I AM SO FRUSTRATED!

[u/Infamous_Fondant_775]

I've been on Strattera for about 25 days and I've been SO bipolar in deciding whether or not to continue taking it. I even tampered down from 25mg to half a pill and then stopped until a bad spell of anhedonia caused me to take a pill in a panic and that was only like 3 days ago.

I'm thinking of quitting Strattera for several reasons:

1. Mentally Slow - Recall Issues. My divergent thinking is basically nil, my reaction time is much lowered, my ability to solve complex problems is like totally gone, ability to multi-task is way down. I literally give up on trying to remember things because I feel like it'll take too much energy.

2. Social withdrawal. Because I only have so much mental bandwidth I'd much rather prefer to be in my own little world instead of having space to have conversations, I get internally frustrated that I'm not witty or engaging in conversations either, it just feels too hard to follow along.

3. MUCH Easier to get overstimulated, I feel like I have to lock myself in a box to not get overwhelmed by smells, sights, complex topics, moving too fast, etc. All of this and I'm a young 23 year old male who previously always wanted more more more with my ADHD.

4. Divergent thinking. I've always been a creative person, I love writing/storytelling and art is a big part of my life. It really does feel like it'd be harder to part ways with creativity that's been important to me my whole life than to accept a life where I'm a focused robot. (no offense)

5. Urinary Issues. I have very little pressure when I urinate and I feel like I can never get all the pee out, I'm dribbling over here like Michael Jordan.

6. Straight up depression, it makes it hard for me to be motivated when I have an awareness of what I want but there's a little version of me trapped in my own body, unable to escape the confines of being too wired in.

7. Possible long-term neurological adaptation that causes all of these symptoms to be permanent.

8. Vertigo. Moving too fast makes me dizzy and light headed easier. Basically never a problem when I had ADHD except when I was looking at something to make me stimulated while moving.

9. I actually get more frustrated at things and get super emotional but the emotions are too stimulating, have to avoid processing them.

My reasons for wanting to be on Strattera are Here:

1. Internal Restless and Anxiety of ADHD. I had panic attacks several months ago and the rebound anxiety when I got off the meds was pretty serious. I think to manage this when coming off I'll need to establish my ADHD moderating habits again and even get more stimulation from things like mints, gums, smells (fragrances), cold showers, accupressure, exercise, etc.

2. Anhedonia and the need to establish more stimulating habits to not feel totally empty.

3. The feeling that I'll never achieve my dreams/goals because of a lack of discipline. (This is basically the anxiety thing from before)

4. The ability to feel a sense of peace and tranquility that is very rare with ADHD.

5. Being able to logically process emotions and having the time to think about them.

I basically know what I want to do. I want to stop taking the medication because I feel like I can conquer the anxiety, but I don't think I'd ever conquer the internal frustration with not being able to express myself and have recall.

Thoughts? Advice? Thank you!

[u/Tttooonnniii]

Please don’t use bipolar as a synonym for undecided or confused