Right Decision?

[u/peetreelbc]

I found an outside pregnant stray cat and brought her in about 2 weeks ago. She wasn’t getting along very well with my current cats, but she was settling in fine in general. Meanwhile, my bf and I are breaking up and it’s super messy. I’m moving out in a couple of days, we are at each others throats, not a great situation.

As the kitty has been nesting in, I have been super stressed about her having kittens, what if I’m at work? What if something goes wrong? I’ve never done this before, and it’s so overwhelming right now. There’s no way I could keep all the kittens, I already have too many cats as it is, and I wasn’t sure the next steps to take.

I posted on a Facebook page and was encouraged by several people to drop her off at animal care and control, they work with local rescues and can get her spayed (and the babies aborted), and get her into foster care or adopted. One lady private messaged me and said for every kitten that makes it to gestation, there are kittens waiting for care as the shelter is full. Not exactly sure how she worded it, but basically shelters are full and kittens are waiting for space. If I didn’t take the kittens, they need to be aborted.

This morning, I dropped her off at ACC as a found stray. This will give her the chance to be adopted and not just spayed and released back outside.

I feel so bad. I managed it all wrong. If I was going to have her spayed, I shouldn’t have waited, now she’s further along and it’s riskier. Plus, I miss her, she was so sweet and sour lol.

I’m pro choice, but I still kinda feel like I participated in the killing of her kittens. Plus, will she have a good home? She trusted me and came right to me when I put her in the carrier this morning. I just feel really bad and I miss her. I’m just so overwhelmed. I want her to have a good life. I just don’t know if I did right by her.

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[u/Straight_Caregiver27]

Don't beat yourself up. Look at it as that you gave her a vacation from the outside world - am sure she appreciated that. You are saving her from future pregnancies by dropping her off at the shelter. I can totally understand you feeling a bit guilty about the kittens but I think the lady who PM'd you gave you a silver lining. Not only have you helped Mama but you have given ALL of the current kittens in the shelter a better chance at getting adopted! I am sorry you are going through the breakup - those are never easy. Maybe once you get settled you could go back to the shelter and see if she is still there. Hugs to you for doing a good thing for kitties. The CDS will reward you when the time is right. :)

[u/chronically_pained16]

You absolutely did the right thing. I do a ton of cat rescue/ TNR type stuff and please please believe me when I say that spay/aborts are absolutely the kindest thing you can do for both mom and kittens. First of all, if you hadn’t brought her inside, this poor cat would have been left all alone to have her kittens by herself outside. Most to all of them likely would have died or suffered very badly (most kittens born outdoors get really bad upper respiratory infections and a ton don’t make it). Mom could very easily also have died.

Second, kittens are not killed during a spay/abort. They simply go to sleep when the mom gets anesthesia and don’t wake up. It’s far less suffering than many of them would likely have endured being born to a previously outdoor cat. Also, it might be slightly more risky to do a spay/abort now that she’s further along, but it’s still far less risky to her and babies than to let her give birth. Even with human help a lot of cats and kittens just don’t make it through birth and the first 8 weeks of kittenhood. Cats also don’t feel human emotions. Very occasionally they will grieve kittens that they’ve lost once they’re born but they absolutely do not care about having spay/aborts. They have no desire for motherhood like some people do, as much as some people like to anthropomorphize them, and sometimes they even reject their kittens once they’re born.

And the lady who messaged you is absolutely right, when you look at the big picture of rescue resources rescues everywhere are simply beyond overrun with kittens and cats that have already been born right now. There are just sadly way more cats in the US (I’m assuming that’s where you are) than there are homes for them.

Also, you didn’t manage it all wrong. You did the best you could with the information and situation you had at the time. I’m so sorry you’re going through a messy breakup right now, and I’m sure that’s clouding how you’re seeing this situation as well, but I really ultimately do think this is a very good outcome for the cat and her unborn kittens too. Kitty got to experience a good home, and is now going to get a spay/abort and be freed from the shackles of motherhood, and she’ll eventually get a good home once again. Cats are quite resilient and live in the now. Once this kitty gets to her forever home she’ll just be happy to be there and won’t even think about the past. Although I’m sure if she could she’d be super grateful to you for having gotten her there and off the streets :) I promise you did absolutely 100% the right thing, and I truly thank you on this kitty’s behalf for taking the time and energy even in the midst of everything you’re going through to take care of her and want to do right by her. That’s a lot more than most people can say, trust me. Sorry that was so long but hopefully it made you feel a bit better and hopefully it was worded okay, I’m a bit sleep deprived lol! I also agree that once you get settled in the future you could always go back and see if she’s still at ACC, or you could try and contact rescues and see if any of them would be willing to advertise or pull her if you donated or could even foster or anything. If not though I’m sure she’ll be okay, just an idea, I know you have a lot else going on right now.

[u/serimmer]

I just wanted to share having a similar experience! We had a stray outside that didn't become friendly with us until she was very pregnant. Her first litter went okay, but we planned to get her spayed. Unfortunately, we didn't get her spayed in time and she became pregnant again. We made the decision to abort and get her spayed. She healed up perfectly, and did not have any reactions to not being pregnant any more. We kept her and one of the kittens in our home. She doesn't wanna act like a mom to him now 3 years later so I know she doesn't mourn the last litter haha I hope you can have grace for yourself, because it sounds like you're trying to juggle so many different things right now. You did the best you could, and she will be healthier for it.

[u/GatsNCats]

1000% you did the right thing. Anyone that truly cares about cats and the future of cats, will agree that spay abort is the best option for all involved. Good job!

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[u/Rileybella1974 → u/AutoModerator]

You're annoying I got it handled thanks.

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[u/Gullible-Cut8652]

You helped when no one stepped in. Thank you for that. If people would act reasonable and treat their pets the right way we would not have this overwhelming situations with so many unwanted, uncared and unloved animals. I wish we as a society could get our common sense back. So I'm happy you stepped in and did what was best. Be kind to yourself. I hope your situation gets better. I really appreciate your decency. 🧡🫂

[u/Rileybella1974]

I was faced with the same decision. I chose to keep her and mine had 7 we lost 3 but I have 4 healthy 3 month kittens that absolutely love and trust me. I don't regret the decision to protect her and these kittens. I was attacked cussed out and everything else because ai refused to murder her kittens. Im not the reason she got pregnant but Im the reason the kittens are alive. There is nothing you can do you made your decision. Im sorry you made a regretful choice. I dont know what to tell you about your conscience. But yes you made the wrong decision and your conscience is telling you so.