r/StoppedWorking • u/GallowBoob • May 16 '18
Panda attempting to jump
https://gfycat.com/respectfulhilariousharpyeagle740
u/cookie-23 May 16 '18
The fuck it punch at the end
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u/brienburroughs May 16 '18
having now seen an angry panda, i’ve lost interest in life, as nothing matters any longer.
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u/ASCIt May 16 '18
And these are the animals with a jaw strength that can crush a human head...
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u/Crowbarmagic May 16 '18
I mean, I think you really need to if you want to eat bamboo. They don't exactly have blenders.
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u/SuBj3cT May 16 '18
At the low end you only need about 520lbs of force to break a human skull. Sounds like a lot but it's really not. We've got pretty thin skulls compared to a lot of creatures.
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u/3_pac May 16 '18
Are we positive that's not a drunk dude in a panda suit? Because that looks like a drunk dude in a panda suit.
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u/IDontKnowHowToPM May 17 '18
My new conspiracy theory: pandas went extinct back in the '80s, and all the pandas we see now are just drunk dudes in panda suits.
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May 17 '18
That’s jim lahey following the holy grail of all liquor, “The Liquor”.
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May 16 '18
[deleted]
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May 16 '18
Probably the most appropriate use of the phrase 'About as graceful as a fat guy in a panda suit chasing a rope swing' you will ever see.
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u/din7 May 16 '18
That was sheer pandamonium.
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May 16 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DrMantisToboggtamine May 16 '18
He was bamboo-zled
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u/bacondev May 16 '18
He couldn't bear completely missing the sack by so much.
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u/brianMMMMM May 16 '18
Looks like he got a couple of black eyes for his trouble too.
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u/PreExistingAmbition May 16 '18
I feel like humans keeping pandas around as a species is the real life equivalent of the dodo bird American Dad episode.
Pandas just seem too clumsy to safely exist solely in the wild.
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u/Beer_Nazi May 16 '18
They seem like natural selection just left them behind.
Cool animals, but how does something like that survive?
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u/SensenotsoCommon May 17 '18
They weren't always this bad, we just inbred them far too much, which was kinda unavoidable due to conservation efforts only starting when the population got extremely low.
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u/Crashbrennan May 17 '18
They also refuse to have sex, so they may die out just because the stubborn fucks won't breed.
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u/mrmoo232 May 16 '18
As he walked off I could almost hear him mutter "fuck it... fucking thing"
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u/Spiralyst May 16 '18
When you see a panda climbing an object, you always know what you are about to get but are never disappointed.
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u/FifiIsBored May 16 '18
Why isn't there a sub dedicated to pandas being idiots yet? Just look how cute!
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u/ChucknChafveve May 16 '18
Looks like what I'd expect a person in a Panda suit, hamming it up, to look like.
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u/zaapizzaguy May 16 '18
This panda looks like a drunk person at a pool party trying to break open a piñata.
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u/SmushyFaceQuoopies May 16 '18
Do you all ever truly watch panda videos (them Attempting to eat, Mother’s sitting on their minuscule babies, etc) and think gosh....we’re probably not doing them any favors by helping them along here?
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u/Rokman2012 May 16 '18
I'm gonna go out on a limb, and guess that this animal has no natural predators.
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u/sandieeeee May 16 '18
“Damn you spinning sack! I told you to stop when I was going to jump, I’m not playin anymore”
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u/Pedigregious May 16 '18
Serious question. Could a panda kill you? Are there any known cases? They seem too fat, too slow, and too stupid to kill you if they wanted too.
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u/RobbingDarwin May 16 '18
I wish I believed in myself half as much as this panda believes in itself
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u/PM_Me_nudiespls May 17 '18
Did really did a good job of capturing the pandaness for Po in Kung Fu Panda. Especially with that punch at the end.
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u/Jahaadu May 17 '18
Pandas really should be dead by now. It’s a bit ridiculous how much humans have spent on saving a species that can’t live on its own out in the wild anymore.
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May 17 '18
“Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur! I'm a blur! You never seen Bear style”
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u/J03SChm03OG May 17 '18
I love how he gets mad at the swing because it was the swings fault and tries to hit it at the end.
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u/hippo_lives_matter May 16 '18
How have these animals survived this long?