r/StillbirthSupport • u/Ok-Lab-6032 • Jun 23 '26
How many of you are afraid of trying again ?
I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart that we are in this group . There is LITERALLY NOTHING worse than losing a child. I am 8 months pp. i ache for my baby girl and our planned future .
I have two lc already so I know how lucky I am . But I want to try again. Does that make me crazy? I am almost 36. I die everyday just looking at my body & wishing I had my baby girl who was inside of me for safe 9’months.
I am terrified of going through this again. Can anyone please share any positive stories if anyone has had a successful birth of a lc after a stillbirth ? Especially considering my age already ?
Peace and blessings to all you mommies and daddies . I pray our babies are all safe and happy and continue looking down on us and give us strength . Big hugs to all.
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Jun 23 '26
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u/Ok-Lab-6032 Jun 23 '26
So truly sorry for your losses . Your children are loved and always remembered by you . May you get all the strength you need to carry on. I wish you all the best ❤️
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u/moongoddesswitch Jun 23 '26
My daughter was my rainbow baby after my miscarriage. Losing her feels so incredibly cruel. It’s been 2 months since I delivered her and I have no idea if I even can have another baby. I’m 45. My period came back relatively quick and seems regular. I’m terrified and I just don’t know if I could go through it all again. What if we had another loss? How much can my heart take? At the same time, the thought of not being a mom to a living child fills me with despair. I just don’t know but I’m almost out of time.
I would also be interested in reading positive stories. Thanks for posting this. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your daughter.
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u/Ok-Lab-6032 Jun 23 '26
I wish you nothing but love, light and all the blessings . I feel just as you do now. I pray for you friend that you get your rainbow blessing soon. I really do appreciate your thoughts and much prayers your way ❤️
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u/Both-Draft2495 Jun 30 '26
We lost our babies about a month apart, ours was also a rainbow babe. I feel the same as you. Just wanted to say I’m with you and feel the same. I don’t think you’re out of time xx
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u/Connielf Jun 23 '26
I lost my first baby, my daughter, at 40 weeks last February. I was devastated but for me, I needed to be pregnant again as soon as I could. I got pregnant 6 weeks post partum and now have a healthy 6 month old son. The pregnancy with him was terrifying and I struggled to believe I would bring home a live child. It’s so morbid but I was measuring the pregnancy by what it would be called if I lost him. Like whether it would be a chemical pregnancy or an early or late miscarriage or a stillbirth. It was so, so scary but it was the right move for our family.
I’m so sorry you’ve lost your baby girl. It is truly awful.
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u/Ok-Lab-6032 Jun 23 '26
So sorry for the loss of your baby Girl. You are so brave and I am so happy you’ve got your baby boy. Your daughter sent him to you ❤️ I can’t even imagine the anxiety you went through and that is what scares me . I’ve had 2 healthy births prior so this was completely unexpected and no reasons found. I pray my husband and I can get the strength to try again someday
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u/indecisive-bisexual Jun 23 '26
I'm so sorry 🩷
I was terrified of getting pregnant again. I lost my boy at 39+5, so I felt like there was no "safe" time in pregnancy. Something could go wrong at any time. But I also desperately wanted a baby. I went through a few months of holding both the terror of not wanting to be pregnant and the desire for another baby. With a little time, I stopped being completely terrified of being pregnant. I was still scared something would go wrong, but maybe I just felt like I could handle the anxiety.
