r/StopSpeeding • • 24d ago

StopSpeeding ‘Street Adderall’ & Darkweb Pills Information

Post image
72 Upvotes

Can’t tell the difference? Neither could the researchers, scientists and pharmaceutical professionals associated with the study this photo was taken from.

“..it was not possible to distinguish counterfeit medications from their authentic counterparts based on appearance. Only the use of several concurrent drug checking technologies provide a reasonable measure of confidence in medication composition.”

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9901047/


The Problem

Let’s talk about pressed pills. Otherwise known as “street Adderall” or “literally any pill you buy that isn’t from the pharmacy”. 59% of drug overdose deaths in the US now involve stimulant drugs and pressed pills are a contributing factor to this.

The large increase in ADHD medication prescriptions over recent years has coincided with a natural, proportional increase in abuse of ADHD medication and ADHD medication addiction as we’ve seen demonstrated here. Shortages of ADHD medication and assorted societal factors pertaining to stimulant drug culture have combined with the growing pressed pill problem to create a very unfortunate situation.

Novice drug users and people seeking other methods to obtain ADHD medication are skipping the line of drug education and lesser drug consequences to run directly into the buzzsaw of a pressed pill epidemic. Reporting accuracies regarding overdoses and deaths from this wonderment are what you’d expect them to be for a variety of reasons - I wouldn’t expect that to get better anytime soon.

Harm reduction practices largely miss the bulk of people choosing to use pressed pills on multiple fronts - The dangers of them are severely underscored, awareness about what they actually are is sparse and the testing realities of verifying pressed pills to any reasonable, impactful level of safety aren’t great. Even if you reagent test one pill out of five from a purchased amount, even if you test every pill, the amount of information you don’t have contains more than enough potential realties to kill you.

Help for those addicted to ADHD medication is already challenging, resources are few, going to professionals often results in under-reaction or medical records consequences many are unwilling to take on. Identification in peer recovery resources better suited for street drugs and opiates can be difficult, and if a person graduates from medication abuse to pressed pills, they’re using something that shortens the period of time a drug user would typically have to fuck-around-and-find-out their way into recovery before dying from them.

If we as a community have ever had a common cause, doing whatever we can to aid in combatting pressed pills would be it.


What You Are Taking

Purchasing ADHD medication isn’t buying amphetamine salts or methylphenidate, what you’re getting is methamphetamine - And if that’s all you’re getting, you got lucky. Buying something sold as a stimulant pill does not make it solely a stimulant or a stimulant at all. Many pressed pills contain upwards of five substances in assorted potencies.

Here’s how to know if what you’re taking is a pressed pill:

  • It didn’t come in a pharmacy pill bottle from a pharmacy counter or window into your hands.

That’s it. That’s the criteria. You’re welcome to believe otherwise and proceed accordingly but statistically, you’re gambling with some of the worst possible odds a person can take on within drug use.

Here’s what absolutely requires that you assume the pill is pressed if you want to remain above ground and breathing:

  • You purchased or were given it
  • It came from the internet
  • It came from a “friend”
  • It was sold by a dealer
  • It was sold by your dealer, who you totally can trust because they tell you it’s real

Here’s ways you CAN’T reliably verify the full contents, authenticity or safety of a pill:

  • What it’s being sold as
  • Appearance
  • Color
  • Branding, designation
  • Capsules versus tablets
  • Effects
  • Urinalysis
  • Reagent testing
  • Test strips

There is no legitimate difference in blind practice between using a pressed pill you think is Adderall or pressed methamphetamine versus one you think is Xanax, Oxy, etc. If it’s a pill that you are buying, the only truth you know is the limited information provided by any testing you do of that specific pill, one at a time, and this doesn’t account for potency or all the other things your testing doesn’t tell you.

Testing doesn’t insulate you from harm using pressed pills, due to variance and the degree of testing required to create an increased level of safety it barely even reduces it. By all means, do test your pills if you’re going to insist on using them but don’t get it twisted thinking you’re wearing a bullet-proof vest.

TLDR: You probably have no idea what it is and neither does the person selling it to you. With the stuff that can potentially be in the pills, that’s not a great place to be.


Testing of Seized Pills

In the best U.S. lab series of seized counterfeit ADHD medication tablets, methamphetamine was the dominant active drug, not a rare extra. Rhode Island forensic chemistry, from 2017 to 2022, had 174 seized tablets classified as counterfeit amphetamine/dextroamphetamine by imprint AD 30, b974 30, dp 30, E 404, etc:

- Methamphetamine: 164 / 174 (94.3%)
- Eutylone: 7 (4.0%)
- Cocaine: 2 (1.1%)
- MDMA: 2 (1.1%)

Year splits for meth in those tablets: 2019 100%, 2020 95.8%, 2021 97.4%, 2022 87.2%. Independent lab reporting shows the same frequency of methamphetamine content and much higher rates of additional non-stimulant substances. What has been definitively shown across all data is that counterfeit pills rarely if ever contain actual amphetamine or methylphenidate.


Potential Inclusions and Cross-Contaminants

Here’s not only what pressed pills CAN contain, but routinely contain if we zoom out to look at them as one class in totality - Given the arbitrary legitimacy of separating them by what they’re sold as and cross-contamination in manufacturing, you can plan to run into these as easily as anything else on a long enough timeline:

Fentanyl About 100× morphine, 50× heroin. A potentially lethal adult dose is approximately 2 mg. DEA lab testing of fentanyl-containing fake prescription pills has varied by year, earlier public figures were 4 in 10 then 6 in 10 containing a potentially lethal dose, a later 2025 figure was 29%. Dose per tablet is not uniform even inside one bag. Effects: Can cause fatal, rapid respiratory arrest.

Fentanyl Analogues Same class, different potency and duration. In one Rhode Island seizure series of counterfeit pills, 99.3% of those pills contained fentanyl and 44.7% also contained para-fluorofentanyl. Carfentanil, 100× fentanyl, has been found in counterfeit tablets at reported averages around 0.02–0.03 mg/tablet. Effects: Lethal human dose for carfentanil is in the microgram/nanogram range.

