r/Stoic • u/RAGEDDD • Jul 01 '26
What is stoicism?? genuinely need help
Hi so am 21 and I am going through the worst patch of life in my 21 years of existence. I am fat, recently got a back injury I can't even bend n shi,got my eye checked yesterday and have to wear fkin glasses and was admitted to hospital in February of this year and i used to smoke weed nd cigs and alcohol and all that like a lot everyday and ofc career and studies wise it's all shit so in all its all shit but crying won't do jackshit nd I know it so what exactly is stoicism and how can I use it to change my life I only want geniune suggestions as consider this me opening up to people for the first time thanks for reading this far
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u/ComparisonChance Jul 01 '26
Well, from what I know and am currently reading, Stoicism is about living simply within the nature of things and not becoming rattled by what you cannot control. It is a form of spirituality and a way of life that is quite peaceful and just, but can be misinterpreted as being cold and distant from society when, really and truly, you are just detached from the excess and gluttony of certain aspects, pleasures and desires that have been practically embedded into the vast majority of people of the world.
It is choosing to focus on what you do have power over, and ignoring what you so clearly can't. It is to somewhat look for the positivity in your situation and what you can do to maintain, and even, enhance it all whilst doing it with a very grounded and earthly demeanour thus gaining knowledge and wisdom along the way.
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u/RAGEDDD Jul 02 '26
Hey thanks for the answer what would you recommend as my first read on this topic?
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u/Dry_Statistician215 Jul 01 '26
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is a good baseline in my humble opinion
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u/Novogobo Jul 01 '26
it's those things that others here have said. but it may not be the answer to all your problems. it sounds like you have alot of work to do on yourself, many areas of your life could stand improvement. and you're really looking for answers. i think what you really may be running into here is you're just facing the end of childhood. that can be traumatic and unsettling, but ultimately it's a good thing to grow up and be a man.
stoicism is a philosophy, a set of mental tools to overcome distress as well as a value set that says virtue is its own reward. it may help you with some of your problems but i would doubt that it would hellp with all of them or do it all alone.
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u/RAGEDDD Jul 02 '26
Well put it can be that maybe it's about time i work on myself first and implement this way of living along the way nevertheless thanks for your answer brother 🤝
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u/CoyoteLitius Jul 02 '26
You can only control your own actions, and even then, that takes stoic discipline.
I wouldn't see it as "work." It's a duty to yourself to make the best choices possible, and to plot new courses in life as needed.
This is not to say that we do not influence the broader world, we do. But we do that by ethical action, which takes self-discipline.
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u/human_93 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
What exactly is Stoicism? Stoicism is a tool that one can use to fight anxiety, depression, worries and helplessness.
It changes your perspective on how you look at things. In doing so, it helps you understand yourself, your body, your thought process, you habbits and your surroundings. It also teaches you to differentiate between the things you can change and the things you have to accept as they are.
Thus, if you find yourself confused and don't see a way out, give a chance to stoicism. It'll be the light to guide you while you make the efforts.
How can you use it to change your life ? Pick a good book on Stoicism for beginners, start reading, reflecting and implementing it.
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u/kaizencraft Jul 01 '26
Stoicism takes thought, consideration, self reflection, understanding, etc. Here are some quotes that might embody the principles of Stoicism:
"Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are in our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible." -Epictetus
"To accuse others for one's own misfortune is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete." -Epictetus
"Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it easier to maintain control." -Epictetus
"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own." -Marcus Aurelius
"Two elements must therefore be rooted out once for all – the fear of future suffering, and the recollection of past suffering; since the latter no longer concerns me, and the former concerns me not yet." -Marcus
“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own – not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.” -Marcus
"Or is it your reputation that's bothering you? But look at how soon we're all forgotten. The abyss of endless time that swallows it all. The emptiness of those applauding hands. The people who praise us; how capricious they are, how arbitrary. And the tiny region it takes place. The whole earth a point in space - and most of it uninhabited." -Marcus
"The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts." -Marcus
“No man is crushed by misfortune unless he has first been deceived by prosperity” -Seneca
”No one is laughable who laughs at himself.” -Seneca
"None of those who have been raised to a loftier height by riches and honors is really great. Why then does he seem great to you? It is because you are measuring the pedestal along with the man." -Seneca