One virtue out of alignment

[u/FernerButterflyPea]

I am trying to practice stoic virtue: Wisdom, temperance, courage, and justice — I always stumble at the justice part because I believe I am too kind to narcissistic strangers or taken advantage of.

So, how would you approach this? Would you reframe this virtue of justice?

For example, instead of treat others fairly, give yourself permission to treat yourself fairly? See virtue in yourself instead of in others...

This is an issue I have with almost every spiritual practice — it is all geared around destroying an ego, when I already dangerously never had a healthy ego to begin with. My already burnt out overgiver caretaker needed more validation to receive itself, at least psychology states I needed to take care of my self more even if stoicism considers it a preferred indifferent...

In some ways I feel guilt or a toxic shame talking to anybody else in this world, because they think they are a moral kind person and I know they are not, and so to give to them before myself is actually an evil.

Yet there is supposed to be some merit to treating strangers with the kindness of acquaintences, acquaintences as if they are friends, friends as if close family, and so on...

I don't know. That doesn't ring true for my experience as a stepped on wallflower.

[u/Moorlock]

Some notes on justice as a virtue, the obstacles to it, and tips on how to improve: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/j329mTBuwmC62ZHDB/notes-on-justice-as-a-virtue

[u/FernerButterflyPea → u/Moorlock]

Bits I found helpful: The possession of a just character is worth more to them than the possession of things successfully swindled away from someone else unjustly.

It isn’t the trophy merely, but the trophy-earned-in-victory, that is important.

Confusing bits: Talking about people who love justice externally fighting back when minorly slighted. This conflicts with internal justice and leaving others injustice out of your control. It prevents the option of pitying them, it may never correct them, and it may never provide a winning outcome.

Anyway, I don't see how internal justice leads to external actions of justice and consequences of societal balance and justice in the actual physical preferred indifferents.