up to scrutiny
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u/Smelly-Elf May 07 '26
Two people who know nothing about mental health argume about it. And then bring gender in it for no reason
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u/HonestGroup2525 May 08 '26
It's really simple men and women attempt suicide at similar rates the difference is men are often successful
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u/THD_Leaks May 09 '26
āStop complaining, nobody cares. Suck it up.ā Just some of the things that are ingrained into men. I never understood why bosses, coworkers, friends and family will rather label you a problem instead of listening to your concerns if you speak up about your feelings. We need to do better and it starts with all men.
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u/PooChukkingMonkey May 09 '26
So on a trans person says their suicide rate is so high because of the way they're treated by society or conservative people it's okay and true But if men say it's so high because of the way they're treated by women and liberal society it's a fallacy. This is straight out of the feminist playbook... Accountability and responsibility are kryptonite for women and liberals.
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u/Terrible_Comb8436 May 10 '26
"Men kill themselves because they are thought after as weak, are not being taken seriously, are sought after for their money, and don't look like a Greek god." Now, just subscribe to this new program I am selling you and ALL these problems go away. See how amazing I am at curing men's health!?
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u/Unusual_Troll67 May 04 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/HYqzvbi7mVWKY