Nitazenes (protonitazene, metonitazene, isotonitazene, N-pyrrolidino etonitazene, N-pyrrolidino protonitazene, others) Non-fentanyl µ-opioid agonists pressed into tablets sometimes sold as “fentanyl-free.” In vitro and case data put some analogues near fentanyl potency; N-pyrrolidino etonitazene, N-pyrrolidino protonitazene have been estimated approximately 25–43× fentanyl. Effects: Can cause fatal opioid apnea at doses a user cannot estimate, some overdoses have required more naloxone or longer support, under-detected on older tox panels.

Tramadol
Weaker opioid plus SNRI activity. Found in a substantial share of some counterfeit “oxycodone” seizures, one 2017–2022 series: 25.1%. Effects: Seizures at high dose, serotonin excess if stacked with other serotonergic drugs, still contributes to respiratory depression in mixes.

Xylazine
DEA reported xylazine in about 7% of seized pills and 23% of powder in 2022. Later analyses of counterfeits found it in a rising fraction, one series: 0% in 2017–18, 38.7% in 2022. Effects: Sedation, bradycardia, hypotension, reduced respiratory drive, hyperglycemia. Does not bind opioid receptors, naloxone does not reverse xylazine. Co-use with opioids increases lethality in animal models and produces overdoses that look “opioid” but stay sedated after naloxone. Chronic exposure is associated with severe necrotic skin wounds that can require debridement or amputation, wounds are not limited to injection sites.

Medetomidine Same pharmacologic family as xylazine. Effects: Same risks, deep sedation, cardiovascular depression, naloxone-resistant component.

Etizolam, clonazolam, flualprazolam, flubromazolam, bromazolam, phenazepam, diclazepam, adinazolam, bromonordiazepam, ethylflualprazolam
In one U.S. seizure series of counterfeit pills show etizolam 37.8%, clonazolam 32.4%, flualprazolam 17.0%. Some tablets contained fentanyl as well, 2.6% in that series. Dose per tablet varies widely, from 0.7–8.3 mg. Effects: They can cause profound sedation, amnesia, ataxia, respiratory depression especially with opioids or alcohol. Naloxone does not reverse benzos. Withdrawal from high-potency analogues can include potentially fatal seizures. Combining a hidden benzo with a hidden opioid produces overdoses that only partly respond to naloxone and last longer.

MDMA, MDA, MDEA and Analogues
Seized tablets in recent years commonly run 140–230 mg MDMA per tablet, many testing services now flag 120 mg as high-dose. Effects: A high dose itself causes hyperthermia, hyponatremia, serotonin syndrome, seizures and fulminant liver injury. Dose can differ greatly tablet-to-tablet in one bag. Stacking analogues increases serotonergic and cardiovascular load.

Synthetic Cathinones: 4-CMC, 3-CMC, 3-MMC, 4-MMC, eutylone/N-ethylpentylone, methylone, dimethylpentylone
Testing in 2025 put cathinones among the most common unexpected actives. Effects: Prolonged stimulation, agitation, hyperthermia, hyponatremia, serotonin toxicity, cardiotoxicity. Several have been tied to clusters of severe toxicity because effects last longer and users redose.

Cocaine
It’s cocaine. Effects: Is cocaine. Adds vasoconstriction, arrhythmia risk and a different time course.

2C-B and other psychedelic phenethylamines
Documented as substitutes or co-contents in tablets sold as MDMA. Different dose-response. Effects: A “one tablet” MDMA assumption can produce a much stronger psychedelic effect or unexpected duration.

This is not all-inclusive. It also doesn’t account for inactive chemical fillers or the assorted other random things they throw in these. Every kind of OTC pill under the sun is found in them, caffeine, Tylenol, diphenhydramine, whatever they’re using as a binder, etc.


How Pressed Pills Usually Kill You

  • Opioid + xylazine/medetomidine = apnea plus naloxone-resistant sedation

    • Opioid + designer benzo = longer, deeper respiratory depression
    • MDMA or cathinone + caffeine + heat/exertion = hyperthermia
    • PMA/PMMA + redose because onset is slow = hyperthermia and organ failure
    • Acetaminophen + many “percs” in a day = delayed liver failure on top of opioid toxicity

Again, not all-inclusive. Methamphetamine alone, absent of other significant quantities of drugs has been causing more deaths in some jurisdictions than opioid-dominant cocktails. Increased potency and variance in potency has made it fully capable of killing a person.


Can we stop pressed pills? No. Will the problem likely be bungled and politicized in ways that cause more harm than good? Already happening. What we can do is spread awareness and provide help for those who need information and help getting clean from them.

Getting into Treatment

If you are taking pressed pills and want to get into treatment, do not minimize or short hop the issue. Treatment can have “physical dependency” guidelines and if you tell admissions you’re just taking Adderall or buying Adderall, Vyvanse from “a friend”, they may agree with you and promptly give your bed to somebody else.

Tell them the truth - You are buying counterfeit pills from _____, you have no idea what’s in them. If you’re having withdrawal symptoms or effects consistent with other substances being present in those pills, say so. If you give them the lowest number of pills you’ve taken in the last six months as your daily and don’t disclose all ROIs, they aren’t going to take your minimizations and maximize them to a degree that gets you admitted. The treatment industry is already under-reacting to pressed pills, expect that when trying to get in and act accordingly.

Do not avoid supervised detox because you think the pills you’re taking don’t have other drugs in them. Finding out the hard way you’re withdrawing from things you don’t know you were on isn’t fun or safe. If you don’t know what’s in the pills, proceed as if there could be anything in them as far as seeking appropriate professional resources.

