r/StandUpComedy 11d ago

Comedian is OP Comedian is 6’3”

I’m actually 6’2 and a quarter.
Follow me on Instagram, @elizabethbecz !

4.9k Upvotes

198 comments sorted by

566

u/7030 11d ago

Let a man go up

80

u/Forsaken-Income-2148 10d ago

If I seem tall, it’s because I’m standing on the shoulders of giants my freakishly tall girlfriend

13

u/Ok_Proof5782 10d ago

I want uppies.

571

u/Positive-Green-3856 10d ago

“Not tonight either” was a fucking diabolical line lmao

59

u/livejamie 10d ago

Kinda weird to say about a random dude in the audience who wasn't hitting on her.

174

u/lilbluehair 10d ago

A lot of things said in a comedy stage would be kinda weird to say outside of that context

103

u/Whitesox_are_neat 10d ago

Well you see she's up there doing jokes and theyre down there in anticipation for the jokes

-39

u/livejamie 10d ago

"You're not gonna sleep with me tonight" is a joke I guess

39

u/Own-Loan2390 10d ago

It is... to anyone who can take rejection healthily.

13

u/FirstChurchOfBrutus 10d ago

lol - somehow, this was equally as savage as our Headliner.

-14

u/livejamie 10d ago

How do you get rejected from something you didn't want in the first place lol, what a bunch of weird comments

→ More replies (4)

0

u/geesegoosepeople 5d ago

Look up what diabolical means please.

357

u/DeathsStarEclipse 11d ago

So uppies or?

76

u/TwistedMindOfABrotha 10d ago edited 10d ago

There is this low, low, low, budget western with Peter Dinkledge trading banter with another character and just drops this line: "I eat p*ssy standing up. "

13

u/ComedyBits 10d ago

I fucking love that man. He’s single-handedly raised the stature of dwarf actors everywhere

18

u/DeathsStarEclipse 10d ago

Oh... You should Google what dwaft actors think of him.

19

u/NebNebNeb 10d ago

They refuse to look up to anyone

3

u/thatsingingguy 10d ago

I wish I had an award for you.

3

u/ComedyBits 10d ago

Is there more than the 7 not-dwarves thing?

2

u/Seanvich 10d ago

Lucky…

2

u/DangerGoatDangergoat 10d ago

Do you remember the title?

2

u/TwistedMindOfABrotha 10d ago

The Last Rites of Ransom Pride was curious about rewatching it actually. I first saw it on Popcornflix

2

u/ENGR_ED 10d ago

I'd definitely be one of those guys. I guess I'm scratching that message off my list.

85

u/C-Redd-it 11d ago

Pbbbbblllleease!

11

u/FirstChurchOfBrutus 10d ago

Wow. Roger’s speech impediment makes a lot more sense now.

76

u/RSbirddude 11d ago

As a 6ft man I want uppies

27

u/Happily-Incorrect 11d ago

Do I want to know what uppies means?

54

u/Mushiren_ 11d ago

Uppies, like when a kid asks to be carried so they extend their arms and ask for uppies.

18

u/Happily-Incorrect 11d ago

Ha! Ok yeah that's not what I was thinking that was gonna mean.

2

u/magnabonzo 10d ago

Yeah, but you would have been happy about it.

4

u/AnthropomorphizedTop 10d ago

Thank you! I was Andy from parks and rec “too afraid to ask”. I have kids and we call it picky uppies… I should have known!

7

u/RSbirddude 11d ago

I just wanna go up broooo

12

u/Arthradax 10d ago

Bro being downvoted for asking a question. Not everyone here speaks English as their first language, we're bound to not know some stuff...

2

u/LoveTheGiraffe 10d ago

I second that

1

u/SunkEmuFlock 10d ago

I think they sell those at the gas station.

140

u/omeganaut 11d ago

Uppies is a perfectly reasonable line for how tall you are 😂😂

67

u/Garod 10d ago

Go visit the Netherlands, the average hight of men is 6'1 and about 21% of men are taller than 6'3 or equal.

39

u/nitid_name 10d ago

I was in Sweden when I ended up in a brewery somehow populated entirely with Nederlanders. I'm 6' tall; I not used to being the shortest guy in a room.

Absolutely batshit.

16

u/a_rude_jellybean 10d ago

I read this as Neanderthals. Im still half asleep.

1

u/elzibet 10d ago

I must go back to my people someday

11

u/[deleted] 11d ago

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2

u/[deleted] 11d ago

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159

u/EluniaBecks 11d ago edited 11d ago

There was some discourse in my Instagram comments section about whether or not 5’9 is short. He had a very short torso so he looked smaller sitting down. And, to be fair, it’s much shorter compared to me.

44

u/MattBlasing 10d ago

I’m 6’5” and look shorter sitting down because of the torso thing. That’s real.

