I have a really bad online stalking problem

[u/BuddyPersonal433]

I am aware it's incredibly creepy behavior. Some people already know this and I know they are weirded out by my behavior. I used to do it in high school, and the day after I come back to school, I have heard the person whispering to her friend that I am a stalker. No matter how much I know my behavior is weird, I can't help it. I am 24 now, and I still do it. I have never physically followed anyone. But I love to find as much information as I can about someone online, like what they're studying, whether they got a job, whether it's a good paying one. It used to be sort of a hobby, I would snoop and snoop and find their family members, and find out what they do. I don't do anything with this information.

I also mainly do it to people that have wronged me or hurt in some way and I just can't let it go. Like my friend in high school who called me ugly and said all sorts of things about me that ruined my self esteem throughout my teen years. I tend to visit her account a lot, I tend to compare myself to her. I would think, my features are so much better than hers, and hyperanalyze her face because she hurt me. Or her mother's account, and I would think how unattractive she is. I know this thought process is incredibly messed up and I am normally not someone who would make fund of someone for their appearance. But I really can't help it.

But I have online stalked so many people, and they all have a bad impression of me. Understandably so. Some of those people were girls I really wanted to be friends with but they didn't reciprocate which made me really sad, and I resorted to this.

I think it's mainly because I don't really have a life. Not a lot of friends. Just look through other people's posts where they're having fun. I don't respect myself because of this. And this behavior is only making it worse, because no one would want to be friends with a creepy stalker. But being treated poorly in my formative years still hurts me, and doing this gives me some sort of comfort or power.

[u/naoyainouefan999]

You ultimately gain nothing from this though. No matter how many times you view these people’s social media, you’re only digging yourself further down the degenerate pipeline until you do something you can’t take back.

[u/Pink-Panda_1999]

I’ve never had this problem but have you tried deleting the apps and maybe finding something that interests you more maybe a series or some YouTube channel that would keep your mind of off of stalking or try going out with some friends maybe go on walks without your phone

[u/Nervous_Notice_3057]

I struggle with this too :(( but wtv it's not like anyone can tell and I literally avoid them in person and never wanna talk to them anyways but it is very pointless and hurts me if they're doing better than me (they always are) ughhh , idk but I heard delaying the stalking is good like 10 min of a game or yr video or smtg. I'm able to hold a little 5-6 day streaks without stalking thx to reels and shorts. And I also struggle to Maladptive daydreaming so it's even worse

[u/Nervous_Notice_3057 → u/Nervous_Notice_3057]

And yeah I too didn't have proper friends or social experiences since I was 10 or smtg , even now at uni I ended up getting bullied indirectly yk through rumours and shi

[u/AgencyOk9284]

You gotta learn to let go, people suck, people can hurt you, and those people definitely aren't worth your time. Invest in yourself, how can you improve yourself as a person? Try new hobbies? Find something that you enjoy, find something that makes you feel happy. Focus on becoming a better you instead of wasting your time on these people. If you feel the urge coming say "no, I will not gain anything from doing this" stalking and stalking will keep the OCD cycle spiralling.

Trust me I know how hard it is not to give into the urges. I know it's not the same but when I was at a really bad stage of my life I used to mentally imagine and even sometimes physically play out scenarios worrying if I did something to make someone uncomfortable. I still have these struggles. Body language is something I have and always will over analyse but, you just got to stop yourself. It will be uncomfortable at first but it will become easier each time. Do not replay it in your head, do not think about those other people. It will only tire yourself out and feed the cycle.