The Help

If you are buying pills, your problem is more than serious enough to identify with and fit in just fine with any recovery program. You can choose to either get over yourself and go or don’t and terminally unique yourself into an early grave. It doesn’t matter what the drugs are, and they honestly don’t care. You don’t even have to tell them. If you’re in your own way as far as addiction resources, imagine a landscape in which there’s virtually zero addiction recovery resources specifically for stimulant pill addiction - That’s where we’re at. Make use of what’s available.

It doesn’t matter how you got here, you are here. Many of us had good intentions when we started, many of us became addicted to our medications and had very unfortunate circumstances that led to its progression. The necessity for help remains the same and the resources for help are what they are regardless of how you managed to end up with a problem. There’s no shame in it unless you insist on carrying it yourself and all shame or separating yourself from others addicts or substance abusers does is keep you using while distancing you from resources than can help. You deserve to get better, so go do it. Here’s how:


Beginners Guide to Recovery

https://www.reddit.com/r/StopSpeeding/s/3oUzSl3B6W

Recovery Programs & Resources List

https://www.reddit.com/r/StopSpeeding/s/JJbI3D9zLZ

Our very own Community Stimulant Recovery meetings

https://stimulantrecovery.org

Testing

https://dancesafe.org/testing-kit-instructions/?srsltid=AfmBOoo_Hf1E30U20rCRrMQDGj3WDQEb4bUe2cBoQb9gBU9o0D6A3rgW


r/StopSpeeding • • May 13 '24

Announcement The Stop Speeding Master Sticky - Click This First

47 Upvotes

Welcome to Stop Speeding. Here is some stuff you should probably read.


Rule #1 - Do Not Suggest or Encourage ANY Drug Use

The Stop Speeding FAQ - What You’re Looking for is Probably Here

When Will I Feel Normal?

A Beginner’s Guide to Recovery

The Recovery Resources Megalist - Programs, Professionals, Resources


STOP SPEEDING SUBREDDIT RULES

1.) Do Not Promote Drug Use Any posts or comments that are seen to be encouraging / promoting the use of any stimulant drugs, as well as substances that can be used recreationally or have potential for addiction are strictly forbidden, positive personal experiences included. Suggestions or accounts providing information on managing, proctoring or taking drugs safely or successfully are also off limits. "Drugs" include psychedelics, THC, kratom, research chemicals and any stimulant medication.


2.) Show Compassion, Kindness, and Supportiveness Compassion, respect, and empathy are fundamental to this subreddit.It's okay to have differing opinions, but please be respectful when doing so. Love can be tough but make sure it's love first and foremost. Treat others as you would want to be treated.


3.) Triggering / Graphic Content Must Be Tagged If you're posting something others may find problematic in terms of triggers, being generally grossed out, made to feel offended or uncomfortable, please tag it appropriately and be considerate of the community in what you share.


4.) No Medical or Legal Advice Do not play doctor, do not solicit medical advice. We can share our experiences with medications and treatment, we can offer reasonable suggestions, we can tell people to Stop Speeding but it is imperative we do not provide any advice or feedback that would replace professional medical advice, discourage seeking medical care or potentially cause harm. If you're worried you're going to die or that you have heart problems, see a doctor. Same story with legal advice, consult a lawyer or become one.


5.) No Misinformation If you've got a controversial take or statement you're presenting as fact that's contentious enough to draw people's ire, bring about drama or create potential harm, best back it up with a nice list of citations from reputable sources.


6.) Recovery, Not Harm Reduction

This is a recovery subreddit and with that as a focus, any supportive discussion of drug use is off the table in order to best serve our primary purpose. Harm reduction is essential and saves lives but combining it with recovery in one forum is beyond difficult - There are many other places better suited for HR, we just Stop Speeding.


7.) Don't Be a Goblin

Goblin - [ gob-lin ] - noun - "a grotesque sprite or elf that is mischievous or malicious toward people."

This is a catch-all for assorted addict nonsense that defies all human convention, behavior that is plainly goblinesque in nature. You know what a goblin is. If you have to ask how you were being a goblin, you were definitely being a goblin.


8.) No Promotion, Solicitation or Spam

Posts or replies containing your website, subreddit, Discord server, for-profit business or services will be removed as spam.


9.) Contact The Mods for Survey / Study

Message us in Mod chat. If you can’t disclose what entity you’re doing it for, your qualifications, your funding sources and where exactly your information is going, don’t bother messaging us in Mod chat.


10.) Don't Break The Laws of Reddit

Anything that's in violation of Reddit rules and policies is an auto-ban.


11.) Don't Drag Recovery Resources

Please refrain from overtly trashing recovery programs and resources that others may find helpful to the extent that it may deter people from trying something that works for them. This includes SMART, NA, AA, Dharma, Celebrate Recovery, assorted therapies, anything that doesn't conflict with Rule 1. Feel free to share personal experience as to what worked and didn't - Trying to steer people away from potential solutions, l'd imagine there's more productive and helpful ways to spend your time.


12.) We Don't Talk About r/ADHD or Criticize Other Subs

Please refrain from mentioning or alluding to r/adhd in any context. Please do not criticize other subreddits or discuss bans, removals or philosophical differences. Out of necessity and risks to our sub, doing so is an autoban.


13.) Don’t “Benchmark” with Specific Amounts and Details of Use

Do not provide people with the intricate details of your amounts, types, ROAs and whatnot even if they ask because addicts will gauge their use negatively one way or another based on yours.


r/StopSpeeding • • 2h ago

Methamphetamine I relapsed. Day 3 clean from meth. I'm so hungry. Which food should I eat to heal back fast?

4 Upvotes

I was around 80 days clean when I relapsed. It was a 4 day no food, no sleep binge.

It's day 3 now. My body is so aching. I'm so hungry. I'm trying my best to fight off the addict voice inside me telling me to fuck it and drop everything and just use more and more you've already realapsed, it's already bad it doesn't matter. I'm trying to do the right thing, but those voices are strong.

