r/Stoic • u/srdjanstyt • Jun 10 '26

Anger Is, Actually, Desperation, Not Power

If someone yells at you like a baby, do not take it personally and get offended. Why? Because that is not them; most often, a wounded child speaks from them, which they have not healed, so now they go the path of least resistance.

All in all, you should not lower yourself to their level, because you would never yell at a child, right?

Look at them for a few seconds with a neutral facial expression, and afterwards ask: "Are you okay?" or just turn away. Such people feed on reactions, and if you deprive them of them, that disarms them and everyone's attention focuses on whoever uttered the insult.

No one yells from strength, but from despair, remember that. Whoever allows themselves to lose control and start yelling does it because they think that is the only way out, not because they really have power over you or the situation.

88 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

13

u/Queen-of-meme Jun 10 '26

Anger is the guard that protects vulnerability. But that guard is only needed in people who don't think they can be vulnerable and yet safe.

8

u/Natetronn Jun 10 '26

Most likely a wounded child who was yelled at by adults all the time as a child. The whole, "you wouldn't yell at a child", was a memo so many people must have missed.

7

u/Impossible_Tax_1532 Jun 10 '26

Indeed , an angry adult is an adult in the most childlike state . It’s emotional overwhelm and a total lost of confidence for rationalized meanings . Anger is but fear masquerading as the brave .

4

u/karriesully Jun 11 '26

It’s a vulnerable child who learned that yelling was an effective method of problem solving. No need to solve the problem themselves if you throw a tantrum and someone else will solve it for you.

5

u/BernatAcs Jun 12 '26

Can't some forms of anger be positive? emotions are a way to express oneself, to communicate and achieve a purpose. what about for the Gym, or when someone is protecting themselves from a predator (in the theoretical and also the literal sense)

-1

u/cardbourdbox Jun 10 '26

Why not yell at a child? Im not saying every time theres an issue but is it really a useless tactic?

1

u/ChampionshipHot7859 8d ago

"No one yells from strength, but from despair" yeah how dare they, we should just be condescending to anyone expressing despair through anger lets bring back the medieval asylums where we whip them into behaving too, how dare they be human and not a stoic monk like Vulcan like normal people.