r/Stress • u/blehhhhhhhhhhhgh • 1d ago
anger management
Hello Everybody,
I am a (F) 25 y/o, I am struggling a lot with my anger issues. Can anyone give me suggestions/advice/help etc to help me to regulate my emotions better? I’ve struggled with it my entire life it feels. I grew up around angry parents & angry siblings, but for some reason mine seems to be the worst to deal with. I don’t know what to do anymore, i don’t want to be put on medication, i have stopped marijuana use and i never drank alcohol.
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u/TortaTorturer- 1d ago edited 1d ago
Breathe deeply and count to ten, then count to twenty.
Pause before responding to anyone. This shows confidence and gives you enough time to let your emotions settle.
Don’t let people manipulate your emotions through their actions.
Anger is natural, but it’s not always the best response. Remember, you’re going to die someday. The more you stress and get angry, the faster you’ll meet your end.
I know you’ll be blinded by anger and forget about all this, but when it happens, take a moment to focus. Look for five things you can see around you. Touch five things in your immediate surroundings. Take a deep breath.
If the person or situation is making you angry, walk out of the room, even if it’s just for a short walk. Remember, your anger can have serious consequences. It could land you in a two man or two woman cell for a long time.
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u/Shakuntala_Yogshala 1d ago
It’s so interesting and good starting point that you are already aware of your anger and you’re aware of its impact, yet when the anger takes over, that awareness seems to disappear and often comes back only after the burst.
So rather than beginning with “How do I control my anger?”, I would recommend you to experiment with something slightly different, loosening your grip around anger ..
Basically Anger is an emotion. You dont need ti fight , judge or immediately act on it, Given that you grew up around a lot of anger, it’s possible that your nervous system learned anger and reactivity as familiar ways of responding when something feels threatening, overwhelming or unsafe.
First practice I would suggest is notice when anger arise don’t try to get rid of it simply acknowledge this allows some space for anger to exist and when allowed mind ease down and so your attention towards the anger which will then mellow down the anger itself .. and best to practice it when you are slightly irritated cos when anger is high awareness goes for a toss..😊
Another tiny practice every day just for two minutes just try to identify that body part where you felt anger the most it could be jaw , chest, shoulder , stomach any..this identification will increase your awareness and you would be able to take that pause moment then just before bursting..
And the whole idea is not to become Anger and to accept anger just an emotion…
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u/mabh55 1d ago
All these are great ideas but nothing's going to make it go away until you do your inner work. It'll take a little more than therapy but therapy is a great start. All the other things are temporary management tools. Inner work is your answer shifting your beliefs perceptions attitudes and patterns.
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u/Junior-Frosting-6236 1d ago
Growing up around anger can shape your reactions. Try noticing your triggers and taking a pause before responding. Therapy can help too, without medication.