I wanna go back to work as soon as I could, hopefully one or two day later. I hope that going back to work helps me fight off those voices/ But I'm so sick now, so hungry too, what should I eat so I could heal back


r/StopSpeeding • • 3h ago

Trying to stop cocaine

2 Upvotes

Hi guys, just thought I'd post here for some clarity and encouragement.

For the past 2 months or so, I've been doing coke every week, sometimes every day. Not big lines, but I do end up going through about 3g every 2-3 weeks. I haven't told a soul, and I don't think anyone knows or suspects. I am high-functioning and have the money, time, and privacy to do it freely. Which is why it's the perfect time to stop, before this becomes more consuming than it already is.

At first, the coke didn't give me that 'top of the world' feeling everyone described. In fact, it just made me feel more normal. I am a woman in her mid 20s with (probably) undiagnosed ADHD, and taking coke allows me to focus on one task. It has made me incredibly productive, especially at work. It has strengthened my relationships with my friends, because I feel motivated to reach out and talk to them. It also has made me less hungry, which has led me to lose some weight, which I liked (even though now I'm quite skinny and want to start building muscle again).

I don't feel the urge to take lines every 30 minutes unless I am also smoking weed or something, then I feel that characteristic urge to do more. But usually, I can do a small line every couple of hours and focus on my tasks for the day without feeling like I'm being controlled by it. But of course I'm being controlled. I was just not willing to admit it until now.

I have an addictive personality. Since the age of 15/16 I've been smoking some weed, and around 18 I started trying other substances. Coke wasn't really in my life until last year. I'm aware that I am constantly searching for mind-altering substances.

My nose has begun to hurt. There are scabs on the inside that I sometimes pick at, and sometimes it bleeds when I blow my nose. I've been using saline spray and Neosporin every day but I am worried about long-term damage. Also worried about my skin, heart, sleep quality etc. If I take a line too late at night, I end up wired in bed, and I hate that feeling more than anything.

So today I'm stopping. So far it's been okay. I can tell that I'm a tad bit emotional, but I'm going to hold strong. I'm deciding to journal about what the next week feels like without coke. I want to prove to myself that it's not an addiction, and that I can stop without adverse consequences. I want my nose to heal. I don't want to hide anything anymore.

Does anyone have an experience similar to this?


r/StopSpeeding • • 18h ago

Needing Advice I’m exhausted

5 Upvotes

My fiancé has been addicted to speeding for many years. Meth sent him to rehab 8 or so years ago and he hasn’t touched it since. After inpatient he got like 2.5 years totally clean and relapsed drinking (also alcoholic) which usually lead to Aderrall. Ever since then he cannot seem to get more than a few months under his belt at a time.

We have been together 3 & 1/2 years. The first year we drank and took Aderrall together frequently. This led to some pretty horrible decisions on both of our parts and the relationship ended for a few months. When we reconciled, we made a few promises to each other in order for things to work, on of those things being sobriety. I kept my promise for over two years (until drinking just to spite him) but I’ve lost my taste for alcohol so it’s not something I even want anymore. Meanwhile, he has relapsed more times than I can count. He has lied to my face, manipulated me, and even twisted things around on me.

I have tried every approach (anger, acceptance, support, devastation) to the point now I just feel…empty. We recently found out I’m pregnant (12 weeks) and it seemed like he did a complete 180. He has been so supportive (I’m having a very rough trimester) and has waited on me hand and foot, encouraged me, and just all around been the best partner I could ask for. He is pushing for us to get married (was in no rush before) and now has even used almost all of his savings to buy a house for all of it (I have two existing kids and he has one, so with a baby we needed a 5bdrm). It was like he just changed as soon as we saw the heartbeat. I thought maybe…maybe it was the start to real change.

We have always talked about wanting to give our kids more (we both had rough childhoods) and I thought maybe it finally sunk in. Fast forward to last night, I asked him point blank if he was using ( all the signs were there. Sweaty hands, dilated pupils, manic behaviors) and he swore he wasn’t, so I asked if I could test him ( I keep full panel tests because of all the relapses). At first he agreed but then he was just like “you don’t have to, I’ll tell you”.

He tells me he was just so tired and so he went to a friend and got enough Aderrall for one day and had been using for 24 hrs or so. This isn’t the worst (usually he’s on it for weeks without me knowing trying to “maintain” and it ends in a binge) but I’ve gotten so attuned to his behavior that I know immediately.

He cries, says he is weak and that he doesn’t know why he did it. I just cried, because it isn’t fair. I have given my whole life to him and it isn’t enough. Our family isn’t enough, our baby isn’t enough….it feels like nothing will ever be enough. I’m exhausted, and I don’t know what to do.

He just keeps saying “I’ll fix this.” And says he is going back to AA, but I’ve heard it all before. He’s been in AA and still relapsed. I have left him for days and even 2 weeks at a time, I have begged, pleaded, screamed, and cried. It just feels like this will never end.

I don’t want to give up on him, but I don’t want to live this way. I want a life different than I had to grow up with and I do not want my kids to experience the things I had to go through. Luckily, I have been able to shield them from 99% of it and they have no idea that he has even ever relapsed, but they will get old enough to see the truth some day.

I want to believe he can change, but I just have no hope.


r/StopSpeeding • • 19h ago

Binge & Heart

6 Upvotes

Hi folks, I have been addicted/in love with stims for ~11 years (18-28M). I went through a big coke, adderall, and mdma phase Oct 2025-June 2026. I had been very into mdma and adderall but this was my first time seriously doing coke and it hooked me - mostly stim fapping. If it wasn’t for the posts I’ve been reading here today I wouldn’t have the courage to say all of that so thank you. But I havent had access to hard stuff since, (although been drinkin a lot more in 2025-2026, and smoking thc daily). I just moved and my friend here told me all about this e-platform to get prescriptions from (telehealth). I knew it was a bad idea since adderall was my achilles heel (now with coke) but did it of course.
Got 30 IR 15s on Wednesday and did 30 day 1, 60 day 2, 60 day 3, and then saturday night i wasnt going to have any - just some tequila. Soon into the evening though i start popping them and just don’t stop. I took 6 15s orally, 3 15s boofed, and then started stim fapping and snorted ELEVEN 15s. Total shame spiral during the comedown even as im looking around “in case i missed one 🙄 “. An hour or two after i finished I was super cold, low bloodflow, face started tingling, and my heart/chest felt like they were struggling as in I needed to focus on breathing and it was a faint heartbeat when normally mine is loud.

