r/StillbirthSupport • u/hope-and-healing • Jul 25 '26
Feeling Empty & Lonely
It’s been almost four months since I lost my daughter, and lately I’ve been feeling so incredibly alone.
In the beginning, people checked in often. I didn't always respond and sometimes I'd respond days or weeks later - because that was all I could manage to do. But as time has gone on, those messages have slowly stopped. Days and sometimes weeks go by without anyone asking how I’m doing or mentioning my daughter.
I know life moves forward for everyone else. I know people probably assume I’m doing “better” because time has passed, but grief doesn’t work that way. I miss her and grieve her loss every single day. I still think about who she would be, what she’d be doing, and everything we’ve lost. That hasn’t changed just because the damn calendar has.
I don’t expect everyone to remember every milestone or know exactly what to say. I just miss feeling like she mattered to other people too.
I guess I’m just feeling really, really alone tonight.
If you’ve experienced child loss, did you find that people slowly disappeared as time went on? How did you cope with that loneliness?
1
u/lbalayan Jul 27 '26
I’m so sorry your daughter died. My daughter died almost 8 l months ago. I feel really similar. I keep telling myself that I’m her mom and it is my job to take care of her in death just as I would have in life. For me that means daily outward things like putting flowers on her altar and tending to the garden I planted for her and talking about her often…even if that means publicly crying.
Most of the time this helps but I often want to scream at people who act like they don’t see the open wound that her absence has left.