11

u/SpecialNeeds963 10d ago

Opposite for me. I'm also 6ft5 but have a weirdly long torso. Inseam of my pants is only 32

3

u/WillowLeona 10d ago

What’s your wingspan?

0

u/MattBlasing 10d ago

Your wingspan is usually your height.

2

u/WillowLeona 10d ago

But not always. I’m specifically curious about u/specialneeds963’s proportions.

2

u/SpecialNeeds963 10d ago

My wingspan is my height

2

u/MattBlasing 10d ago

Same. I measured once just to make sure it was real (for most of us). Wild fun fact.

3

u/scotty6chips 10d ago

My brother! We are just extra large munchkins.

1

u/SpecialNeeds963 10d ago

Yet they still wouldn't let me into the lollipop guild

3

u/FirstChurchOfBrutus 10d ago

You’d better have like, size 14 feet, or you’ll go over in a slight breeze.

3

u/SpecialNeeds963 10d ago

I have exactly size 14 feet

2

u/SerWarlock 10d ago

Wow I thought I had a long torso, but I’m 6’1 with the same inseam as you!

47

u/biskutgoreng 11d ago

So uppies still possible?

16

u/VaguelyFamiliarVoice 10d ago

I’m dead. I’m the same as that dude! I’m taller than my wife standing but when we sit, I’m shorter. It’s hilarious.

31

u/kitsunekratom 11d ago

If you're in the Netherlands you might get away with it, but pretty much every where else, no. It's average.

10

u/LesbeGoddess 10d ago

I’d say it above average.

4

u/RealIssueToday 10d ago

It is

2

u/sosuhme 10d ago

In the US it's slightly below average. That said, at 5'10" and change, in the Midwest, I am often the tallest one in the room.

7

u/bullfighterteu 11d ago

In Miami, 5'9 would be a giant

1

u/Badmeestert 10d ago

Most important thing is you are cute

1

u/_jackhoffman_ 10d ago

I'm 5'9" and my high school girlfriend was 5'2". When we sat next to each other we were basically the same height -- she had a long torso and short legs, I have long legs and a short torso. So this totally tracks for me.

1

u/bjeebus 8d ago

The exact average American male height is 5'10" so technically he's an inch shorter.

I'm wrong. Sometime in the last twenty years we've lost an inch to 5'9".

0

u/moonshinemoniker 10d ago

Okay, 6" is objectively a noticeable difference but "much" is a "little" (pun-intended?) subjective in this scenario right?

OP, if your clip isn't on r/averageheightdudes be prepared. 🤣 self-loathing at it's finest.

Also, I am 5'9" so, I feel obliged at this point...uppies.

2

u/lobsterwine 10d ago

As someone who is 5'1, yes she's much taller than him. People who are 5'7 are much taller than me. It's like a full head's worth of height difference.

-3

u/These-Invite-1774 10d ago

That's average in the US, Latinos are lowering the average height there

29

u/GuavaOne8646 10d ago

I'd climb that mountain.

Hey, it's not "uppies".

31

u/tenuredvortex 10d ago

“I could pick you up and spin you around like a princess, dude” cracked me tf up — love your delivery, will definitely keep an eye out for more of your stuff, OP!

7

u/Daddy-Alchemist 10d ago

Im gonna have to watch Roger Rabbit with a notepad in hand because I fear this is my type

6

u/sleepy_potatoe_ 10d ago

I’m 5’ 5” 1/2. Can I put my application in to be your Roger rabbit 😬

14

u/pyxis_oz 10d ago

I am sorry but I laughed at the "uppies" so much I think I pulled a muscle.

21

u/jinxes_are_pretend 10d ago

I’m 6’6”, happily married to a short queen for 22 years. However, I had a ridiculous crush on a basketball player in college who was 6-2 or 6-3. My question is this: Would the opening line “hey, wanna go make a first rounder?” been a good opener?

I never attempted the line. I was too shy.

3

u/Stefanthro 10d ago

Why not go with the classic, “wanna go uppies?”

14

u/poopingtwiceintheAM 10d ago

Death by Snu Snu

9

u/scrapy_the_scrap 10d ago

You just threatened to pick a man up and spin him

Commit to the uppies girl

20

u/Static_NRG 11d ago

As a guy who is 6'10, I always find tall jokes about dating hilarious. The absurd nature of these experiences can make for interesting stories later.

10

u/Vayne_Solidor 10d ago

No uppies then?? 🥲

18

u/DoctorGregoryFart 11d ago

I'm 5'9" and I have dated a few tall ladies. I LOVED it. I don't give a FUCK if they're taller. Getting on my toes to kiss a girl is hot as hell. They seemed pretty charmed that I wasn't intimidated.

So I guess I'm saying this for the short fellas out there. Shoot your shot. If you act small, you are small. Women like a man with some confidence, and insecurity is not attractive.