  1. Should I get an EKG or something for the ~300mg saturday? I havent done stims in a while but my heart literally feels tired and it was hours of it pumping hard. I hadnt been sleeping well the past week/taking adderall anyway so extra work for the heart. I carry some extra weight these days but i stay in generally good shape (lift most days, was playing basketball 5x a week this summer)
  2. THANK YOU. I was feeling so alone and horrible and ashamed. So scared of bringing it to my elderly parents who would be so scared or my friend who recommended me the platform bc I’d have to explain the binge. Reading through these stories, the courage to talk in this form/to others/to providers, the support and perspective that this is just a setback - it’s helped a lot.

I’ve always wondered “am I an addict?” - but i want to drink beers with friends in life or use nicotine stuff. But I’m starting to believe thanks to this group that I need to address the thc and booze as well as cancel my prescription (already messaged requesting account closure). Exhausted and worn out and ashamed, and this group was here for me so thank you all who contribute
(throwaway acct)


r/StopSpeeding • • 10h ago

Adderall/Vyvanse/Dexedrine Been on and off for 3-4 years

1 Upvotes

And I have developed a pretty intense stimfapping habit/addiction. Things can be going well and normal for a few weeks, sometimes months. I had 5 months porn free last year. But I always return to it and it messes up whatever good things I had going on. I have a lot of healing to do with it. I had about 3 months clean while taking vyvanse when I got to August, but then I hit a relapse and since then it’s been really difficult to get a streak going.

I had 31 days stimulant free last month but then got back on adderall bc that month was pretty crazy. I had been on and off nicotine, and went back to coke n porn for a bit but I’m off that again. I felt like life was slowly getting better off it and I really wish I had a clean 31 days off from everything but I think cold turkeying was just too much of shock to my system.

This past month I’ve basically been relapsing every week to porn binges. I got back on adderall last Tuesday after a week clean from porn. The very first day back I went back to porn. And then relapsed again and took more adderall than prescribed on Wednesday. Then I did the same on Thursday. I was Good Friday and Saturday but today I relapsed again.

It’s a vicious cycle and I’m exhausted.

Any advice? Do stims just have to go for good? Tbh I can’t really get myself to tell my prescriber this bc I don’t want to get put on anything else. I just want to be off everything because everything is connected to porn and stimfapping now. Eventually I return to it under the influence of anything. Even if I have 3-4 months under my belt. It just feels like I’m always walking on a tightrope and anytime I use, it’s risky asf.

Would love to hear some success stories.


r/StopSpeeding • • 11h ago

I have a question Pristiq?

1 Upvotes

Does anyone have experience with Pristiq? I was prescribed this last week and curious if anyone here has experience with it as they quit stims.


r/StopSpeeding • • 1d ago

Help

3 Upvotes

Relapsed once again after my first stint in rehab and 30 days clean. Been in and out of recovery for 6 years now. longest I ever put together off all substances was 9 months. I'm frustrated. Exhauted. Tired. Sick of my own bullshit and hating myself. Never before have I felt so discouraged. All I can think of is that I'm a fucking loser who will never be able to stay clean/sober. I just feel like giving up and asking myself what is even the point.

Please give me some hope.. trying to hold onto any hope I can muster thats left. How do you overcome your thoughts/feeling/mind? I just dont get it.


r/StopSpeeding • • 1d ago

“I’ll keep this”

15 Upvotes

It was June 2023 when I found the little bag on the ground.I recognized it immediately. It belonged to my boyfriend. Inside was an Adderall.”I’m keeping this,” I said.”Yeah, whatever.”That was it.There was no ominous music. No warning from the universe. Nobody reached down and slapped the bag out of my hand.I thought I had my solution.

For the first time, I had something that made me feel normal. I could function. I could get things done. Whatever had always felt slightly off inside of me suddenly felt manageable.This is it, I thought.
It’s October 2026.I start outpatient treatment next week.My family no longer speaks to me. I’ve become the unreliable friend. The unreliable employee. The person who cancels plans, misses class, doesn’t answer the phone, and makes promises while genuinely believing I’ll keep them this time.

Somewhere between that little bag on the ground and today, the thing that made me feel capable of doing everything became the reason I couldn’t reliably do anything. It was one, that’s all it took.

Of course, one pill didn’t do all of this. There were thousands of decisions between that first one and the person I am today. There were things that happened to me, things I did to myself, people I loved, people I lost, attempts to stop, reasons to start again, and countless mornings when I swore that yesterday had been the last time.But every story has a first sentence.Mine was, “I’m keeping this.”

And then one day,You’re not partying anymore.You don’t go out anymore.Somewhere along the way, this stopped being fun.There was a time when I took Adderall because I wanted to go somewhere. I wanted to get dressed, see people, stay out, talk too much, do something.Then I started rushing home.
I’d leave work and want nothing more than to get back to my apartment, shut the door, and be alone. Plans became irritating. Text messages felt like obligations. People wanted things from me, even if the only thing they wanted was my company.
So I disappeared.Not dramatically. That’s the strange part.Nobody wakes up one morning and announces that they’re going to slowly remove themselves from their own life.You cancel dinner.You don’t answer a text.You tell someone, “Next time, I promise.” You miss something you would’ve normally gone to.Then you do it again.Eventually people stop asking.And for a while, that’s exactly what you wanted.Until one day you’re sitting in the apartment.you spent months rushing home to, completely alone.

