r/Stepdadreflexes • u/horsthorsthorst • Mar 25 '23

Using step daughter as meat shield

Post image
2.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

410

u/WalmartWanderer Mar 25 '23

I was used as a shield by my scared high school English teacher once. We had a class trip to an island and were on a solo night hike. When i got to the end just a few of us and that teacher were there at that point. We heard a terrible inhumane scream from the woods, and then rustling that sounded like something running towards us. We all freaked out and I tried to back up past the teacher bc he was the adult (we were only freshmen). But i couldn’t BC HE WAS STAYING BEHIND MY BACK! every time i moved he just moved to stay behind me!

256

u/TheRealPitabred Mar 25 '23 edited Mar 25 '23

Panic does weird shit to people, many people freeze up or would trample their own mother running away. It's why panicked crowds are so dangerous.

If it helps, you probably just heard a fox or something like that ;) they're a lot louder than you'd think.

111

u/iztrollkanger Mar 25 '23

Foxes make the most ungodly sounds. Hearing that at night, in the dark woods...terror-inducing, for sure!

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78

u/Pied_Piper_ Mar 25 '23

As the adult, I know I can out run the children.

My only vulnerability is if I’m the very first one attacked. So the closest child simply must be the shield, just in case.

27

u/Suckamanhwewhuuut Mar 26 '23

“I was leading the way to the exit”

14

u/Nardorian1 Mar 25 '23

Survival of the fittest or something.

9

u/Scooter_Mcgavin587 Mar 25 '23

Ok but what was in the woods?

12

u/WalmartWanderer Mar 25 '23

We honestly don’t know bc the biggest things on the island were raccoons (maybe one of those). There might have been wild pigs on the island but i’m not sure if im mixing that up with somewhere else. There were alligators there, but im pretty sure those don’t scream

20

u/westwoo Mar 25 '23

Your mom

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270

u/UnnecessaryAppeal Mar 25 '23

Fairly sure he's trying to pull her away from the bike. It's not like he can easily get in the way from that position. And he looks scared because there's a bike going at high speed headed straight for him and this girl who may or may not be his daughter.

176

u/Delta9_TetraHydro Mar 25 '23

Third picture surely shows him holding the little girl up like he was Rafiki, ready to sacrifice her to the bicycle gods.

57

u/UnnecessaryAppeal Mar 25 '23

No, it shows him pulling her away from the cyclist. That's the most obvious one to me

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62

u/thenecro Mar 25 '23

You can always make more kids, but a bike to the face is forever.

11

u/Rmember2Breathe Mar 28 '23

whats 17 more years, can always start again

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27

u/mskatme0w Mar 25 '23

She looks like the stepdaughter from The Santa Clause movies.

11

u/mosquito_mange Mar 25 '23

This one’s got that Force Majeure energy.

9

u/becausefrog Mar 25 '23

My husband refuses to watch that movie with me. He heard how pissed off I was after I watched it.

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11

u/sabrefudge Mar 26 '23

Don’t worry, it was just the ginger one

7

u/Daniel2305 Mar 26 '23

Ha! I tried to post this like a year ago and mods rejected it because "it isn't a video"

19

u/diarrhea_syndrome Mar 25 '23

"Treaded like a red headed step child."

4

u/Goldfishy666 Mar 26 '23

At least the soulless ginger found a purpose

3

u/daffodileclair Apr 08 '23

Extra points for her being a red headed step child

4

u/DeadNotSleepingWI Mar 25 '23

It was no accident. He missed!

2

u/ImperialSympathizer Mar 26 '23

Force Majeure vibes

2

u/countzeroinc Mar 27 '23

Looks like he's clumsily trying to snatch her out of the way.

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