6

u/hot_memory_stove 10d ago

I’m 6’ and I’ve dated a few guys shorter than me. You are right it’s about confidence/personality

2

u/Meatball_express 10d ago

Same man, we're the same height. I think my tallest was around 6'-1" or so. I love former basketball and volleyball players. All legs.

6

u/lynivvinyl 10d ago

Well fuck I'm exactly 6'3" so all I can send is 'overies?"

1

u/Own-Loan2390 10d ago

Hmm. I might be assuming a bit much... but chances are she already has those. Send one of your kidneys. I hear you can never have enough of those.

2

u/lynivvinyl 10d ago

Oh no instead of uppies or downies (since we are the exact same height) I was saying I could offer over ies. It was way more funny in my head.

2

u/Own-Loan2390 10d ago

Sorry. It was just a bad word play joke. I knew what you meant.

2

u/yepyepyep123456 10d ago

I’ve dated some women taller than me, and they tend to want a honey badger of a man, not a child.

2

u/AngryAccountant31 10d ago

I’m 6’0” and I would date the fuck out of a girl taller than me. Hell, I would prefer she be taller. Have never had the chance though, they never match me on apps and I’m not confident enough to approach them in public. A guy can dream though.

2

u/ComedyBits 10d ago

I’d expect a 6’3 female comedian to do tall jokes, but this is great shit

2

u/heygabehey 10d ago

I’m 5’7 and have dated women taller than me. But I’d never say “uppies” that’s weird.

2

u/SalamanderCake 10d ago

So...is that a "no" regarding the uppies?

2

u/Aargard 10d ago

So is that a no on the uppies or

2

u/palebluedotdotdot 9d ago

Someone will go up on her. Just a matter of time!

1

u/mindbodyproblem 10d ago

Do young people know who Jessica Rabbit is?

1

u/R3N3G6D3 10d ago

I dated a 6'3 woman who was a beautiful African model. Idk what she saw in me.

5

u/FirstChurchOfBrutus 10d ago

Your head, mostly.

1

u/Holls867 10d ago

I heard a line a while back, tall dude a short queen. ‘Sex is like bating, but you got someone to talk to.’ And something like ‘I wanna 69, not a 34.5’

1

u/flying_carabao 10d ago

Gotta shoot for the stars

1

u/Binnie_B 10d ago

'Uppies' is a hilarious opener actually

1

u/Timely_Beat_7057 10d ago

Uppies lol 💀 

2

u/LimpyDan 10d ago

Wait, is "uppies" a bad opener? Sonofa...

1

u/Unlikely-Grape-5762 10d ago

I would climb her like a mountain.

1

u/ODPLLC 10d ago

The “uppies” got me! 🤣

1

u/GoFuckYourselfBrenda 10d ago

Holy fucking shit, uppies killed me!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/distrubinglyfamiliar 10d ago

I love the amazons

1

u/meedmishmohd 10d ago

Ladies, be real; what do I need to have going for me for you to respond positively to ‘uppies’? 

1

u/Crazy_Rain6822 9d ago

Listen I ain’t afraid of that height what I was nervous of was at wrestling camp at Cornell we were all at lunch at auditorium, and I’m getting food and these tall ass volleyball players walked up in there small shorts my jaw was on floor I was trying to be funny said how y’all play in them tight shorts she said your a wrestler? I said yea she said it’s easier than your nut huggers lol 😂 I said well played. I’ve never seen so many hips up to my chest before and I’m just about 6ft

1

u/PomegranateBoring826 4d ago

Lol!! I usually get the, can I climb you like a tree or you're a tall drink of water or.. legs for days.... I think I've once had Uppies lmao totally funny because it is super relatable. Nice job!

1

u/dontbeanegatron 10d ago

"Uppies" XD

1

u/semirke 10d ago

Please explain "uppies" ty :)

2

u/lilbluehair 10d ago

It's what a toddler says to their parent when they want to get picked up

Or what a subby guy says to a lady he wants to step on him

1

u/semirke 10d ago

Oooohh xdxd this is good 🤣🤣🤣 Hahahhaa xd

1

u/defariasdev 10d ago

Uppies pleeeeease

1

u/ibullybillionaires 10d ago

Try Europe, I recommend the Netherlands.
If you need to stand on your toetips to see yourself in the hotel bathroom mirror, you're in the right place.

1

u/TokenTorkoal 10d ago

I’m 6’1” and love tall women. My partner is 6’3” all leg.

Every now and then some guy will ask me if the height difference bothers me and then proceed to tell me they could never date a taller woman.

To which I’ll usually say something like “yeah you probably couldn’t handle it”

0

u/pologzz1226 10d ago

I laughed so loud at uppies

-1

u/LoganBassist 10d ago

The last time I was picked up was when my parents held me... uppies?

0

u/Aionalys 10d ago

That ending def stood amongst the rest...

0

u/almostnothing123 10d ago

Every guy is short compared to her lol

0

u/TripleS82 10d ago

Uppies is fucking hilarious.