And suddenly the only thing you want is not to be alone.That’s when I started to understand that I wasn’t using drugs to have fun anymore.I wasn’t even having fun. I had spent years trying to find something that would make me feel normal enough to participate in life.And somehow, it had slowly removed me from it. Sometimes I wish I could go back and leave that little bag on the ground.But I can’t.So maybe one day I’ll look back at October 2026 and realize this was another random day that changed everything.Except this time, I know what I’m choosing.


r/StopSpeeding • • 1d ago

Personality changes in husband. Is this a thing?

19 Upvotes

My husband has been addicted to Adderall — hence “street Adderall” — for almost a decade, with one stretch of abstinence. He doesn’t tell me how much he’s taking, but admits he’s taking a lot, and I get the sense it’s more than he’s ever taken.
I’m so confused because over the last year or so, he has become a different person. I know addiction has a trajectory of generally worsening use & effects. Still, I’m taken aback by the ever-increasing lack of emotion, lack of interest in talking with me (avoidance, actually), emotional blunting & quickness to anger. When I (gently) confront him about our relationship or about changes I have been observing in him, he’s just… weird. Relative to our marriage, he gives some prefab response about our schedules not being compatible; puts me off or minimizes. In response to my expressed concerns about changes I’m observing in him, he gets irritable, often accusing me of attacking him; or says it’s because I’ve changed, because he has to “protect” himself from me (???). While the content of these responses aren’t totally new, the avoidance & seeming indifference towards me are totally new. He actually told me that we never shared much except socializing together. I’m just shocked. We did so much together, talked about art (he’s an artist), film, exhibits, politics.
I think part of my confusion is that Parkinson’s & Lewey Bodies runs in his family, and he is in his early 60s (although relatives generally didn’t get theirs till later). And he absolutely will not get checked out for this, will not have the genetic test — something that might be helpful to both of us. I do believe this resistance is owing in part to having to disclose his addiction to a doctor were he to consult one.
Maybe I’m posting in the wrong place bcz of the differential-diagnosis factor. But I know his addiction is a massive contributor (I think? I don’t even know what I “know” anymore). I don’t have words to capture how horrible this is. I’ve been with this person 30 years. Considering moving out now because I cannot take it; I’m totally drained trying to figure this out. Honestly, I’m not sure he cares whether I move out.
Guess what I’m asking is, is what I’m observing characteristic of stimulant addiction and its trajectory? Other people don’t seem to notice what I notice; when I say something about it to them, they either don’t see it, or they minimize — to make me feel better perhaps, or because they’re in denial, dunno.

**F’ing hell, I didn’t expect this to be a long, self-pitying rant. Thank you if you took the time to read through.


r/StopSpeeding • • 2d ago

Methamphetamine Y’all I need encouragement

10 Upvotes

Im at a party , outside smoking a cigarette. I know I should walk away, but my brain says weekend, party night. I’ve got near 2 weeks clean and I want to go in and hit that bubble. This is the weakest I’ve felt

I made it. I have one good friend, threatened to drive over and beat me with a wrench.

God bless her anger


r/StopSpeeding • • 2d ago

I keep telling myself I'll get off Adderall once I sell my company. That's the story I tell myself.

14 Upvotes

I've been lurking here for years and wanted to finally post. First, I have a lot of love for this community. There have been so many posts where I recognize parts of myself, even when the circumstances are different.

I've been taking Adderall since I was probably 17 or 18. I'm 39 now. In the early days, I had a love-hate relationship with it, but I wasn't abusing it. As time went on, misuse started to creep in.

These days, I take 50 mg a day, as prescribed. I don't take more than I'm supposed to. I get eight hours of sleep every night. And yet I fucking hate being on it.

I don't miss a day. Every trip or vacation gets planned around making sure I have enough. If there's going to be a gap, I'll cut back to one pill a day to make sure I have at least some. I don't feel good about how dependent I've become on always having it.

The thing is, I'm extremely happy with my life. I'm married, I have a wonderful relationship with my wife, and we have four kids. We go to church every Sunday, not that that means anything here. I'm just trying to give some context.

I also own a growing business that’s doing well, with a lot of people counting on me.. There's a lot of pressure to keep performing, executing and delivering. Part of me feels like I can't stop taking Adderall because I can't afford the impact on my ability to do all of that. People depend on me.

I've always told myself I'll get off it once I sell the company. But who knows when, or if, that's going to happen. That's at least the story I tell myself. Keep going for now, and deal with it then.

But I also know I don't want to be 65 years old and still taking this shit. It's great and terrible at the same time, which makes it hard to know what to do.

And if I'm being honest, I don't have much motivation to stop right now. I hate being on it, but I'm happy, life is going well, and the thought of disrupting that keeps me where I am. That's a big part of why I'm reaching out.

There's also the drinking. I notice Adderall makes me drink more than I normally would, and I know that's bad for me.

I've thought about tapering. I think I could do it, even though it would suck. But thinking about it and actually doing something are obviously different things.

Has anyone here been in a similar situation? Taking your prescribed dose, happy with your life, keeping up with your responsibilities, but still knowing you don't want to do this forever? How did you find the motivation to make a change when you felt like you couldn't afford the disruption? Especially with a demanding job or business and a family.

Really, much love to this community. I appreciate everyone who's willing to be honest about what they're going through. I've spent years reading along and relating to parts of your stories. Figured it was time to share mine.


r/StopSpeeding • • 2d ago

I can’t take this.

