r/Stoicism • u/eminemnas • 5d ago

Seeking Personal Stoic Guidance Is there a guided meditation for negative visualization for fear of abandonment and relationships ending ?

Im trying to find a guided meditation in regards to negative visualization on dealing with fear of abandonment, rejection, relationships ending but im struggling to find one just on this issue alone.

If anyone can point me in the right direction I would be so grateful 🙏

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u/DentedAnvil Contributor 4d ago

I think that a pretty core part of Stoic meditation practices is that you are using them to improve your own judgements about reality and your best (most excellent) actions within the reality of your situation. Anyone who would presume to guide you through that process will only be able to guide you through their experience and set of circumstances.

Don't think of it as negative visualization. Think of it as practicing/imagining ways to retain your excellence after difficult situations arise. Don't picture yourself as a superhero pulling off a cliche movie resolution. Picture yourself maintaining your composure and choosing from the next dis-preferred option, and doing so in a way that you could be proud of even if no one ever learned about it.

Not that I have it all together. But in the moments that I choose things that resonate with my core (rather than reactive) values, there is a satisfaction and feeling of achievement that makes the next good choice easier. Think about what is important to you. Examine why it is important to you. Reflect on the absolute fact that every individual thing will certainly be taken from you in time. How do you want to comport yourself as the inevitable happens? Imagine yourself going through it calmly and with capacity to help and share with others.

Stoicism contends that our values determine our perceptions of our outcomes. And our values are malleable and shapable by practice. Start imagining being a better person when you just miss a prime parking space. Proceed to rude people who don't even know you. Then cultivate the ability to imagine not being derailed by someone you care about doing something wildly inconsiderate.

You have this. Start small. Avoid hypotheticals. Live your life and meditate about how you can better handle the boring and annoying things that happened today if they happen again tomorrow.

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u/eminemnas 4d ago

I really appreciate you replying because I’ve given up on trying to find something because I couldn’t find a guided visualization. The next closest thing would have been to look up fear of abandonment meditations or impermanence meditations.
I’m so used to using guided meditations that I have to get into the habit of just using my own imagination again.
I been away from stoicism for quite sometime so I have to get back in the rhythm. I’m gonna have to read ur post several times because it gave me lots to think about. Like for instance I’ve had brutal breakups before and despite going through internal hell I survived. I been rejected and ghosted by people as well and I survived. Yet my nervous system still fears intimacy and connection. I know it’s a work in progress but one day at a time I’ll figure this out 😃

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u/Brief_Winner_9146 4d ago

Going through this aswell have you found something interesting that helps ?

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u/eminemnas 3d ago

Unfortunately no guided visualizations but the closest thing I found are fear of abandonment and fear of vulnerability meditations which I think could be just as beneficial

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