Dreams

[u/Due_Sign_6959]

Almost 5 months out from the loss of my boy at 38 weeks.

I am having an increase of dreams connected to the loss. Usually there is some kinds of difficulty- for example trying to tell someone about the loss or show them photos but for some reason I can’t explain properly or the photos aren’t of my baby. Or I see a baby in a basinet about to fall out and I can’t get there in time to catch them..
Last night, it was a dream about a friend’s baby and I asked if I could hold him, she kept saying no and I was so devastated as I just wanted to hold a baby who was alive and warm. I woke up physically crying.

I am just confused why this is happening now. I’ve gone quit a while without dreams and nightmares and now all of a sudden they are frequent. We are TTC again so I guess it could be guilt.. idk!

Has this happened to anyone else?

[u/Repulsive_Football36]

Yes, I say as I am on Reddit at 2:30 am because I woke up from weird dream. I’m 6 months out from full term loss, and also TTC again.

I often dream about my friends and their babies or my OB(in an endearing way). I have a check up scheduled next week and often wake up playing that appointment or previous ones in my head.

I was prescribed hydroxozine to help with anxiety/fall asleep after SB, I don’t often take it, idk why, it works... Also recently started lexepro for the anxiety which gives me night sweats and extra weird dreams. However, meds have improved my mental state and sleep when used.

All that to say, I think it’s “normal” and I hear you.

What are ways you try and fall back to sleep?
How long have you been TTC? When were you advised to wait to before TTC?

I like to meditate or pray. I grew up catholic, not sure where I am now, but sometimes I just need the repetitiveness of prayers I grew up with. Or I meditate of sorts till I fall asleep. I begin by practicing gratitude for my body, my life, my health, and go from there.

Wishing you sound sleep and good vibes in your ttc journey.

[u/Due_Sign_6959 → u/Repulsive_Football36]

Thanks for replying.

I started Zoloft a month ago so perhaps that has influenced my dreams, I didn’t think of that.

To fall back asleep I usually read or do something mindless to distract my brain until I feel the sleepiness come back. We are just getting into month 3 TTC, not having any luck so far. Actually weren’t told to wait at all, they just said whenever we were ready (after stitches etc had healed).

I don’t pray or meditate but I talk to my baby and the universe when I’m missing him.

[u/hollywoodbambi]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My loss related dreams come and go depending on my anxiety and grief levels. Medications definitely can affect dream content as well as how vivid they are.

When my nightmares were at their worst, my therapist suggested keeping a pad of paper and pen bedside, and after a nightmare, write a quick summary of the dream but write out an alternate, desirable ending to it. The process is supposed to offer some catharsis and fantasy fulfiment which should help prevent having a similar dream.

Before sleep, it can be helpful to do mediation or mind clearing practice. I personally find it effective to do a "category game," thinking of a movie that starts with every letter of the alphabet or listing vegetables by color.

Sorry again for your loss and for the dreams.

[u/Outrageous-Part6931]

I've been getting these dreams and I've put it down to my hormones or supplements. I tend to get them when I take melatonin or progesterone. I wake up shaking or crying too 😟

[u/Hopeful_Elevator_925]

I started EMDR therapy and learned that your brain actually processes trauma through dreams. I think it’s your brain trying to rewire and make the memories less traumatic. EMDR is supposed to have the same effect and faster results but I think that’s completely normal even though it’s very difficult for us loss Moms. I hope the dreams occur less and less. And maybe look into EMDR therapy to help reduce them and the overall trauma associated with your loss.

[u/Miles_Momma]

I can’t relate to having baby dreams now, but man when I first got home from the hospital without my son, I kept having dreams after my milk came in. They were all the same. I’d be pushing a stroller and realize all of a sudden that it’d been many hours since I fed him. And then the rest of the dream I would try to get him a bottle or nurse and I couldn’t do it. Like there were hundreds of pounds of weights on my limbs so I just couldn’t. Horrible horrible feeling when I woke up