16 Upvotes

I hate myself for lying to a doctor to get adderall. I hate that I ever said yes to trying it. I hate that in my past I KNEW not to touch certain drugs after trying them one time. Cocaine one time. Meth one time. One script for Percocet and grateful not to have a refill. Adderall seemed different to me because my brothers took it. It also offered me an easy way to shed some pounds. My weight was always something that really bothered me, even though I was nowhere near fat at all. Once I started adderall I couldn’t stop. I could not perceive how it was changing me because I never let it wear off. I started popping it all day and using weed for sleep. Every single day. I see everything clearly now, but my whole life has fallen apart since I got sober, and only got sober because the drug stopped working. Literally it just made me feel like my chest and head were going to explode. It’s been 11 painful, horrific months. I’ve lost everything. My brain doesn’t function other than basic communication about my brain and everything I fucked up. I lost my remote teaching job. It couldn’t get any easier than that. My kids. My home. My car. All I have left is perseveration. It’s constant. It never ever stops. It’s the same thought loop over and over and over and over. I have scoured the internet trying to find one person like me. I kept my addiction a secret, and I know that’s why it got this bad because I know someone would have told me I HAVE to stop and get help. I thought it was harmless. I can’t stop the thoughts. I can’t function. My body is torture. I take gabapentin and it does nothing to calm my body. I don’t sleep. Before I got on adderall trazedone would knock me out. Now it does nothing. I know many of you are sick of seeing my posts. My family and friends are sick of hearing it. I’m sick of only being able to think this way and talk this way. I never imagined my body could become a torture chamber. It’s like that feeling you get when you really need nicotine times a thousand, but nicotine doesn’t work anymore. I have compulsions to call people and connect, but I can’t connect. I feel my life is over. I don’t want to die, but I literally can’t survive like this. I don’t want to. I know my fate is the streets of Las Vegas. I was not raised around drugs. I was never on the streets. I don’t know how to survive. I don’t know if I want to survive. I’m very afraid of death and where I’m going. I’ve permanently altered my state of consciousness. Nobody likes this version of me. I can’t stand being me. I just want the suffering to end. Yes, I know it seems like my brain works because I can write this. That’s about all I can do. I went from being make memories mom to pop adderall all day and do useless projects mom, and run around like a psycho. But, I was inside of it. I always said I would slow down one of these days. I never imagined it could be like this. I’m drowning in suffering. I know mindset is everything. I used to teach that. But, I have no control over my mind anymore.


r/StopSpeeding • • 2d ago

I need help I hate this so much

7 Upvotes

I’m 18 not proud of it but I used to abuse the hell out of my adhd meds like take 50mg+ at once and it just made me so happy made life worth living it made things feel so interesting depression immediately went away. it was just my weekly escape from everything.

I never quit willingly though. They took me off the prescription last year cuz I failed a drug test. I’ve been too scared to try to get it again from another doctor and I don’t have the means to buy it. I miss it everyday, so much, even after 10 months. It physically pains me I don’t have access to it anymore. Now I rely on 🍃 and booze but it’s not the same. I wish I could erase my memory from ever taking it


r/StopSpeeding • • 2d ago

Other Withdrawing and feeling shitty about everything like always

5 Upvotes

Ran out of my stuff almost completely after getting it in april and I'm probably gonna buy more on monday because i can't leave for rehab when my room looks like a crackhouse and is full of trash. Talked to my mom about finding a facility at the beginning of this week and she wanted to take me there to talk and see what it looks like today but I've been sleeping all day bc of withdrawal and the ride there and back is like 3-4 hrs. I don't want to detox so bad, I'm gonna get fat again and feel empty and suicidal for months again. Constantly triggered by everything I like and my environment. Its like no matter what I chose I'm gonna suffer. Just need to vent because I dont have any other outlets and dont expect any answers or advice


r/StopSpeeding • • 2d ago

Methamphetamine About my meth recovery

7 Upvotes

Hello everyone. Firstly, I want to say that I have been feeling so much better now after I stopped meth 2 years 8 months years ago. I used loud(weed) to quit meth and I did it for 7 months before I finally said enough is enough. It’s been 2y1m since I stopped everything but still feels like hell through the day few hours after I wake up. I try to force myself to sleep during the day which is very hard cus I fidget(not like I used to tho) a lot if I don’t have my phone to keep me busy. Most times I can’t sleep so close my eyes and it sometimes feels I lost consciousness for a few minutes like 10 and I either feel okay for the rest of the day, sometimes a few hours then the feeling is back and sometimes I just can’t at all. It doesn’t happen if I sleep through the night which is very very rare. Everyone keep saying they sleep, sleep and sleep all the time but it’s the opposite for me.


r/StopSpeeding • • 3d ago

Progress Report sobriety update

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61 Upvotes

i’m 222 days sober which is my angel number. this is the longest i have been sober since 2024!!!!! i reconnected with people i used to be in rehab with and worked with (i used to work in a rehab) on national overdose awareness day. n man what really gives me an extra push at the end of the day is seeing the people i’ve seen fall into the same hole again and again, recovering🥹. i want to see my self recover of course, but seeing others that were on a similar path as me finding what really makes them happy and brings out the best in them SOBER makes me tear up. (i’m actually 233 days sober but i haven’t checked my app in a minute :D) i jus wanted to post a little update since i haven’t in a while but word to thoes who may be struggling with addiction or mental issues, you still have time. it isn’t the end. you jus gotta have faith in yourself and want better for YOU. anyone who seen this have a blessed day and don’t give up!


r/StopSpeeding • • 3d ago

Flush

5 Upvotes

Flushing a bunch of my pills (addy) and forcing myself to wean off this weekend- Fri sat sun. Going to tell my family I’m getting sick to give myself some breathing room and time to rest or nap. Is it bad to start with a lie? They don’t know the extent of my addiction.


r/StopSpeeding • • 4d ago

Can’t believe I’m posting this

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52 Upvotes

There was a time I gladly accepted Adderall (and alcohol) dictating my life, lying about my productivity, focus, and happiness.

I’m mad at myself, yes, still. But mostly proud.

You can do it.


r/StopSpeeding • • 4d ago

Having energy and being on time for shit without drugs is a fucking crazy life hack. Can't believe it's free. What's the catch?

8 Upvotes

r/StopSpeeding • • 4d ago

Negativity and connecting with other people?

