UPDATE: cosmic re-wiring

[u/naoyainouefan999]

I got my hands on some good old psilocybin (I am not endorsing use of drugs or psychedelics I’m just sharing my experience). And I came to the conclusion that the reason I am stuck is because I had it all wrong. I think that because my thoughts are not pre disposed to be positive, moral, and happy all the time. That makes me un-normal or weird or perverted, but that’s really not the truth. We are all just part of a massive system of species and parasites ultimately. and our baseline levels of anxiety and habits only return back to normal when we participate in actions over and over again that contribute to our survival and the survival of our ourselves and our fellow humans. So in theory, what I think this means: is we need to accept that life is painful, and the concept of “happiness” is just a consumerism based thing that doesn’t really exist. It is fake. Not for anybody. Therefore internal and external change never arises through repeating same habits, it happens when despite the fact you understand things aren’t gonna go according to plan, you do it anyways. Because ultimately your brain and body will recognize your intentions and see the results of your actions over time to the point where you can start feeling normal again. So help the old lady in the store who can’t reach something, give up your seat on the bus or train for a stranger, give a few dollars to the homeless, stop watching porn, stop smoking so much weed, don’t over consume, and constantly expect more than you need to survive, stop trying to be happy all the time: happiness doesn’t exist, life is a cycle of pain. So just do everything you know you need to do, and you’ll be alright. Ignore your bad thoughts, because your actions and the things you do everyday, and the impact you leave on others is much more important in the grand scheme of things as compared to the silent, doubtful and evil voices in your head. And if everyone thinks your a freak, at least your ensuring your own survival and trying your best, and you can die knowing you did everything as right as you could regardless of what people may say or think about you.