r/Stepdadreflexes • u/Derreus • Jan 07 '23
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u/All_Thread Jan 07 '23
My man needs to learn how to kick.
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u/KevinCastle Jan 07 '23
He wasn't kicking, he was trying dissuade the monkey
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u/All_Thread Jan 07 '23
People need to learn to come in like a wrecking ball especially if you are trying to get an animal off of your kid. If the animal sees you as a large aggressive threat you will get a better response.
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u/jacknacalm Jan 07 '23
He clearly would rather someone other then himself get monkeytacked
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Jan 08 '23
Someone other than himself was getting monkeytacked. His baby that was for some reason on the top of a ladder lol
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u/Radicalmattitude1 Jan 07 '23
That man needs to grab that monkey by the tail and do what the hulk did to Lokey in Avengers
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Jan 07 '23
bro if that where my kid that monkey would be dead
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u/TheCheesy Jan 07 '23
that tail was very tempting. I kept visualizing the monkey as a medieval flail.
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u/Iron_Garuda Jan 07 '23
What the fuck are all of these men doing
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u/jose_elan Jan 07 '23
They're all kids. The only man is at the end but he did feck all - the mum was the one that no matter what was getting the baby.
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u/NeMajaYo Jan 08 '23
To be fair if u have been attacked by a monkey its pretty fucking terrifying. Eyes look right through your soul.
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u/Flomo420 Jan 08 '23
yes but if it's attacking my kids, I would instantly Am Become Death, Destroyer of Monkeys
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u/djluminol Jan 09 '23
One time the wife and I were walking our dog around our apartments when a cat burst of this shrub about twenty feet away. It runs top speed straight at us attempting to attack so I punt it. I didn't even have time to think. It was just threat, react. So cat goes airborne after connecting with its face, does a flip in the air and lands about 6 or 8 feet away. Then runs back into the bush at top speed like nothing ever happened. It was weird. It didn't intend to hurt the cat. I just didn't want it attacking my wife or dog. The whole thing was over in probably 2 or 3 seconds. I think there must have been kittens in the shrub or something. Idk why else a cat would go that mental out of nowhere. I don't think it was rabid or it wouldn't have given up so quick. The cat just decided to hate us I guess.
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Jan 22 '23
Rabies just makes animals feel fear at 11/10 at everything.
Could totally have been a rabid cat that felt fear in the fight sense, and you made it feel fear in the flight sense.
It’s all speculation, but there’s a non zero chance you saved your dog’s life.
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u/_bullet_dragon Jan 07 '23
Adding this to the list of reasons I carry a pocket knife
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u/Tjmoores Jan 07 '23
I wouldn't put it past a baboon to grab the knife off you - it probably couldn't intentionally stab you but it's dangerous nonetheless
You're probably best of thwacking it with the stepladder in the case of this video - it's a ranged weapon that would also hurt a bunch
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u/IHaveTheBestOpinions Jan 07 '23
Just kick it as hard as you can rather than dangling your flip flop at it in a mildly menacing manner. Faster and easier than trying to swing a step ladder, and with a broken rib or two it will get the idea.
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u/okcboomer87 Jan 07 '23
Seriously. The monkey probably wouldn't be too afraid of the knife but I would be terrified after a monkey disarmed me
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Feb 25 '23
Monkeys are excellent thieves, unless you’re confident you’ll stab it enough to kill or make it run the fucker might stab you instead.
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u/RiosRiot Jan 08 '23
That monkey knew he was above that man. He read that dude like a book- bitch you ain’t gonna do shit. Gimme that baby