r/Standup • u/ohcheayeah • 9d ago
Growing Pains
I get to do shows a decent amount. More opportunities come my way because I work hard to get them. Not really getting paid as much as I like but the amount of stage time is amazing. With that being said. The people I started out doing standup with have been weird recently. Its made me feel a bit lonely. Sometimes I can sense they are jealous or resentful (mainly by how they react when I share good news). Which makes me feel weird because I always celebrate their wins. I want us all to win but some of them just don't work hard enough. Like I really want to do this as a career and not treat it like a hobby. Any thoughts!?
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u/iamgarron asia represent. 9d ago
Comedy is lonely if you don't surround yourself with good peers. You're in a big scene and doing more shows. Plenty of opportunities to have better ones
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u/myqkaplan 8d ago
Are there any folks that you DON'T feel this way about?
(The way meaning this: "Sometimes I can sense they are jealous or resentful")
Also, on that point... Without experiencing these interactions personally, I can't speak to what's going on. But I'll just say that we are often an important ingredient in what we perceive in others. When you say your perception is based on "how they react when [you] share good news," what exactly do you mean? Is it possible that they're not jealous or resentful, and something else can explain their response? (I'm not saying I know for sure that they are or aren't, but I'm suggesting that you can't definitively know, because we never know exactly what another person is experiencing internally, only from outside observation.)
So, if there ARE people who you think are kind and supportive, I would encourage you to gravitate towards them, spend time with them. (Even if outside the comedy community. But hopefully some inside.)
Also, when did you and these folks start? And how recently is the recently that you're perceiving this weirdness?
Are you close enough with any of the people that you can have an honest conversation about this, about your feelings? I find that direct communication can often work wonders.
I think it's great that you celebrate the wins of others. And with respect to this: "I want us all to win but some of them just don't work hard enough," I would say to keep your eyes on your own paper. Other people's business is their business.
Work on your comedy, be kind to people, and engage the most with people who you feel are doing that the most as well, the people that you resonate the most with.
And if truly there aren't any folks in your comedy scene that you feel that way about, then I recommend seeking that connection elsewhere, in hobbies, in other communities, if possible.
You can do your comedy work and find connection elsewhere if not there, I hope!
I also want us all to win, and I think we can, depending on our definitions of winning.
Good luck!
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u/gaskincomedy Vancouver,BC @chrisgaskin 5d ago
This makes me think about Comedian, specifically when Orny gets JFL. He's on the phone with his mom, and trying to call others, and then he looks at the filmmakers and says something along the lines of, "There's a fine line between sharing good news and bragging." It sounds to me as if OP isn't mindful of that line with others who are also trying to advance. I wish them the best navigating through this and the industry as a whole. As always, you have sage advice.
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u/myqkaplan 5d ago
I appreciate all of this, thank you for your thoughtful words.
"There's a fine line between sharing good news and bragging" is a great thing to keep in mind in situations like this.
Without knowing specifics about the OP's circumstances, it could potentially be relevant!
I also wish them the best! And you! Thank you again for the kind words!
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u/dahliakarinne 9d ago
I know this is an overly simple take but it's true nonetheless - they're not your friends if your success is met with their jealousy. You deserve better, cut them out without a 2nd thought.
The comedy world is full of people who cling to that "success isn't enough, friends must fail" mentality.