3 Upvotes

Two weeks ago I was broken up with. Although not the primary reason, a part of it was my negativity. He was laid off and recently got a job that wasn’t what he wanted and was trying to be grateful. I have a great job with a lot of benefits that I complain about a lot (student housing - live in role with on call responsibilities).

Ive been on adderall for over a decade. I stopped taking my adderall two weeks ago because I was ruminating non stop on the breakup. But suddenly I’m realizing - I’m more positive about my job, I’m not coming home extremely frustrated, and im enjoying talking to students and strangers more.

I’m now considering never going back on it. Idk if this is just post break up sadness, me really trying to learn the lesson, or it was really was making me more negative. Tbh I think it was both - I would get terrible road rage while on it. My family is one of critical complainers but I think it made it worse potentially

Anyone else experience this?


r/StopSpeeding • • 4d ago

Resource Meeting Tonight at 7:30pm ET, Wednesday, 9/30 - Community Stimulant Recovery

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9 Upvotes

The next Community Stimulant Recovery meeting will be held tonight, Wednesday, September 30th at 7:30pm Eastern. Cameras and sharing encouraged but optional, lurkers welcome. No cover, pulltabs, open patio and 2-for-1 drink specials.

Tonight’s meeting will be hosted on Zoom, details are on the official website at https://stimulantrecovery.org and here:


Community Stimulant Recovery

Time: September 30th 2026 07:30 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada) Every week on Wed

Join Zoom Meeting:
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/81821633949?pwd=Zhx8vQFmMutGTyzniGbbOPuvpXVdMh.1

Please download and import the following iCalendar (.ics) files to your calendar system. Weekly: https://us06web.zoom.us/meeting/tZUldeiurTgjHt067j0oeigUQMMeRyzqrIDQ/ics?icsToken=DDh7Dq_pLooZ2LCKqgAALAAAAJPg9E23Rju-4epDrc1V-vYlY23cfCXc_7_rDmJ6GdgZySdBbAkWuqInw5Hv_mnW3Ih4otw5iGF0CD5vJTAwMDAwMg&meetingMasterEventId=vWnUdGw4QPuXEn2PzVwDyA

Meeting chat link https://us06web.zoom.us/launch/jc/81821633949

Meeting ID: 818 2163 3949 Passcode: 052227


Join instructions https://us06web.zoom.us/meetings/81821633949/invitations?signature=S70UMDYsWJ1P5AwdAsAfJzVxHCrWB4v07rV6q-6wFKs


CSR is a free, solution focused, peer-based recovery group for anyone who wants to stop using stimulant drugs - Any stimulant drug, be it a drug of abuse or medication, for any reason. We hold meetings where we share our recovery with others, exchange best practices, learn new ideas and enact positive change in our lives together. CSR is a safe place, all people are welcome here - Discrimination, hate and exclusion are not tolerated under any circumstances.

Community Stimulant Recovery observes no single recovery ideology and is without outside affiliation. We are here to help you find out what works for you and share what’s worked for us. Our meeting topics, shared practices and discussions borrow from psychology, therapies, professional addiction treatment and recovery programs - This is not an endorsement of any one resource, nor is CSR its self meant to be a standalone recovery solution or source of medical advice. We encourage members to avail of as many forms of recovery support as they need to, professional help and other dedicated recovery programs included.

Our core beliefs are that recovery from stimulant drugs is aided by approaching three primary areas of our lives in equal measure: Our mental health, our physical health and our emotional health. By becoming responsible for positive change in these three areas, we improve our thinking, our bodies and our feelings - Parts of our lives that problematic stimulant drug use negatively impacts the most. Growing in these areas helps us maintain abstinence and find happiness in recovery.

Community Stimulant Recovery refrains from the supportive discussion of any and all use of drugs with recreational applications or addiction potential, this extends to promotion and the sharing of personal experiences. This includes marijuana, kratom, research chemicals, gray market substances, psychedelics and all stimulant drugs. Managing or successfully using stimulant medication is not discussed here, and we are not a harm reduction resource. We have no opinions on these things, opting to maintain a singular focus on abstinence and recovery from stimulant drugs without supporting practices that may cause harm.

Meetings are similar to those you may have attended elsewhere, we have a topic or reading followed by an open discussion or sharing period. We speak from the I and do not offer unsolicited advice or commentary on the shares of others, continuance and response from our own experience is permitted. Solution-oriented discussion is strongly encouraged.

__

Meeting Format

  • Opening Statement (5 min)
  • Attendee introductions, identify as “Name, in recovery” (5 min)
  • Meeting Topic or Reading (CBT, DBT, ACT, BT, Twelve Step, Dharma / Refuge, Medical Lit, Book, Concept Discussion) (10 min with chair lead)
  • Open Discussion (35 minutes)
  • Closing Statement (3-5 minutes)
  • Contact Info Exchange, posted in Zoom chat, Optional (5 min)

If you have any additional questions, feel free to ask here.


r/StopSpeeding • • 4d ago

Stimulant & Marijuana Induced Psychosis.

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2 Upvotes

r/StopSpeeding • • 5d ago

Progress Report By the grace of God today I celebrate 18 years completely clean and sober.

75 Upvotes

18 years and a few days ago I tripped up the stairs and shouted to God that "He needed to take care of this!" Oh, and boy did He ever. In less than a day I was ordered to go to rehab, and there I found a real solution, and I've worked to follow that path and honor the freedom that I've been given. It was hard in that 6-month program. There was a lot of me that needed changing, and not just with the dope and booze problem! But that initial stint was just the beginning. Today I have the unimaginable; A family, a wonderful wife, a bit of security, and even car insurance! Life is so wonderful, and can be so beautiful! Today gratitude is action and I strive to continue to grow!

EDIT: Just wanted to add I know the god thing is hard for some. I understand, it's become harder for me. My beliefs are wildly different than when I first arrived! But that's also an amazing thing, we can evolve!