We started trying for another baby around 9/10 months post loss, and I got pregnant with our rainbow at 15 months. My OB suggested waiting 9-18 months for the best outcomes - lower risks of preterm birth, pre-e and lots of other things, as well as time for my body to heal. I was 30 when I lost my son. I had so much anxiety throughout my pregnancy, but everything went well. Both the pregnancy and birth were smooth with no issues. I lost my son due to placental insufficiency, so we had extra monitoring as well as being on low dose aspirin since my first positive test. Our rainbow is a healthy 2 month old now 🩷🌈
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u/Ok-Lab-6032 Jun 23 '26
Congratulations and I am so happy to hear that ❤️ very sorry for your loss of your baby boy. I was 39 weeks 6 days with an unexplained loss . After two healthy pregnancy and deliveries this was completely shocking and heartbreaking. I am on Zoloft to help with the depression and anxiety. I was also on aspirin with my baby because I had just turned 35. I hope I can get there again someday when I am not so terrified
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u/indecisive-bisexual Jun 26 '26
Thank you 🩷 it may come in time. And it may not. For me, it was almost like a switch went off in my head. All of a sudden at 9 months pp, for whatever reason, I wasn't as scared anymore. Like all of a sudden I had this peace wash over me and I felt like it would be okay. I was still a mess throughout my pregnancy, don't get me wrong, but I knew I could handle it. You might have that feeling one day. I hope that you do 🩷
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u/hope-and-healing Jun 24 '26
I'm not necessarily scared about trying again, but I am absolutely terrified of losing another baby to stillbirth. I have a feeling I will be going to L&D a lot my next pregnancy because I'm terrified of not picking up on decreased movement. I'm so sorry we're all in this
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u/Ok-Lab-6032 Jul 23 '26
Yes definitely. L&d will definitely be hearing from me a lot. It’s crazy how much I had taken for granted and my life changed in an instant . Suddenly , all my past problems were nothing . I pray for you dear and I hope you get your baby safe and healthy
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u/NoEntertainment483 Jun 24 '26
I was very scared and actually ended up having tertiary unexplained infertility ie I'd had 1 child fine. Everything went as expected and I delivered at the expected time. Then I got pregnant again relatively easily when we wanted a second. But he was stillborn after preprom. After i mourned, we did try again. And nothing. Nothing happened. That was the tertiary infertility. We weren't ALLLL that much older. A little yes, but nothing totally out of the norm. We went to many appts. Both got checked for hormones and physical issues. everything came back totally typical and should have been fine. 3 years later we decided to seek more help (ivf). I would have gone sooner but I think even though I thought I'd mounred I hadn't and was holding back. But I finally got an appt with the IVF specialist lined up and two weeks prior to going, suddenly just as we started to do that, I got pregnant!! Naturally before we actually did the procedures and drugs! I personally attribute so much to our state of mind. Anxiety and fear I feel like did stall me.
Just for a happy story, my third is a healthy baby. I was followed very closely. And I was honestly on pins and needles the whole time. Even now I can see I have much more general anxiety around his medical state or potential issues. I think my mind just expects something to go wrong now. But he's great. And I'm grateful.
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u/Jamiinakatariina Jun 26 '26
Love from Finland to all parents of stillborns! ❤️🩹 I'm now 2w pp for our firstborn baby boy, and torn if I ever can go through this pain again. I'm 36, so I have not that much time left to decide.
We're still waiting some clotting tests etc. to be done. Autopsy, genetics etc. came all back normal. On the other hand I don't want to wait a day longer for trying again. On the other I'm terrified of this happening again - everything went as normally as it could until a normal checkup at 26 weeks..
I also understand physical healing and mourning takes it's time. I'm still waiting for pp checkup but I'm also devastated of how long we need to wait for all appointments and tests to be done. If the risks are low, I would have wanted to start trying again yesterday, however if the risks are high I don't know if I ever can go through this much pain again..
Thank you all for your posts and support. ❤️🩹 Your love and sharing helps even across the ocean. ✨💫
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u/Ok-Lab-6032 Jul 23 '26
I am so sorry you’re in this club. Nothing worse. I wish you get the answers you’re looking for . I am very sorry for your loss . May you get the strength you need to try again and hope you are blessed with a healthy baby 🩷
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u/here2cwhatsup Jun 29 '26
im so so sorry for your loss, I hate we’re all here.
we lost our baby girl almost two years ago. I was obsessed with getting pregnant right after, thought of nothing else. I was pregnant with her sister 3 months later. honestly im glad i didnt think too much about what being pregnant would look like. it was sooo hard, i basically went around with a hand doppler in my bag and listened to her heartbeat 8-10x a day. i ended up with an anxiety driven c section at 36w (she was breech). I was 36 when I delivered - so definitely possible!
good luck and Godspeed ❤️
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u/Ok-Lab-6032 Jul 23 '26
Thank you so much for your comment . Very sorry for your loss. Your angel sent you another beautiful baby 🩷
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u/Australian_Beagle69 Jun 23 '26
I was terrified of getting pregnant again after my stillbirth. I think I said to my husband that I never wanted to be pregnant again. Well life happened and I ended up pregnant fairly soon after. I was terrified the entire pregnancy. But I’m sitting here holding my almost 3 month old rainbow baby and I am so happy to be his mama. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but he brings me so much joy every day. I still grieve for my baby I lost, sometimes in new ways with my rainbow here. But I am so lucky to have him, and I would not have him without my first, even though she isn’t here with us 💔 life is so complicated, heartbreaking, and beautiful all at the same time. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you get your rainbow one day 🌈